#bini angst

It was a broken record that she never tired of: she dresses pretty, he picks her up, they get dinner and drinks, and he takes her back to his place. He and Aiah are so used to it at this point that he keeps telling her to stop dressing too nice but she just can't help it, she has to look good for him!

~~~

It's the most predictable thing in the world, hopping into his car and letting him rub her inner thigh as he drives. It's absolutely no surprise when he orders the steak for himself and the large poutine for the both of them to share. It's the normalest occurrence when the violin guy hovers over their table with a heart-wrenchingly beautiful melody as he admires her eyes over the candlelight. And it sure as hell isn't anything special when she offers his left arm to cling to as they walk back to his car, so much so that the wine he holds with his right arm makes its way to Aiah's instead. 

“Maganda ‘to, ah, 2020?” She looks over the label, finding a pinot noir brand she couldn't recognize. “Lalasingin mo ‘ko, pararausan, itatapon ‘pag sawa na. Alam na alam ko ‘yang mga tulad mo,” she teases.

“Kailan kita tinapon? Ang sarap lagi ng pinapakain ko sa 'yo, wala kang inaabot kundi lambing sa kama ko, hinahatid kita nang ligtas sa bahay mo tuwing linggo,” he retorts with a chuckle, counting each one on his fingers. He opens the door for her, and she plants a sweet peck on his lips before settling elegantly back into the car.

~~~

It's all the same game to her, yet she can't deny it's exhilarating every time. Her grip is tight around his back and shoulders, her pedicured nails digging into his skin as he parts her pussy lips apart for him. She moans sweetly, “Putangina, sige pa, please…” as he diligently fulfills each of her prior requests. He does everything she asks of him: in front of the mirror, against the wall, in the bathtub, but Aiah's favorite and the one that absolutely has to end each night, bareback missionary on his fluffy bed while she holds him close to kiss, to hug, to whisper her sweet nothings into his ear. 

“Tangina, ang sarap mo, Aiah, ‘di talaga ako magsasawa sa ‘yo,” he says back, and he kisses her neck gently, driving her wild. 

It's all the same game to her, and it's so easy to predict: the neck kisses come when he's close. She feels him throbbing inside her as he pounds her into the mattress, he's going faster, deeper, and she fires a prayer up to whom it may concern that he goes rougher and rougher still, until–

“Tangina, tangina, putang ina!!!” she screams loud, giving herself up in service to his pleasure. He erupts in between her velvet walls, shooting his thick and warm seed into her womb, all the while her pussy milks him for everything he's got. He shuts her up with his lips on hers, and Aiah can't help but return his love; she takes his head in her hands, locking him in her embrace. 

And once it's all over, he falls to her side to let her breathe. An arm underneath her head, a cursory “good night,” and all the warmth of the world in him are all it takes to rob her of her consciousness. As the world fades around her, he pulls her close to his chest, and the last thing she remembers, like always, is the aroma of his sweat evidencing his satisfaction with her services. 

~~~

Before she knows it, sunshine peeks in from between the drawn curtains. He's downstairs getting ready in a gorgeous casual look that never fails to take Aiah's breath away, and he's probably fixing her a platter of pandesal or a bowl of lugaw or whatever to bring to the car and have for breakfast as he drives her back home. 

Albeit a bit wobbly, she's able to make her way downstairs. Like clockwork, there he is, finishing up her meal and packing it safely for the car, and she makes her way to the sofa and rubs the sleep out her eyes. She wants to say something, but holds back because she knows the tears will follow. Her lips form the shape for the first word, but no air comes out. She repeats in her head again and again, “Pwede bang dito muna tayo?” knowing the answer will always be no, so she never tries. Why go against the program, why ruin such a good thing? 

~~~

She takes a careful bite of the hardboiled egg, and noticeably he slows down before the speed bump at the entrance to her subdivision. In no time at all they arrive outside her house, and Aiah sets her dirty dishes on the dashboard in front of her. 

“Ingat ka,” she whispers, avoiding his eyes. The usual white envelope falls onto her lap, and she hears his seatbelt unclasp and fly back taut. Not giving him a chance, she undoes her own seatbelt and hurriedly pushes her door open, leaving him behind. She runs back to her privacy, swinging open the door and shutting it nearly hard enough to break it. Aiah holds her breath in wait before finally she lets go when his engine roars to life and grows progressively quieter the farther away he gets. 

Finally, the tears fall. She buries her face in her hands and screams a scream that would end worlds, then composes herself while she wipes the liquid pain from her eyes. She opens the envelope: fifteen blue bills and a blister pack of her usual birth control. The sight rips her chest apart, and the envelope and its contents are thrown to scatter all over her foyer. Aiah crumples into a fetal position and tumbles to her side, hugging her knees and wallowing in the dread of missing him not even five minutes after they part for another month.