#big yeah

good morning mana! well yesterday's obsession and even today's obsession is katyar kaljat ghusli, you already know what i did yesterday night lmaoooo

i woke up today morning and chose violence. just cried twice watching aruni kirani YAAR i just disintegrated matlab khansaab is literally holding the katyar mid -air to strike and my mans literally goes into a trance and forgets entirely and just is taken back and is enjoying sadashiv singing, i can do a whole rant on just aruni kirani please

i also then cried over how music, art and drama has been that treasure that has been passed over generations and at the very core of what we value deep down as a society and how the markers of different eras in india are through the music that was sung, through the styles and waves in, like one day i was randomly and very casually playing ghei chhand on the laptop while doing my homework a year ago or maybe earlier and my grandfather (hadnt watched katyar then) recognized the song instantly and went i used to sing that in college and perform on that. and in that moment you know it takes you back and it hits you and gives you perspective how certain things dont lose their purity and just i dont know makes me feel very warm

you know i remember once deliriously and stupidly saying i dont mind going back to the earlier years like take me back decades if not centuries ago. yeah it was a terrible time politically and we didnt have rights but well, we had better art and music because that was the only way of free expression

oh and i remember reading a few years back as soon as i'd watched the movie the two moods that the song ghei chhand has been sung in. they're looking at the same act of the honeybee extracting nectar from the flower, but they both see it so differently. when panditji sings the song, the mood is mellow and compassionate for the bee, he sings with a flow, takes you into a trance, whereas khansaab sings the same song with precision and attention to every alaap and tarana, and he's almost happy that the bee is entrapped in the flower

घेई छंद मकरंद, प्रिय हा मिलिंद

मधुसेवनानंद स्वच्छंद, हा धुंद

मिटता कमलदल होई बंदी हा भृंग;

परि सोडिना ध्यास, गुंजनात दंग

Takes fervently floral nectar, this dear honeybee,

Joy of ingesting honey headstrong, this buzz.

As lotus petals close, this bee becomes captive.

Yet won’t release focus, engrossed in buzzing.