Spiders
Alright, so I’m not afraid of many things. BUT. Nothing will turn me into a bigger baby than a spider. The only spiders that DON’T freak me out are the ones that are smaller than a pea. ANYWAYS. So, yesterday I was home alone. I was sitting at the kitchen table working on something on my parent’s computer. I glanced up to see something large on the hose of the vacuum that was about 12 feet away from me. I thought it was some sort of grasshopper or something that got in the house. That didn’t bother me, but I got up to see if I could catch it to put it back outside. As I get closer, I realize it is SO not a grasshopper. It was a damn spider. A rather LARGE spider. I am not exaggerating. This thing was larger than a half dollar. Just it’s thorax was larger than a penny. So here I am, alone, and have no idea what to do. I call my sister. I tell her “There is a HUGE fucking spider”. She laughed and said “I’m not driving all the way home just for a stupid spider”. I’m still freaking out and so she says “Videochat me the stupid spider”. So I swap over to a video call. She at least admitted that I wasn’t exaggerating. In the end I killed it with aerosolized glass cleaner and a flip flop. What kind of spider was it? I’m pretty sure it was a wolf spider (Of which, yes I AM aware are practically harmless [nonetheless they freak me out]). If it was a wolf spider, they jump. I SWEAR if that shit would have jumped at me, I would have yelled profanities so loud that the ENTIRE world would have heard and been aware, hell the folks on the ISS would have heard me. So yes, I am all big and bad until a spider pops up. Then, I turn into an absolute baby.
[EDIT]: I am also very aware that sound doesn’t travel in space, so no one needs to explain that to me.
