#bibliofran

The problem you have with super-static sounds familiar. I have to be careful petting one of my cats because we'll zap my leg and his toes if he kneads while standing on my lap. We've found that keeping one hand on the cat at all times, as close to skin-to-skin contact as possible, helps keep us grounded relative to one another. Basically, the current flows smoothly instead of arcing. I can pet with one hand as long as the other is scratching or just resting against him.

Oh, I’ll try that out! I’m a very staticky person in general so I wish we had something like a grounding bracelet that didn’t have to be...well, grounded, but alas. I’ve just resigned myself to always getting a shock when touching anything metal from roughly November to May. 

rsfcommonplace replied to your post “Hi Sam! I was curious, and hope it's okay to ask -- do your Cryptids...”

The only cats I have ever met who liked to butt their heads under people's chins for comfort were bottle babies who were orphaned very very young. We had one named Mononucleosis who was so tiny the entire cat fit on you neck for the first few weeks, and he head, chin, neck-butted his whole life.

I’ve known some former strays who would do it, and the cryptids would sit on my shoulder or chest when they were little, but I think they just sort of grew out of it. also “Mono” is a great name for a cat! :D 

cassiesinsanity replied to your photo “Polk has surrendered to the powerful seduction of the...”

I have those sheets! Or had. Like 15 years ago? They're part of the drop cloth collection in the basement now.

Yep, sounds about right -- I inherited it as part of my “starter home” sheets when I went to college, which was closer to 25 years ago than 15 but I imagine they were a pretty standby pattern in the 90s. 

One of my cats has a little stuffed toy shaped like a possum, with a bell inside it. Once or twice a day, she will find it and carry it close to where we are. She chirps and trills and raises a fuss while doing it. She never brings it directly to us – she’ll drop it in the same room or in the hall outside instead, then ignore it. If we pick up the toy and move it slightly, she’s more likely to bring it to another room again later. We have no idea why she does this!

398.

“Mmph?” 

“It is Valentine’s day, Clint.” 

Clint attempted to unstick his eyelashes, shuffled his legs up so he was almost kneeling, considered shifting his face away from the pillow and then dismissed the idea. 

“Tony?” 

“I can hear the question, why is there a question? Like you don’t live for my dulcet tones in your -” 

“It’s four in the fuckin’ morning, Tony, what’n the hell’re you -” 

“Okay first, it’s ten, and I don’t want to know what you were doing last night unless pictures are likely to surface. Second, it’s Valentine’s day, and instead of snuggling up to my boo I’ve been called down to security -” 

“How is that my -”

“- because your boyfriend is deeply inappropriate and possibly insane.”

“Boyfriend?” Clint kinda flinched at the word, hard enough that he was scooted forward, further up the bed, hard enough that his skull made noisy contact with the headboard. “Woah, who said boyfriend? I didn’t say boyfriend. Did he say boyfriend?” 

“Oh this is just - this is sad,” Tony said. 

“No, seriously, Tony, did he - ‘cos you shouldn’t just go throwing words like that around, okay?” Mostly Clint had got through this - whatever it was - by not thinking about it too hard. Like if he handled the thought too much he’d smudge it, somehow screw it up. 

“Get down here,” Tony said. 

Clint shuffled out of bed. He stepped into his sneakers, figured the reception staff had seen him in weirder get-ups than the shirt and sweatpants he’d slept in, ran a hand through his hair and squeezed some toothpaste onto his tongue. If he had any say in this he was getting straight back into bed when they were through, so that was as much effort as he was willing to put in. 

“ - sorry, Mr Stark,” someone was saying when Clint pushed open the door to internal security; someone fairly important by the sharp creases in their suit. “Obviously cakes don’t usually have bloodstains, so my crew wanted to be sure -” 

“It’s fine,” Tony said, flapping a hand at them absently. He squinted up at Clint, then gestured at the cake that was sitting in a box on the table. “Seriously?” he said. “This is your type?” 

The cake was in the shape of an anatomical heart, colored like it’d been bled dry with stark red veins scrawled over the surface. Piercing it, at an angle, was one of Clint’s arrows, purple-fletched, and there was dark icing blood spatter covering the baked pillow. 

It was a little terrifying, and a little beautiful, and somehow exactly fuckin’ right. He had no idea what the hell his face was doing, but something in Tony’s expression softened. 

Thanks for sharing!!

They're not naked Sam! It's still the weekend.

It’s their punishment for pulling off their collars while I was on vacation :D I came home and BOTH of them were naked! 

bibliofran replied to your photo “MY HEART [Description: Dearborn is stretched out on the blanket, and...”

"How do I even survive life with these two." How could you possibly survive without them?!

I worry about this a lot.

cameoappearance replied to your post “shinyblackbird replied to your photo “Have you ever known a con to...”

Absolutely Mothman, are you kidding. Softest cryptid.

See, I can only ever think of the Mothman in its original description as a giant birdlike thing with glowing eyes. 

col1999 replied to your post “Watching Battlebots with my Parents”

I want to hang out with your folks! (Battlebots is awesome, btw, but it needs less talking and more bots battling)

This is the opinion of my parents as well! They hate the part where the drivers are interviewed. I do think they should keep the guy who does the puns though.

That sounds like a very useful app! Do you mind sharing the name?

Oh sure! It’s a little confusing because the app itself calls itself eCrumb (like a trail of breadcrumbs) but the name in the Apple/Gplay store is Road ID, which is the company that makes it. So if you search eCrumb, an app called Road ID will come up top of the list; that’s the one you want. 

It has some nice functionality -- you can set it to send either standard (”Follow me on my run!”) messages or custom ones (”Going to Trader Joe’s!”), and it can send emails or texts to up to five people. It also has a “Stationary Alert” function, which is if you’re in the same place for more than 5 minutes it plays a little alarm, and if you don’t respond to the alarm it messages your contact that you may be injured. I have that turned off since sometimes I pull off to send a text or something, but it’s nice it’s there. The only thing I don’t like is that you HAVE to set a “Duration” -- basically the length of your activity -- and it sounds an alarm at the end of it. I just bypass that by always setting it for like 40 minutes, since usually my rides are 20 or less. 

I also really like that it emails me a summary of my ride, so I can see my distance and speed and such. 

spaci1701 replied to your post “Ah, yes. Morning. Time to begin the multi stage process known as...”

Would it be weird to install a mini freezer next to my bed just for morning ice packs?

I mean, at my last job when I was located literally at the farthest point from the kitchen, I considered putting one in my cubicle just to have easy access to cold drinks :D 

levynite replied to your post “Ah, yes. Morning. Time to begin the multi stage process known as...”

body: crickle crackle motherfucker

Jointzapoppin, for real. 

janedrewfinally replied to your post “Ah, yes. Morning. Time to begin the multi stage process known as...”

An even more complicated process when accompanied by cats...