#bgumi

I was just self-indulgently writing about them and I realized I had accidentally written 3000 words. They are so fun to write. This doesn't really have any cohesive narrative really, I was just writing it for fun myself so it's a bit wonky, but there's not enough bgumi stuff, so if you're interested, uh, here?

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Seisho Music Academy was bustling. After all the preparations for the annual-and 100th-Seisho Festival had just begun. Seisho was known as a school for the most elite performers to study and go on to become famous actresses. Often overlooked was Group B. 30 students carefully selected to attend just like the performers, and they studied stagecraft. 

Many of her classmates were busy organizing materials and plans for their second production of Starlight, they might even begin creating some references or general set pieces. Meanwhile, amidst the clamor Shion Amemiya was sitting alone in a vacated classroom. Her job, once again, was to write the script. She knew this was coming. Ever since last year when she had been selected out of the class applicants to write for their 99th Seisho Festival she knew it was likely she would be nominated again. She sat at a table cluttered with notes and discarded ideas. Next to her was her copy of The Starlight Gatherer, which she had poured over countless times, indicated by the many creases and veritable rainbow of tabs and notes she had left herself. She loved her work. She was proud of it. But still the pressure she felt was overwhelming. Before anything else could proceed she needed to finalize the script, and with having to adapt such a story, it was almost harder than writing something original. Last year she had felt the weight of expectations after having been chosen to write the script. She had hoped that after a year of practice she would be more confident, but alas that wasn’t the case. Even though it had been a year it felt like barely any time had passed. Had she really grown? Now she had to one-up herself as well… No matter how much she tried she just couldn’t think of what to write. So she grabbed her essentials and changed location.

Seisho had multiple stages. Today the main stage was being used for the actors to rehearse, and most of the workshops were busy with Group B organizing tech. But that left a smaller theatre vacant. In fact this theatre was rarely used, except for some smaller events. As such it was almost always free and had become Amemiya’s favorite spot. Being on stage helped her focus much more, whenever she was stuck this was her hideaway. Slowly but surely, under the dim glow of the work lights she began to write. It was rough coming up with ideas, but there had been parts of the last show that she wasn’t happy with. More than anyone else she noticed those incongruities. She didn’t have to write anything grand and spectacular, she just had to find those moments that she was discontent with and try something new. The load slowly felt lighter and her pencil felt freer. As time slipped out of her awareness, and the scratch of pencil and turn of paper became a rhythm she felt herself find a groove. She enjoyed trying to solve problems and figure out how elements could fit into a performance, but these moments where she felt free to truly weave a story carried her along. She was able to create something that would be made real and then shown to an audience. It was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. The hours began to pass by and Amemiya was only roused by the tap of a hand on her shoulder. It was Masai.

Masai was the only person who was able to find Amemiya here. This location was a secret between the two of them; in fact it was part of the reason they first became close. The two of them had met here by chance, during their first year. Amemiya was overwhelmed and had sought refuge; they had been working on set building which was her worst field. The noises of the power tools were just too overwhelming. Soon afterwards Masai stumbled in. She had told Amemiya that she was just taking a breather as well, but Amemiya knew she had come to check on her. The two of them sat there together for a while. Of course when they returned they were both punished for shirking their duties. But at a time when Amemiya was overwhelmed and unsure if she could keep going, feeling alone, Masai had helped her. “Hello” Masai greeted her in a soft voice. Amemiya put down her pencil and turned to face her. “Hello, what time is it?”

Masai wore a knowing grin, “It’s already 9 and we are supposed to be closing down. I thought I’d find you here”

“Ah thanks, I guess I lost track of time again”

“It seems like it.” It was a playful jest that the two were used to. Masai would often be the one to come find Amemiya as she often got absorbed in her writing. “What did you write?” Masai asked.

“I think I have about everything up until the second star festival figured out. Plus a few ideas I’d like to ask group B about”

“You’re hard working as ever. Let’s head back for now.”

The two of them had been assigned to share a room for their second year. Usually the dorms didn’t change so it was a welcome surprise. As they headed back Masai told Amemiya about the progress with each department. It was nothing incredible or alarming, but it was fun talking between the two of them. As they got back to their room and got the chance to be alone Amemiya could see the exhaustion on Masai’s face. She had been chosen to be the director, but it meant she had a lot to do, and couldn’t show her faults. Amemiya wanted to give Masai a chance to relax, and so she listened as Masai got everything off her chest. The two spent a while that night talking, and ranting, truly the beginning of work on the festival was a tumultuous time.

Progress proceeded slowly, but surely, and before they knew it the script had been submitted and the time for auditions would begin. After Amemiya managed to finally finish the script she, Masai, and most of the designers took some time to celebrate (and inevitably talk about ideas for the show). It was fun, and afterwards Amemiya and Masai had cake. While the script had been written auditions were coming up and that was often the hardest time for Masai. Inevitably every year no matter the cast there would be complaints. So although she was done writing Amemiya would now shift to giving assistance wherever it was needed, although particularly supporting Masai and the stage managers. This year they decided to hold multiple rounds of auditions in hopes that this could help provide a better overall idea for the cast and allow the actors and tech chances to improve. Amemiya had hoped that this would also reduce the conflict since auditions weren’t final yet, but of course it soon reared its head. Kaoruko Hanayagi came barging in to complain. Last year she had been cast as one of the goddesses, but this year she hadn’t. “This is the first time I’ve lost out on a lead role in any production” Kaoruko started after suddenly bursting open the door. She was angry, and stared demandingly directly at Masai. “So, if I’m not playing a lead, just what am I doing?!”. Masai was trying to show a calm face and hoping to think of a response to ease the situation. But these were the situations she was worst at. Amemiya was frustrated. Frustrated not only that Masai had to have this happen - being unfairly lashed out at - but that she ultimately couldn’t help. She knew she wasn’t cut out to be the director. Masai was able to keep calm and unite everyone, she simply didn’t have that. She felt helpless. Even still, even still, in this moment she could see Masai struggling, and she wanted to do whatever she could. “I’m going to be blunt. In this next Starlight there is no place for you at all…” Her brain was moments behind what she was saying. Only after it had been spoken did she really understand what she said. It was harsh. But at least it would put a clean end to the situation. Right now at least a larger confrontation had been avoided. Still… Amemiya wanted to apologize later. Her words had been sharp and painful, it wasn’t what she had wanted to say, but it was all she managed.

Later that day they both found themselves in the forgotten theatre. They would both go there whenever they needed an escape, and the other always seemed to know. Today Masai was there first. She had turned on the light board and was lying down staring up at the lights. Amemiya moved to join her, she didn’t say anything, but laid down next to Masai. Amemiya methodically intertwined their hands, and squeezed Masai’s hand tightly. A few minutes passed before either spoke. “Thank you” Masai whispered, but to the two of them its sound filled the room. “I’ve still got a while to go. I’m improving since last year, but even still.” she continued.

“It was her fault for getting upset even before the final auditions.” Amemiya responded.

“Yes, but it's still my job to sort out any conflicts. Even when it’s hard I am the director. Even when it’s hard this is still what I want to do.”

Amemiya admired her determination. How she could be so insistent despite struggle was inspiring. She herself always felt adrift. Sometimes inspiration would strike, and sometimes she would be left lost. But Masai stayed grounded, and helped her stay grounded. She turned her head to gaze at Masai, who was staring back at her. “It's my job to support the director, and you’re a director I always want to support”. Masai turned to look up, and Amemiya followed her lead. They both abruptly sat up and the two of them began to yell until they had emptied their lungs. In truth neither of them knew what the sound-proofing in this room was like, but sometimes they just wanted to do this. Afterwards they were both left laughing.

Kiriko Masai had always thought of herself as a stubborn person. The culmination of her stubbornness could be seen as she now stood at Seisho Music Academy. Her family hadn’t opposed her attempting to enroll. But she could tell they never really expected her to get in. But despite what anyone else said she was standing here. It was a few weeks into their first year. Masai was enjoying the classes, and had been getting along well with everyone in class. Although she felt it was surface level, at least everyone was in good spirits. That’s what she wanted to maintain. Afterall she knew how hard it could be for everyone to get along smoothly once a production would start and issues would arise. It was on a day where they were building standard wooden platforms, that she saw someone - she recognized her as Shion Amemiya - flee the class. Masai decided to follow her. Even today she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like her. The class was enjoyable, and she risked getting punished for skipping. But at that moment, dismissing everything else, Masai wanted to run with her. She has never regretted it.

When she had first been chosen to be director Masai was initially overjoyed, and then very quickly overwhelmed. She got along fairly well with everyone in class so no one openly opposed the decision. But she could feel the discontent under the surface. It made sense, so many others wanted to be the director, but it ate away at her. The first time she messed up was the first time she heard it stated openly. “She was a bad choice for director” it was some of her classmates talking behind her back. She recognized the voice, but even still begged to forget it. She didn’t want to know who it was. Even still the next day there they were smiling and chatting with her in class. Without knowing it she had retreated back to the same forgotten theatre she chased Amemiya to that day. Soon after Amemiya appeared, just how she knew she would find Masai here wasn’t even something that crossed her mind. That day Masai cried. From everything she was unsure of, from all the stress that had been building up, from the pressure to succeed. She let Amemiya hear all of it, and the next day she would be the best director possible. Of course not everything was smooth sailing. She still struggled. But this was the first time she had someone she was truly close to. Not her classmates who she just got along with on the surface. Not even her family really supported her. In the future she would make more true friends, and feel more in place as a director. But at this moment, when she felt at her breaking point, it was Amemiya who helped her continue. Whatever the future held she would treasure this time.

At some point the two of them had stopped using each other’s names. Somehow, from the tone of voice, wording, or something they could tell when the other was talking to them. But now, as Masai looked at Amemiya sitting alone in the dark, clutching her script she called out to her. “Shion”. Amemiya looked up. Her eyes were surrounded by dark circles (though not unusual, these were far worse than normal) and her hands were gripping her pencil so tight they shook slightly. Masai knew just how hard writing their 3rd Starlight had been on Amemiya. The two of them had been talking about it for weeks and she knew that even if Amemiya was open with her, her doubts and fear of failing would make her suffer alone in silence. This was Masai’s deadline. She could see Amemiya working herself to the bone. She wanted to give Amemiya all the time she desired. But ultimately Amemiya’s health was far more important to her. So the celebration (help I forgot what it’s actually called) was the cut off. She approached Amemiya and slowly took her hand. She methodically loosened her fingers and interlaced her own. She took the partially finished script. Turned to Amemiya and smiled. Then she took off at a sprint, pulling Amemiya along with her. In contrast to the dark confined room Amemiya had trapped herself in, the two felt the motion, and saw the bright lights of the celebration. Soon Masai took the stage pulling Amemiya along with her. She looked down at all their classmates around her. People who looked up at her expectantly. For two years she had served as their director. To ensure everyone got along and went smoothly she did all she could to be the perfect director. Kind, open to all, and never showing weakness. Amemiya was the only person that she was open with. But now, seeing how much Amemiya was suffering, she realized it was time to let the act drop. She took the microphone and yelled into the crowd. Letting out her fears, and frustration. It had been tough. There had been lots of disagreements. Many things that Masai regretted. But right now, ultimately she felt that she would regret keeping everything hidden. So she let everything she was carrying within out, and unburdened herself. She told the honest truth. She was scared, unsure of what they could do for their third year, and feeling stuck. She shared a piece of that with everyone. Her friends, even the people she couldn’t quite get along with. They were all here together. It was okay because they were all here together. At this point, they had all grown. She didn’t need to be the perfect director anymore. It was okay. She still belonged here. They all still wanted to make the best show they could.

Masai turned back to Amemiya. Everyone had accepted her weakness and fear. Whether the script was done or not it was okay. Amemiya didn’t need to hide and suffer by herself. After all, they had always managed before. Through whatever happened. Masai was here for Amemiya. Always. She was stubborn afterall. Once more she took her hands. And so their third production of Starlight began. Then the script was finished. Then there were of course some squabbles. Then it was time for tech week. Then, equal parts exhausted and thrilled, it was time for the performance. Then the 99th class struck the set for the last time. Then it was time for graduation.