#bhryn

It's been a long time coming, but I think almost anyone who had been close to me has known this was going to turn up one day. And hey, I had a good long run. I never finished Endwalker. I got to around level 77? I think? And I just... didn't feel it anymore. I told myself I'd go back when my interest picked up. It never did. I instead became a lot more invested in other things, and took a huge break from everything to try dealing with my declining health. To that end; thank you, for all the wonderful friends I made on FFXIV, for the fun times we had. But it's time I moved on. I have no immediate or long term plans to return to FFXIV, and I wish everyone who still plays a great, fun time with the game going forward. I won't say for certain that I'm leaving, but I know for now, it's far back on the shelf for me. A large part in this is my decline in health. I'm currently bedbound - I wasn't a couple of years ago, but times change! You just have to roll with the punches. One of these is having a frankly rubbish laptop that wheezes when I play Content Warning and Lethal Company. I dread to think how on fire it would be if I tried even loading the FFXIV benchmark! I also made the choice to get a Steamdeck rather than a new laptop. This laptop still runs my art programmes and lets me write and talk to friends, so I don't need the upgrade badly (I say, side-eyeing the loud and grating noises it keeps making on waking up from sleep with nervousness). The other big punch is the worsening of my hands. Years ago I mentioned to my friends and followers that my EDS was never going to settle for just being a pain in my hip, knees, neck... any joint basically. EDS was always going to be a slow progression. I fought hard against it, and I'm still fighting! To the best of my abilities! But there came a point when finishing off a piece of work for a client, that I realised I simply didn't have the physical stamina or the dexterity in my hands/fingers to do long term brief work anymore. This loss of skillful motion has affected me playing games. I used to joke about having 'old lady reflexes' but honestly, I really do have them now! So I stripped back artwork to be 'just for me, just for fun'. The same for games. Anything that I cannot play well on a controller? Not worth it. I can play Ninja in ffxiv on a controller, but we come back to my Craptop Self Immolating if I tried. So what happens now to me? Now, I try and relax best I can (I caught the Rona four weeks ago, I'm still sore throat and itching in my chest/wheezing/terrible crackling in my chest) and work on my surroundings to give myself the best chance going forward to improve my life. This tumblr, when I made it, it was for me to play my FFXIV character. I have a couple of choices open to me, but I think I would like to change it completely over to an art and writing blog, just in general. To do that, I would have to go and take my username from my old blog and put it on this one. OR, I let this stay as an idle blog and dust off my old tumblr and move ahead with that. I'm still undecided! But, whatever I choose, I want you to remember; You're great. Be kind, do kind things, leave the world better than how you found it. You got this. You always did. With love; Me xxx