#bex ranting

if i hear that i'm "doing this to myself" one more time and not "you've been chronically burning out under wildly out of proportion expectations from society and family since birth" i am, in fact, going to scream. don't tempt me i will go live in the woods as a cryptid and you will never see or hear from me again. all because...

say it with me kids

I’m sorry I’ve been gone for aaaaages. I got busy with school and then got really unmotivated to edit screenshots, but I’m back now lol

going to a new therapy place to see a whole new therapist whom i have never met before today... i genuinely feel sick over it. and not the fun kind. unless you're into emeto i guess then yeah sure have a seat i am a perpetually nauseated human being via many factors? i accept belly rubs... sometimes

anyway, not excited. i dont think they're... prepared for what a hot mess i am? mostly because i did not make this appointment for me. my mother made one for her, then decided she didn't want it, so gave them my number. i have told her time and time again to stay out of my damn medical business. so they called me after i was on some waiting list apparently for "anxiety & depression" and i... y'all wish it was just that.

and the therapist is a man. which is fine... i've had guy therapists before. but the weirdest part?? he has my father's EXACT name. first and last. THATS FUCKIN WEIRD. idk i don't like any of it. the vibes are very off and i really can't tell if it's just my brain/body/nervous system going haywire rn or if this is a Trust My Gut scenario.

ohhh my god I am gonna fucking strANGLE my roommate. she sent me a pic of a positive covid test this morning and just the word "Fuck" WELL I DUNNO BETHANEEN MAYBE THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD FUCKING STAYED HOME!? Y'know like I asked you to because I had fucking abdominal surgery?! And I *seriously* don't want to fuck with my immune system more or be COUGHING god for-fucking-bid right now?? Fuck you. /sarcasm/ So glad you came in and did the bare minimum the first 3 days because I had no one else to. So glad I got to track my own meds for the first week while high as a kite and in pain and unaware. So glad that you've let my dog's training go to shit over the last 11 days and I'm gonna have to double my efforts to fix all that.