you mentioned executive dysfunction in your tortoise post. as a fellow sufferer, wondering if you have any tips for writing. or perhaps living.
Hi friend! I will do my best!
The first thing I will suggest may or may not be accessible, so apologies if it's really not: that would be going to therapy. I love therapy. It has been the spring from which all the wisdom I've gleaned from this has flowed. But it's been internalizing it myself (the work I do outside of therapy) that has made the difference.
So, just some small (but actually big) things that have helped me.
Write it down. The thing you want to do but are struggling to do? Get yourself a planner and write it down. For me, a paper planner that sits right next to my chair and is open at all times to the week that it actually is right now, is the thing. If I have goals for the week, I will write them in on certain days. I try not to overburden myself and go overboard. I try to make these manageable things that won't make me feel like I'm just using up all my free time that I'm not spending at work working at other things I don't like. But this is also where I write down the things I really do want to do but that may be hard because of That Thing. That executive dysfunction that pops up even when I want to be doing the thing.
Check off the things you get done. I can't explain the power of a checkmark, but it helps. It's a tiny celebration and acknowledgement that you did the thing. This is crucial.
Break up big things into smaller pieces. If your goal is to write a research paper, no it's not. It's to open the document. Boom! Checkmark! The next goal is maybe to put five of the quotes you want to use into the doc. Boom! Maybe a good goal is to write 500 words on something that will eventually be 5-10k. Make your goals smaller and then celebrate them as you check them off! There really is something to the saying 'slow and steady wins the race'. It's certainly getting there quicker than not doing anything at all.
Perfectionism sucks. Abandon it. Excellence is good. But so is 'good enough'. Sometimes doing something badly for the time being is actually good enough. Want to write a novel? Give yourself permission to write a bad one. That's how you get one written at all honestly.
I keep track of my word count in my planner first and foremost, and then I plug those numbers into the Get Your Words Out (@gywo) excel spreadsheet. It helps to SEE your progress and to track it. It shows you it can be done and YOU are the one who's doing it. Proof that you can do the thing is awesome!
If the thing is cleaning, for fuck's sake put some music on! And then just clean This Table Right Here. Don't set out to do the whole room. Do this corner. When you've done that corner, celebrate with a little dance or a fist pump and then pick a different corner. Take a break and do one of the other things on your list, like writing 200 words of fanfiction. Make a cup of tea.
Have grace with yourself. You are human. This is hard. Developing healthy habits takes time. You will make mistakes. You will backtrack into unhealthy behavior patters. But you will also get better at recognizing them, at seeing yourself do it, and then getting yourself back to where you want to be instead. Grace. Extend it to yourself like you would to someone you love very dearly and gently and sweetly. Become, slowly, the person you feel most like that about.
These are the ways I know. Others will have their own ways to share and I welcome anyone to do that here! I hope this helps. Give it a little practice and a little time. Take small steps. Celebrate each little thing. Be curious about this process rather than beating yourself up. This is not easy stuff. But working on it and through it is worth it.
Much love to you in this and all things! <3
