When you open it, you're greeted by two sharply dressed strangers—one tipping a dark cowboy hat with a grin, the other standing tall with immaculate blonde pin curls that somehow defy the breeze. “Hi there,” one of them says. “We’re with the Bleeding Hearts Town Census. Got a moment?”
** It’s meme day, baby!Â
This is an optional ask meme event, styled like a good old-fashioned census, that will last through the rest of Thursday and all of Friday (4/18).
Under the read more, you’ll find thirty different...."census" questions, all numbered.
Like this post if you'd like to participate—doing so makes your character(s) fair game for others to send you numbered questions based on the list. Just make sure your ask box is open, and let the wildly personal small-town surveys begin!
Do you have raccoons living under your porch? And if so, how many are too many for you to handle?
When was the last time you gathered wildflowers? Tell us about the flower variety when you gathered them.
What are your opinions on the Goddess? If she whispered, would you listen?
Who in town would you absolutely NOT trust with your bulletin board request?
What is your unofficial job in a crisis? (i.e. do you help put out fires? Or hand out candles during thunderstorms?)
In your HONEST opinion… Does the train actually go anywhere?
Who would you trust to fight a bear for you? Who would you send in as bait?
Have you ever strolled the cemetery late at night? What horrors have you seen? What horrors have seen you?
Do you think you could win in a fight against Dick Scammahorn? Follow-up, how bad would it hurt if you lost?
Which location in town do you think has the weirdest vibe?
Do you consider jam as a form of currency? If not, what substance would you accept, fancy britches?
Ever get the feeling the Springs water is… watching you? Do you ever wave back?
Do you have a library card? Do you need help applying for one?
If someone handed you an ancient ring, would you wear it or pawn it off to a city slicker?
What was the last record you bought at Honky Tonk? If it wasn’t Rumors by Fleetwood Mac, why not?
Have you ever heard whispering in the library basement? Do you still owe it something?
What’s your go-to order at Granny’s? Or are you too good for her food, fancy pants?
If a raccoon in a tiny hat offered you a quest behind Happy Apple, would you accept?
What’s one piece of gossip you’re sittin’ on? Real or not! Really, anything. Please.
Have you ever fake-laughed at one of Granny’s jokes? Do you regret it?
Do you think Miss Fortune, the oracle of Goddess Tellings, can really predict the future? Do you think she can predict the gas mileage on her truck parked behind the studio?
Do you know that plant that keeps watching you? Have you apologized to it?
Be honest– did you start the storm by saying “it looks nice out!” out loud?Â
What kind of events would you like to see around Bleeding Hearts Springs? You gonna organize them yourself, fancy hat?
Do you think the raccoons are unionized? Should we be worried?
What secret ingredient do you think is in Granny’s famous stew?
Did you hear the rumor that Birchwood Inn is haunted? If not, there’s a rumor Birchwood Inn is haunted. If so, what do you think is haunting Birchwood Inn?
What’s a weirdly hyper-specific job idea you’re convinced the town needs?
Has the Goddess ever given you a sign that was a little too vague to be helpful? Please rank it against the average fortune cookie.
How many farm animals do you have on your property? Would you like one?
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Anyone else catch that first dance between Josie and Ryland? Or were you all too distracted by Frankie and Tanny?
HOO-WEE!
Now, ain't that sure oh, so interestin'? My eyes were set on the Buchanan's doin' their usual dance, but eagle eyes over here caught somethin' others may have missed with Miss Josie Sutton and Ryland Jennings, dancin' their hearts out!
I sure hate to gossip... but, I'm sure Laurie Sutton won't be all too pleased to hear that his darlin' baby sister is dancin' with a man older than all their siblin's!
This just in! Honky Tonk Records is now up and running! They’re a music shop selling records, cd's, and cassettes, along with a bi-monthly open-mic, and I’m thinkin’ it might be a real hot-spot for the neighbors.
Blurb: For our music lovin' folks here in the Springs, there's nowhere better than Honky Tonk Records to get their fix. With milkcrates full of vintage records, shelves of cd's lining the walls, and a handful of cassette tapes at the register, you can always find the right song to move and groove to, or to be able to mellow out with something a little more slow-paced. Every other Thursday of the month after the shop closes, Honkey Tonk hosts a town's open-mic night, where locals can brave the small crowd to pluck at their guitars and croon out some tunes.
This might sound too wild to be true, but I swear Alaina Birchwood is possessed. I saw her wandering around the woods at night, barefoot in a white dress, wailing and getting her feet all dirty and looking SERIOUSLY like a floating spirit. Like, I think she was actually floating. Someone's gotta do something about this.
HOO-WEE!!!
Now, now, now, I ain't one for CONJECTURE, only cold hard facts settle well with me. But this? Miss Alaina Birchwood, hauntin' them there woods and floatin' like somethin' straight outta a horror film? That I best know with all of soul.
Some people are haunted by ghosts, demons, memories, what-could-have-been's. But, there's very few who are the haunting. This ain't the first we've heard of Miss Laney bein'...an odd duck. Yeah, let's say it like that. Rumor has it she didn't say a single word until she got to secondary school. Some people claim they see her floatin' head in their dreams, only to wake up to find she left somethin' on their porch. Hell, I've heard some folks at the Fishin' Post blamin' her on days they ain't gettin' any bites, like she's some kind of an angry deity.
Miss Laney is a hauntin' of a woman, but we gotta ask ourselves.. what can we do when it's just her spirit? If we try to interfere, would she smite us, release some kinda hell upon us? Or, would we just have a young woman tied to a tree as we have Pastor Tanaka flick some water at her face?
I heard that Molly and Metzli may have been smoochin'? Seen them right by Jumpin' Beans!
NOW HOLD ON THERE!
You talkin' 'bout that lil' mousy librarian and that quiet one with orange goo stuck to their porch? Mackin' in front of the good ol' folks tryin' to sip on their coffees and what have you? HOO-WEE, looks like we got ourselves a good ol' fashion romance brewin' here in the Springs! Lord knows I love to hear it!
Are weddin' bells ringin' for the pair already with that there public display of affection? Or, is this just some kind of fleetin', uh...what's that word? Fling? Is that what the young-ins 'round town call it still?
Funny, though...Miss Molly Hiatt's been 'round here for a coupla years and I ain't ever heard of her battin' her eyelashes at anyone...and come to think of it, didn't I hear somethin' 'bout that Metzli Bernal gettin' the moves put on them by Val Estrada?
Now, I sure hate speculatin' sometimes, but I'm sure this whole thing ain't gonna cause any drama 'round these parts!
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I was walking past the Uehara residence the other day and I think I saw the van outside... shaking? I don't know what's going on in there but I hope everyone is okay...
OH, BLESS IT!
My heart just about leapt out my chest readin' that!
That poor Uehara boy, all cooped up in that little van… I mean, I knew he was makin' do, but I didn’t think he was rattlin' around like a can in a storm drain! You don’t think he’s got mice in there, do you? Or worse—is he mournin’ that poor grandmother of his, all by his lonesome?! Oh, bless him, I do hope he wasn’t havin’ some sort of breakdown!
Now I do believe in mindin’ your own, but I also believe in checkin’ on your neighbors. We are a community! A web of hands, reachin' out and liftin' up! Th’next time you find yourself passin’ by the Uehara's road and that van’s a-rockin’, you got my full blessing to go knock and check on him. He could be havin’ a spell! Or a fit! Oh, that poor, sweet dear.
I hear that new vet tech, Val? I hear she won't treat your animal if she thinks you're ugly.
HOO-WEE!!!
Now, ain't that a kicker? One of our newest city-slickers-turned-country, Val, is tryin' to pull a fast one here on us in the Springs! Did I hear that, right? Turnin' people's poor, innocent creatures away if your face don't fit that golden ratio up in her noggin? Here I thought that kinda drama only happened at the Stag during Happy Hour.
Lucky for me, this ol' face didn't get rejected when I brought my sweet cockatoo Gizzard in for a lil' maintenance but the rest of y'all may need to learn how to spay your fluffy friends if that's the case.
Come to think of it...that seems awful silly, don't it? She ain't been 'round these parts for long, but she seems a lil' too straight laced for some kinda nonsense like refusin' service for your unfortunate face, but you never know a person's character until they let you in.
None of that playground nonsense 'round here, sugarplum—this ain't recess, this is journalism! We deal in facts, eyewitness accounts, and... maybe just a touch of some well-seasoned speculation. Now, nobody on this side of the Springs would deny the Suttons and Buchanans are closer than biscuits and gravy… but are you tellin’ me they might be getting cozy in a whole new way?
C'mere, sugar, keep your voice down... Was it behind the Pure Valley plot? Over by the Apiary’s honeyhouses? Or—land sakes!—was it somewhere real private, like the Old Mill or out in the forest?!
You know we can't print nothin’ we didn’t hear with our own two ears... so c’mon, sugar, don’t you dare keep the Springs waitin’!
