#bicci

gladly :3

firstly you pretty much nailed the vision in your tags in how this dynamic does not just come from jimmy and lister's preferences but is informed by their hangups with each other and lack of communication.

firstly, far from making things easier between them i do think whether he's topping or bottoming it takes jimmy a while to get comfortable enough to ask for what he wants from lister. it takes a lot for both of them to go from just... acting on impulse with each other to Actually Talking about what they like in the bedroom.

though it's not much of a conversation, in the end. if jimmy asks for something from lister, lister is going to be eager to do it, even if jimmy isn't offering him anything in return.

and when i say selfish pillow princess, i mean SELFISH. it gets complicated with jimmy's control issues - i think he would find it exciting to give up control completely with lister - but on some level he's still got lister wrapped round his finger. and lister is...really into it, i think, even if the lack of reciprocity can sometimes be frustrating for him in the moment. plays a lot into the worry that jimmy is using him, just like his previous partners, but the thought of jimmy using him also turns him on.

to be clear, in any arrangement for bicci, i don't think their preferences align 100%. it's always a mess of give and take and negotiation (once in a blue moon when they decide to communicate) and trying to navigate around each other's trauma. you can imagine that jimmy is really On It with the aftercare in this version of their relationship, or maybe he just gets head then leaves. or maybe he oscillates, trying to keep lister at arm's length so he doesn't lead him on while also trying to stay the idea that he's just using lister for sex. he's never completely blind to how he's inadvertently playing into lister's insecurities, but he also doesn't want to look at it, because it makes him feel like shit.

hehe yippee so what sparked them was a video of Hayley performing Parachute and the second verse “you told me you waited for me, you said that you won / asked me on a plane from rio, do i ever think of us? / and you were at my wedding, i was broken you were drunk / you could’ve told me not to do it, I would’ve run, I would’ve run / tell me what was the moment you decided to give up? / you could’ve told me what you wanted, I would’ve done, I would’ve done / anything, I would’ve done anything” as Lister’s perspective of Jimmy attending Lister’s wedding, maybe after said marriage has fallen apart, maybe he’s gotten back with Jimmy since but it’s still not what either of them want. The chorus “I thought you were gonna catch me / I never stopped falling for you” is also very Lister yearning for Jimmy for 15+ years (assuming they’re at least late 20s in this scenario).

And while we’re still on songs, Hayley sang a few lines of Silver Springs durning Good Ol Days which. ough. But additionally even without the Fleetwood Mac I loveee thinking about Lister/bicci to this song “when I was secret, you kept me / skinny divorcé, do you regret me? / I’m thinking maybe / should we go back? stay friends? / keep all the benefits? we could sneak around like we’re on tour / even if that’s all you want me for / you could call me miss paramour” Lister should get married and cheat on his spouse with Jimmy and then get divorced and the divorce should be public and messy🙂‍↕️. I loveee Lister being stuck on how their relationship was in the album cycle after The Ark’s hiatus and they’re kind of in this lovey phase where they’re trying to make a Relationship work between them and they’re sneaking around on tour, hooking up in bathrooms and green rooms, etc etc. And of course they weren’t perfect then either but it’s the nostalgia factor of being at the peak of their careers (within the band, at least), being the mentally and physically healthiest they’ve ever been while on tour (the bar is low but it still makes them feel on top of the world because they’re like. eating, sleeping, not getting wasted every night, so on and so forth). The chorus is also very fitting but I don’t want to type out the whole song lol.

I also love the first verse of Hard “the way you held my face, I swear I softened / for the very first time in my life / fist unclenched and my jaw started dropping / we kissed quick before you pulled me inside / the next morning, I looked in the mirror / saw a woman I had never met / she looked hopeful, even sort of pitiful / like she forgot nothing is a given” 1. Genderqueer Lister is real and true, 2. Even with all of their problems Lister’s relationship with Jimmy is still the best relationship Lister has ever had and the first time he’s felt really safe with someone enough to start to let his guard down.

Now, in Berlin last week Hayley wore a dress with a bloodstain reminiscent of being shot through the heart and that gave me the thought of when he’s touring his solo work, Lister wearing something on stage with a bloodstain on his side where the scar from his stab wound is. This is also very fun to me if the public has never found out about the specifics of Lister’s injuries so he just kind of does it for himself.

It definitely starts as a competition to see who can embarrass the other one more. Lister pulls out the most stupid, made up pet names in front of other people, like if Jimmy asks him to grab something he'll go "sure thing honey bun sweet pea xx" and Jimmy utterly despises him for it. Jimmy tries to get his pay back but it always fails because he feels too awkward with it.

Then after a while it falls off, but Lister keeps up with shorter names like "hun" or "dear", which he does jokingly, but it reminds Jimmy of his grandparents and how they were, which really is his only perspective of a healthy relationship. So he subconsciously associates these pet names with warmth and love and happiness, which is why he doesn't stop Lister from using them. And I think Lister would catch on pretty quickly, so he doesn't stop, but he doesn't use them all the time, because he still finds it kind of silly.

From Jimmy's side, I can really only see him using pet names when either of them are super tired, or sick, basically when he doesn't have the energy to feel awkward about it. He has the weird perspective of being raised by loving grandparents who openly loved each other, but also having parents who did the opposite and he NEVER saw love between them. So he rarely uses pet names, but when he does he means it in a truly sweet way!! Like I can picture him half asleep calling Lister "love", or jokingly call him "babe".