#binterong

Arctictis & Binterong

I don't have my sun gloves on

I'm the ranch

I like to live dangerously, and by that I mean give myself really bad poops

I've never truly experienced firey poops and I want to

Photography is very much a contact sport. You know like contact sheets?

All that are sticky are not always stickers

Hooray for no public indecency!

I’m unsalted!

I’m gonna sit there narrating while you awkwardly lick your stick

“Senior quote ideas!

Binterong

Celebrities

Oprah:

“You get a car, and you get are car, everybody gets a car!”

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

“Some women have a weakness for shoes... I can go barefoot if necessary. I have a weakness for books.”

“Step Away from the Mean Girls…

…and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.

Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others. This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.”

Emeril Lagasse:

“Bam!”

“If somebody has a chance to put my food in their mouth, that tells the story.”

Bill Clinton:

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

“When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried inhaling again.”

“I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.”

“Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think.”

“You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle.”

“When our memories outweigh our dreams, it is then that we become old.”

“Being President is like being the groundskeeper in a cemetery: there are a lot of people under you, but none of them are listening.”

“If you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat.”

James Earl Jones:

“This is CNN”

“I don't ever want to be a sentimentalist. I prefer to be a realist. I'm not a romantic really.”

“Acting is not about anything romantic, not even fantasy, although you do create fantasy.”

“Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn't cut it.”

“The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose.”

Groucho Marx:

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others”

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”

“I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.”

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”

“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

“Whatever it is, I'm against it.”

Books, TV Shows, and Movies of Our Childhood

The Suite Life of Zach and Cody:

“It was supposed to be a honey mist auburn!” Cody Martin “well honey you missed auburn bugtime” Zack Martin

“Yay Me!!!!” London tipton

London: I don't like this tangerine! Maddie: No, that is a Tam-bo-rine! A tangerine is what the audience is gonna throw at you!

Max: Everyone knows nothing rhymes with orange. Tapeworm: Oh yeah? What about "snorange"? Max: Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

Cody: Zachary! Zack: Codery!

Zack: I know he's having a miserable time. We have twin telepathy. It's like my brain is receiving phone calls from him.

Carey: Well, you have a bad connection. Hang up. Zack: Uh, uh. I can sense these things. Remember when Cody broke his leg and I sensed it? Carey: That's because you fell on him and broke it.

Cody: [on cell phone answering machine] Hi. This Cody using my mother's phone. Leave a message, and remember: numbers are your friend.

Moseby: Are you familiar with the gear shift? London: You mean the PRNDL? [PRNDL pronounced "prindle] Moseby: Are you referring to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L? London: I'm not a child Moseby, I know how to spell PRNDL. Moseby: It's not something that you spell, it is a gear shift. The letters stand for Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, and Low!! London: You're making me nervous with all this technical talk. Moseby: Oh! I'm sorry, Why don't we just relax, turn on the radio. Would you like AMMM or FMMMM?!

London: there are no buildings on the highway.

Maddie: Well in all fairness to London I have to say, even though I was being held against my will - and my lawyers will be in touch - she did a pretty good job driving up here.

Cody: Don't move anywhere! Your cornered around with my knowledge! Zack: Sure the only fighting skills he has is his brain.

Mr. Moseby: Your father has to stay incognito. London: Where is Cognito? Mr. Moseby: In hiding. London: Where is Hiding?

Maddie: It's a special night. Don't make me slap you.

London: Hey, every time I'm in the paper, my social life just gets better and better.

Moseby: We don't have a dungeon, but I can have him fired.

Cody: I've gotta win this science award. Then I can get into M.I.T. and invent a nanobot that eats oil spills and be able to retire comfortably while taking care of my aging mother and paying my brother's bail money.

Zack: So dyslexic, I am? Mr. Forgess: Well, it like looks it--I mean, it looks like it.

Kurt: That's what your mother said when she left me, and a few other things I can't mention.

London: It's just there are so many beautiful things out there to buy. How can you possibly resist them?

London: Yep. I've hit rock bottom. And I don't like rock bottom. It's so rock bottomy.

London: Daddy always says, competition's a good thing. It's a chance to crush people.

London: Well, you were wrong, with a capital R.

Cody:  Zack, this is a chance for us to really help people. I'm thinking about working with kids...You better take this seriously or you're gonna fail while I get an A. Zack: You're one of the kids I hate.

Carey: [to the twins] Hey, guys. What'cha been doing? Cody: Inspiring people to reach their full potential and achieve their dreams.

Maddie: You're going down! London: You're going downer!

Cody: [to Sanjay] Don't listen to him. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Zack: I have a plan… ,Cody:  Don't listen to him. That's what he always says right before we get grounded... Correction. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Warren: It's elegant yet casual. Bob: It's sophisticated yet tasteful. Zack: I think it's stupid yet stupid.

Trevor: And then she said "who" instead of "whom". I'm not a grammar snob, but it's just egregious when somebody uses the subjective case instead of the accusative case, hahaha!

Esteban: [sings] Rock-a-bye, chicken, in the tree top. Watch out for the farmer. Your head he will chop. [the children start crying] Zack: Don't you know any lullabies that don't involve decapitating poultry?

Moseby: At the league of extraordinary hotel managers. If only I could find out which guest he is, then I could make sure he gets the perfect dining experience.

Carey: If I give you guys pets, will you stop bugging me? Twins: Yes. Carey: Pet rocks. Don't overfeed them. Cody: I'm gonna name mine Tim.

Zack: You don't have to do everything Mr. Moseby says. We like to think of his rules more as... suggestions.

Cody: It's about doing your homework, eating your broccoli when Mom isn't looking! Zack: You offered it to me! Cody: Yeah, because that's what brothers do for each other! But it's never reciprocal! Zack: Huh? Cody: Reciprocal means it would be nice if you did something for me for a change! Zack: I did! You offered me money and I took it!

Carey: Relax, Cody. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Cody: I'm not putting too much pressure on me. Harvard's putting too much pressure on me! Yale is putting too much pressure on me! Princeton! M.I.T! Stanford! Do you think they're out there looking for under-achievers? If I don't ace woodshop, I'll end up being one of those guys who sells hot dogs and sleeps in a taxi!

Zack: Do you think wood grows on trees?

Moseby: You know, the older I get, the more I realize that you have to look adversity in the face and say 'You don't scare me.'

Zack: That works for me. Because if tomorrow is going to be today again, then today is actually yesterday, which means that yesterday's homework isn't due today, it's really due... tomorrow!

London: Moseby, it's your birthday? Wait, you have a birthday?? Since when??? Mr. Moseby: Pretty much since the day I was born. Hence the term birth-day.

Mr. Moseby: Don't talk, and listen. Now, I am not going to fire Armando. I mean, you're the one who ruined the show. By the way, what happened to his real assistant?

Mr. Moseby: Oh ya, the oooops always makes it better. Perhaps you'd stick some bacon in my ears

Zack: The point is, there's a lot of great adventures out there, but you can't have any of them stuck in here with a bunch of weird bald dudes.

Mr. Moseby: In the weekend, that must be failed in the treasure hunt we'll never be able to do. Because of me, that always has to do with that the end of the story.

iCarly:

“In three two one, i know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful”

“You’ll rue the day carly shay, rue it!” Neville

Spencer: Well, it seems our sign is so bright and dazzling, it distracted one of the drivers below. [Hears another car crash] Actually, two of the driver-- [Another crash] Three of the dr-- [Another crash] Literally, many of the drivers below are being distracted by our extremely dazzling sign.

Spencer: Alright, don't worry too much about this yet, just... go do your homework or something. Carly: Kay. Spencer: I mean... YOU GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! Carly: Yes, sir! Spencer: AND JUST SAY NO! Carly: Always! Spencer: AND STAY IN SCHOOL! Carly: Maybe.

Carly: I'm not a child! I'm just young and short.

Spencer: No, there's a distinction. This is her homework schedule and a number for a tutor because she's been having a little trouble with science. These are the vitamins that she needs to take everyday. I only give her the ones shaped like dinosaurs. Granddad: Why? Spencer: Dinosaurs are cool. Oh, and she's really into drinking coffee, [whispers] but I always give her decaf without telling her.

Spencer: [to camera] Never forget to buy candy on Halloween.

Sam: This thing is full of top-notch freaks, mutants and psychos!

Sam: Ooh! I got kicked out of the cafeteria for slapping Gibby with a piece of pizza.

Carly: [speaking very fast] Yes, I did, too! He told me that he can beat his dad in arm wrestling, and I said, "No way," and he said, "Oh, no, it's true," and I said, "Wow, you must be really strong," and he said, "Well, I work out a little bit," and I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yeah, you wanna feel my biceps?" And I said, "Sure, I do," and so I felt them, and they felt awesome.

High School Musical:

“Cause its the start of something new…”

“Once a wildcat, always a wildcat” Troy Bolton

“I always liked the idea of being in charge of my future, until it actually started happening” Troy Bolton

“Ah microwave popcorn. Haha very funny” Troy Bolton

“Hip hop is my passion. I love to pop, and lock, and jam, and break.” Martha Cox

“It’s called crime and punishment Bolton. Besides, proximity to the arts is cleansing for the soul”

“Hey you know what? Someday you guys might thank me for this, or not” MC at the game

“While we are working, let us probe the mounting evils of cell phones… perhaps the most heinous example of cell phone use is ringing in the theater. The theater is a chapel of arts, a precious cornucopia of creative energy.” Ms. Darbus

Sky High:

“What a waste. I can't do anything more to help you. I'm not Wonder Woman, you know” Principle powers

“What's embarrassing him in front of the entire class going to prove? That is so unfair” Layla  “Yeah, well if life were to suddenly get fair, I doubt it would happen in high school’ Will Stronghold

“Now I know it's just our first day, but I already can't wait to graduate and start saving mankind... And womankind. And animalkind” Layla

“There's only one person authorized to transport superheroes: Ron Wilson - Bus Driver” Ron Wilson, Bus Driver

“And now, so many years later, that plan is complete. My only regret: This may be the finest super-villian speech ever given - and you don't even know what I'm saying!” Gwen

Ultra-Niche

“See you on the flip side!” Janet Anderson

“Make it a great day, or not, the choice....... is yours.” SPMS

Vines

“A potato flew around my room”

“Do it for the vine” Rip Vine

“F*** Ya chicken strips” That guy from vine

“You’ll never be s*** duck, you’re just like your father!”

Arctictis & Binterong

“Man my banana is upset! Why’d it have to be a sacrificial lamb instead of eggs?”

“You wanna fight me and my pants???”

“So what are you up to now, besides eating awesome pie and hurting my feelings about pie?”

“I’m proud of you and your salad!”

“I can’t be your pervert beard!”

“So sexy and in need of waffles!”

“I don’t know what’s down that drain but it smells like Satan...”

“I don’t eat Pop-Tarts I’m a vegetarian!”

“For a split second I thought I saw a zucchini on the floor… It was not. It was a leaf.”

Arctictis & Binterong

*With hands on mans breasts* If you were a chicken, Costco would choose you

Like a prison wife but in real life!

Sup, dingleberries

Peeing on it would be much more assertive

“You remember that Flo Rida song?” “Yeah stop”

“God, woob should be a word. It means a flat chest.” “Why won’t Words With Friends accept woob as a word?”

They have never been pierced. I have virgin lobes.

I’d have to be married to a mom, that’s cool

You just need to find a hammer and nails and nail yourself together

That cinematography hurt my face

Stop talking about nipples, brah!

Burn the cat, punch grandma, yeahhhh!

You know it’s not fair I’m being made fun of! I’m not done making fun of old people yet!

So you can just throw up Las Vegas all over it

Down a deep dark emo hole. It took so long to get out but I’m here now.

“Oh my god you’re so rude to me!” “I’m not rude you’re just weird.”

It’s really hard to eat arugula, okay?!

It’s us manifested in jpeg form!

Life is just a constant cycle of urination

“Does he wear a black thick expensive jacket?” “No” “Ok cuz that’s what most cool boys wear.”

Our first commie president? I think we already had that. His name was Richard Nixon.

Oh I know what’s wrong with this morning! I didn’t take my morning poo. That’s why I feel so off.

You are the dumbest raisin I’ve ever met

“Does the sun ever physically harm you?” “You have arthritis!”

You remember grumpy cat? It’s like a crazy internet meme?

Arctictis & Binterong

How can a jacket turn you gay?

Mexicans--they’re just like us!

I’ve come to realize that a lot of my humor is very homoerotic

Ugh, she’s such a b-word...butt

“Why do you like my butt so much?” “Because it’s a big target!”

There’s no pores in a desk

You know those 1970s british tv show hosts? That’s what I want to be when I grow up.

The pistachio I just ate tasted JUST like a banana

You can’t litter when cement is littering the earth

So we have a fridge full of rat carcasses

Are you going to eat your leg noodle?

When your butt hurts you really feel like you’ve done something, you know?

“I’m small and greasy” “like a french fry”

I cannot pee under these conditions

Sorry to change the subject from rodent testes, but what are you up to right now?

Butter defies race

Hey girlfriend let me buy you detergent

Ah, Starbucks money. The language of love.

You look exactly like the penguin from “surfs up”

Arctictis & Binterong

“It represents the duality of man.” “Hey stop using big words you pretentious imbecile.” “Wow, that response represents the duality of man.”

Every great sentence starts with “I’m not even gay but…”

That joke was not sponsored #notsponsored!

I am a very touchy person and I am attracted to large joints

Life is not a La La Land flashback!

I'm Harry Potter with big hairy feet

You know a hot dog? You’re the opposite of that. You’re a cold dog.

We just need to show Nazis having sex. No one will have sex anymore. Population problem solved.

I don’t care if she dates him as long as she admits he’s a spy

Google how do you consume one’s trachea?

Sometimes when I run it feels like my teeth are gonna fall out

Paul Ryan? He’s so daddy.

Happy pushing vaginal day!

Your hair smells like farts and blueberry

Can we draw something savage, like “sup” in comic sans?

“It’s synchronized swimming on the floor.” “You mean dancing?”

I just wanted everyone to know that even if something as devastating as a nuclear war occurs, you could still crack open a cold one with the boys.

Tajin is a gateway seasoning to more severe addictions, such as pepper flakes and parmesan.

Murder is a good way to express your feelings!

Arctictis and Binterong

I’m a club penguin racist!

You say potato, i say stab wound.

She looked angsty, like Bella Thorne.

Donald Trump made me a Gryffindor.

That tuba is my child.

They were speaking Canadian you idiot!

I’ll drop it like it’s hot but I’m cold right now.

“How do you lose a kid?” “I don’t know ask the kid”

Did you know they sell fursuits on ebay?

Is human milk vegan?

Talk Japanese to me.

I'm not racist i like egg rolls.

He thinks he's all that and a bag of chips.

Socks are underwear for feet.

The pulp is furry.

I'm so scared of peeing when I'm dead.

The gate wall of China.

Are you bunny enrichment?

I also snotted purple.

You can't be a functioning citizen in society without knowing who honey boo boo is.

I would eat more sour patch if they didn't make me sweat so hard.

I’m not judging her for having a daddy but at least get a better daddy.

I’m beginning to wonder if it has to do with me kissing cats.

I lost my vegetarian virginity to Korean BBQ.

Does littering kill cows?

He would just be a floppy spaghetti man.

“How do I know you?” “16”

Internally I was screaming but externally eating a brownie. I was angrily eating my brownie.

You never hear about a baby being born with a knife in its hand.