we never know what he did w cuocuo. either i forgot how to read in english or my brain was flooded in chemistry (trust, i forget english 80% of my waking time).

my guess is mu qing might have tried to help jian lan w her potential miscarriage— and then they both die.

mu qing might have been the person to bury jian lan and cuocuo, and then keep their ashes. how else have they survived as ghosts if they were normal ghosts? (except cuocuo) whenever jian lan is questioned in the heavenly court, mu qing becomes very elusive?? like he is full on feng xin hater in the hours jian lan was around.

i swear this fandom acts like jian lan doesn't fucking exist because it threatens fengqing 💔

like what if i told u i ship mu qing and jian lan more 💔 will be i excommicated?

nah girl idgaf if yall excomminicate me 🫦🫦🫦

like bro im literally a xianle quartet shipper, i cant say shit man

for a while, i was like : who tf is headcanon shipped w xie lian? who tf is extra large getting shipped w hua cheng?

GAWD DONT GET ME STARTED

my gender may be vv gendered soon

i wrote in my fic nieyao and i realized i dont ship it. how to fix huhu. im not a ship hater, but my noggin cannot wholly fathom as to why two men compelled to murder each other may wanna smooch. i dont understand nmj's motivations or lxc's. im screwed.

screaming cos the book only showed mostly wangxian, which is like fine cos PROTAGONIST but i wanna see more of the side characters that also form the novel's world

i just wanted to write a fic where a-yao is treated well BUT obviously i fucked up and now im too embarrassed to rewrite it.

i just wanted a fic where my pookies (meng yao and wen qing) become friends 😭😭 and they have good times with their siblings

like my friends already heard me yap abt it and i feel bad for doing so (they dont gaf, they love me, and i love them for it).

but like dude id rather risk getting rejected than die w unspoken words. but speaking is a bitch.

( i dont repost it dw.)

i had a fight w my twin when we were like 13 and she fucking deleted thousands of my pjo fanart collection.

i cried so hard. it wasn't backed up. now i have to socialize on events bc my gallery was empty

i cant be caught daydreaming abt gay men kissing and fumble my exams.

guys i may be entering my desperation era and i stopped writing romance bc it made me jealous 😭😭😭

how do i face my friends knowing im in my desperate era 😭😭 like im cool and mysterious and level headed. how the fuck are neurotransmitters firing in my brain supposed to be LOVE? it dont add up to me like so i can chemically create affection like how does that work bro

and my classmates know my socials now except tumblr 😭😭 i cannot be goofy silly now

i swear i will have a 4.0 gpa this sem. i swear it i swear it i swear it. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🧿

will that make me have a lovelife?

no.

i feel very gendered. i am a handsome man. the sad part is my chest is too big 😭😭 so i feel like i just turned into a hyperfemme hua cheng 🤭🤭🤭🎀

also why the necklace kinda damaged BUT i can fix it bc it's small.

god pls let me have a xie lian stat bc im sick of being single 😭 the urge to sweep someone off their feet is strong but i feel like i have commitment issues 😭😭

me gaslighting myself: yOurE nOt AcE, yOu proBabLy jUst hAvenT fOunD tHe RigHt OnE

alas, there is more to life than questioning my sexual identity and gender so i am going to go outside and go to school