#bex thoughts

its always been that way.

usually, he can ignore it. brush it off. if he's feeling annoyed, he'll shoot a glare that has the whispers stopping. for a moment, at least.

but today, tendou isn't feeling the greatest. the whispers seem to mimic his own thoughts he can't chase off. he tries to focus on his school work, desparate for the distraction.

"I don't know how ushijima can stand him. he's so loud and ushijima's not."

"not to mention how he's always touching ushijima. I'd be embarrassed to even be seen with that freak."

tendou swallows. the words hit their mark, even if the two boys hadn't intended for tendou to hear it. the words on the page blur as he gets stuck in his thoughts, repeating those words over and over.

always when tendou finds someone he thinks gets him, its lost. just like that.

maybe ushijima does find him annoying and clingy. tendou knows he's too much, he's been told so his entire life. always just outside the groups of kids, forced to watch as everyone gets along.

volleyball had always given that semblance of a friend group. the team had to like him because he was tall and good at blocking.

but team gatherings always occurred without him. inside jokes were said and everyone snickered while he sat on the sidelines confused.

he's made himself known on the shiritorizawa team, pushing in when he feels himself being excluded.

but with ushijima it felt different. maybe because he's the only person who hasn't outright rejected tendou or made it obvious he's whispering behind his back. he allows tendou to hang off of him and include tendou in conversations. sure, the conversations always center volleyball, but tendou will take what he can get.

the class is dismissed for lunch and tendou holds his head up as he walks out of the classroom.

when he sits to eat his lunch, he picks at it. he's never eaten much anyway, but today he doesn't have much of an appetite. when ushijima sits next to him, tendou can't bring himself to start a conversation.

"hello, tendou," ushijima says. his own tray of food is piled with food, mainly protein.

"hey," tendou mumbles and pushes his rice towards ushijima.

ushijima frowns. it's slight, not much different from his usual resting face. but tendou has experience reading the expressions of ushijima.

those words ring again in his head and tendou returns his gaze to his tray.

ushijima's chopsticks tap on his tray. a small quirk ushijima has when he's thinking. if there's something in his hand, he taps it against the nearest surface.

maybe tendou is far too annoying. too clingy. who thinks these things about their... friend? teammate? tendou still isn't sure what to classify ushijima as. teammate is likely the most accurate. he quickly dismisses the thought of ushijima being a friend.

he'd never be that lucky.

"you should eat the chicken," ushijima finally says, voice rumbling. "we're doing conditioning for practice. you'll need your energy."

tendou looks up again. ushijima looks at tendou like he's studying him. tendou squirms.

"yeah, I'll try," tendou mutters before averting his gaze. ushijima's eye contact is intense.

another tense moment passes.

awkwardly, ushijima bumps his shoulder against tendou's. tendou looks up again, eyebrows furrowed. was ushijima trying to hit him?

ushijima's eyebrows are also furrowed. he gestures to tendou's shoulder then his own.

tendou takes a breath and bumps his shoulder against ushijima's.

ushijima gives a solid nod and goes back to eating.

tendou can't help but smile. ushijima may seem cool to everyone, but he's just as odd as tendou is.

~

atsumu sits on their bed. his tongue sticks out the side of his mouth in concentration as he sews together a hole in. his own pair of shorts. kiyoomi told him to just throw them away and buy a new pair, but atsumu waved him away.

"it's a perfectly good pair of shorts," atsumu had replied with a carefree shrug that irked kiyoomi. "besides, I always get holes in my shorts. its easier to just sew them than always buying a new pair."

kiyoomi does appreciate atsumu's ability to fix things, even if kiyoomi himself would rather just replace it. the skill came in handy when kiyoomi lost a button to his favorite shirt and atsumu sewed the backup on in just a minute.

after kiyoomi finishes folding and putting away his own clothes, he reaches for the bin of laundry atsumu finished.

atsumu raises his head. "oh, its okay. I'll put those away."

kiyoomi pauses for a moment. he glances at the bin and then back at atsumu.

atsumu sighs, a small smile on his face. "fine, you can put them away if its bothering you."

kiyoomi looks down to hide his own smile.

he's lucky that he doesn't always need to say something for atsumu to understand. it's hard to get the words out. sometimes its hard to say what he wants without coming off as abrasive and rude. and it did cause problems and sometimes still does.

get the fuck out of my kitchen before I stab you

I SAID DICE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

If you touch me again, I swear to god-

I will burn this house down with you in it, rintarou, im serious this time

who the hell moved my salt? I had it right here- did you fucking take it again? what do you mean for a snack, im cooking dinner!

fuck off

die

fuck you

jump out of the window so I dont have to deal with you anymore