#bignono

It was just recently when I realized I am hoarding too much baggage of fats in my body that the straps of my bra on my back are like engraved lines in a solid plank of wood. Seriously. I have reached my quota in my maximum fat meter. Last time I weighed, I was 68 kilograms! I was 68 kilograms! I repeated that because I feel it bears repeating.

What scares me the most is the process of getting rid of it. It requires proper diet which means hasta la vista chocolates and cupcakes. Good riddance? Picture this out: imagine me craving intensely for a gram of chocolate. Upon not satisfying this, in two and a half minutes, bubbles will start to lather on the sides of my mouth and I will lose control of my limbs, convulse like an epileptic nine-year-old and pass out like a drunken college girl. In other words, this is not my kind of a good-riddance situation, get it? Seconded the proper diet is regular exercise. So my friends and I decided to hit the gym to get some help. HUGE help.

Last monday, before dusk takes its course, Lei, Eunice and I found ourselves in the wide entrance of a resort to look for the gym. It was colder than usual and I enjoyed the breeze. Aside from the coldness, I shivered for I will be in a gym for the first time! I wonder how it will look like - how I will look like in there. I’m guessing it’s between funny and pathetic. We walked towards the lobby and asked for directions. The woman sittin’ on the table said that it’s downstairs and we gotta pay 40 pesos, which was a reasonable price. There we were, braving this ultimate crusade and burn hellova fat. As we took each step, we heard the clanking of metals, chattering sounds, unrecognizable voices, inaudible words,. My chest pounded. We reached the end of the stairs and turned right when WOAH! Holy Molly! WOOOAH !! I gasped for air. Shit.

It was -  woah. Woah bad. In a split second I had a quick look of what’s inside and it was horrifying! It was so horrible that without any words, we took a step or twelve back. I almost cried; good thing I have learned to do that inside; otherwise, I am an inch close to wailing “mama!”. My insides revolted and took turns in making me want to throw up. I’m pretty sure I turned pale for a sec. It was not I was expecting; few people, ladies and men, harmless looking. This gym is in the resort so my expectations are high. I wished I was high to forget all about what would happen next.

Inside the gym were unidentified numbers of men: sweating, moaning, grunting, catching breaths, wiping beads of sweat off their faces. There were too many guys in there it radiates of masculinity and it was over-powering. Try to envision a place where so, so, so many men, boys, guys, and some gays stay to work on their body built and confidence. They were wearing fit work-out clothes, some wear no tops. Men with bulky muscles put together in one room is my horror film. It’s my Silent Hill, time stands still and faceless creatures creep in the dark. The lighting was a bit dim, which makes the ambiance more hideous. It was like a den where wild beasts compete and feast on their prey. It was like a cave where “The Croods” hide and train for hunting, only this is not cute and entertaining. Not eat-a-popcorn scene. This is eat-your-fingernails kind of moment. Don’t get me wrong. The gym itself is fine (when it’s empty, though). It was packed with good quality equipment and it’s spacious enough to cater around half-a-hundred males. It was just that I have this phobia-like of too much testosterone in the atmosphere. I am highly uncomfortable around so many males who I don’t know. I cringe every time I have to walk pass a group of guys in the hallway. It makes my skin crawl, makes my hair stand on end. It’s antagonizing! My train of thoughts is off the rails. This is not what I freakin’ signed up for! I expected few people, healthy and inviting atmosphere. This wasn’t.

Drained was all my determination. Hey, I can’t work out around these people! C'mon! We stayed at the staircase where we can’t see the gym and the gym can’t see us. This was the most rational idea at that helpless time. We hesitated and almost backed out until we ran into a girl who goes there often. She told us that aside from that purgatory which sucked half the life out of me by just looking at it, there’s a secluded area where girls can work out in peace. Thank the heavens! But before we even get there, hundreds of eyeballs followed us as we marched (like we weren’t intimidated enough). Some older guys looked like soldiers who haven’t seen a girl in a year. I was like: what are you starin’ at  douchebag? Keep punchin’ owl face!