Gravestone: Ideal way you’d like to die?

I wanna be shot doing something awesome tbh. what a lük.

Trick or Treat: Tell me about the greatest prank you’ve ever pulled?

in high school there were two gym teachers, a dude and a woman. the dude was alright but the woman was awful, like, literally bullied kids awful, and when she had to take some leave because of a leg injury she made sure to appoint someone she highly recommended, who was of course just as bad as she was. we heard this from another class, which had been mostly girls, and one of the things we heard was that she was very strict about dress code. she was making the girls take out hair ties if they were the wrong colour, talking shit about how their hair wasn’t styled right, even insulting things people couldn’t change like their hair cut. I decided to play a prank.

my mum had this wig left over from a fancy dress party, a long, straight, blonde one from when she went as a hippie. it had a flowery band tied around it, like, sewn into the wig. I asked her if she was using it anymore and she said no, so I cut it into the worst and longest style a boy could get away with with my school’s dress code. boys at my school had to have hair short enough that it didn’t touch the collar of our shirts, so I cut it a millimetre away, in a bob haircut. I kiiinda looked like the villain from No Country For Old Men or whatever. it was bad, is what you need to know. 

so the new teacher takes us for gym, which is last two periods. I slip away at lunch and affix the wig. she has never had our class before so she doesn’t know what I look like. my class is all in on it, all of them having had friends or girlfriends insulted by her in the other class. we’re ready to rock. because she’s never had us before, she has no way of knowing that my hair is fake. from the way she looked at me, I think she maybe suspected, but who the fuck is gonna accuse someone of wearing a wig if there’s a chance they might be wrong? I was just getting on as normal, and my class, top lads, were all doing their usual warmups. no one was sniggering or giving me away. everything looked normal. the teacher stared at me for a long while, in my terrible blond bob, and then seized upon the only thing she could.

“you need to take that headband off.”

bait: taken.

I tell her I can’t, that I won’t, etc. we have a bit of a back and forth about it. she’s threatening detention, I’m saying it’ll keep my hair out of my face, she’s telling me it’s not very manly of me to be wearing a flowery headband, my friend helpfully pipes up “are you saying that because he’s gay?” (I’m bi, but the effort was appreciated), the argument goes on. finally she does something I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams. I was planning on pulling the wig off and running, but she grabbed the headband and tried to pull it.

I didn’t realise she was going to do this because it’s not really allowed, but clearly she didn’t care. it’s probably the last time she ever laid hands on a student, because the look on her face as my hair came off was priceless. she gasped and dropped it to the ground, I gave a very realistic shriek of terror, the rest of the glass gasped and yelled and cried “you pulled his hair off!”, it was a merry time.

Something I like about myself.