#biscuitgate

To whoever thought it’d be funny to enchant the staffroom biscuits to scurry away when someone reaches for them: 1. Well done. Truly inspired work. 2. Stop it. I tried using magic to stop the rogue custard cream so I could disenchant it, but the little menace was too fast. Spells ricocheting off the walls, me dodging a self-stirring teapot—it’s safe to say I’m far too old for this nonsense. Meanwhile, Flitwick’s doubled over in laughter, and Sprout’s offered to “grow me a calmer snack.” If I find out who’s responsible, you’ll be on dungbomb disposal duty with Filch for the rest of the term. Mark my words.