#bipoler

:0 10/10 woah

But I went to bed very late, woke up around 9:50 and checked some notifications to be reminded I have a family reunion today and immediately started rehearsing how to not tell people I'm fine but not concern them with just how bad I'm doing and then it started to stress me out so I went out to get water & feed cat. In the few minutes that I was up and trying to communicate I (feel like, responded to as though) I got shut down. I was telling my hubby about how I was stressed out about the reunion and his replies were simply not helpful so I was trying to explain that the advice wouldn't properly apply to the situation and he cut me off to say "you're way too intense right now, I'm not attacking you" and yes, I know that he simply meant calm down dear, I don't mean to come at you, no need to be defensive. But I couldn't help but take it differently and honestly it just played into the fears and insecurities that are currently pouring out of me that say "you're too much" "nobody can deal with you".. What hurts is that I explained this very situation and how/why I was sensitive about that and why I feel insecure in this way and of course, it didn't really affect anything. Bless his heart he didn't try to be mean or do anything wrong, I'm just so fragile right now damn. So anyway, I just finished feeding cat and went back to bed to sulk. This day should be interesting.

No one knows what it's like