#beware circusfable

Obviously do not send them hate. Don’t send death threats, don’t send slurs, don’t shit talk them. I do not want that, and if anyone does that on my behalf or because of my words you disgust me. I do not support or condone those actions on anyone, even Charlie. The entire point of my posts is to warn people of a dangerous person, not to encourage people to do the same shitty actions that I’m calling out. Don’t fucking do that, Jesus Christ people.

Here are the photos of what they said, and I will post my original response.

My original response:

Yeah that google doc that was calling out racist behavior? It was about an AU in which Odile enslaved Mirabelle. Not only did it clearly have racist content against black people, it also had a bunch of racist stereotypes against Asian women. So even if you want to excuse the racism against black people in that AU with “well it was written by a black person so they can do that!” (Which I’m not going to touch on, that one is a debate I do not have the energy or information to have, nor is it my place to) they were still being racist to Asian people.

POC are also capable of being racist. Them being black doesn’t excuse the racism they showed to other black people, and it definitely doesn’t excuse the racism to Asian people shown in that AU. Trying to hide that racism under them being black is putting them up on a pedestal for being black, which is also racist because you’re not treating them like a regular person who can make mistakes and be harmful.

Also Apos didn’t submit the google doc, someone else made and submitted it to the mods, and Charlie started worrying about a “callout post” being made and Apos was trying to calm them down. Here’s the google doc itself so you can read it on your own, decide for yourself if you think it was wrong to talk to the mods about how this was racist and bad. It’s under the tab “MiraDile Fairy AU”

It also wasn’t a callout post. It only got shared with the mods at that point to bring the racist AU to their attention. That’s not a callout post, that’s a member trying to keep their community safe while their moderators let racism grow under their watch while doing nothing and claiming to be a progressive anti-racist space. It only got shared further when it was proven that Charlie did not actually care about keeping their space safe and racism free.

Apos was also getting told that the POC (A) that made that same AU was ALSO harassing another POC (B) in the server. Apos did not share the further context of this or who (B) was because (B) asked them not to share that information, but asked Apos to talk to Charlie about it for them because they were scared of the potential backlash that Charlie would have. A fear that they were proven right to have by the way that Charlie has run a now 6 month long smear campaign on Apos for calling out their racism. Apos was literally just the messenger here because (B) didn’t feel safe going to Charlie. Every single time Apos brought up (A) was because someone, whether that was (B) or someone else, came to them about a problem.

Also, you bring up (A)’s POC status and autism diagnosis here. Apos is also POC and also diagnosed with autism. I am also diagnosed with autism. If being autistic excuses the harm that (A) provably caused then 1. You’re ableist for thinking that because autistic people don’t just get a free pass on harm. People who claim that do so because of the implication of “well they’re autistic they can’t know better/it’s hard for them to be a good person/not harm people!” I don’t think I have to explain why that’s ableist. If you’re autistic and you hurt someone you have to apologize and work on yourself to not further hurt people, one can’t just claim “well I didn’t mean to and I’m autistic” and have all the harm be washed away. And 2. We would also be excused of the harm you are claiming to have experienced. If being POC and autistic excuses one of harm, then Apos is excused too.

And if talking to other POC both in and out of the server is enough to convince you that you’re on the right side, I also did that AND showed them all the actual proof so they knew I wasn’t lying, and they also agreed that Charlie was being racist here. So either outside POC opinions matter here and you are in fact racist, or they don’t matter here and you can’t use that sentence and even more POC to hide behind instead of just taking accountability yourself. Having POC backing you up doesn’t automatically make you right, if it did we wouldn’t have drastically different responses.

Also funny to say it’s anti-black behavior to call out when a POC is being racist as reason for why Apos was racist and trying to push a member out of the community (even though he Never asked for them to be removed and only asked for a conversation to be had), only to then call Apos, a POC living in a non-white country, racist and Successfully push them out of the community all for speaking for a third POC because they felt unsafe. But it’s okay and not racist when Charlie, a white person living in the USA does it.

And saying that Apos “lashed out” when saying that you were racist, is in fact racist. After being told that they were too emotional to participate in topics of racism and instead only the 2 white mods were allowed to, after being ignored when speaking up for (B), a POC member of the server who was feeling unsafe in the community for months, I would also be pretty upset with that clear favoritism and racism. But to label that extremely valid upset with “lashing out” is making them out to be aggressive and irrational. Charlie, that is racist.

Also, you provably were not just in the call for background noise. In the screenshots attached you will see a SC from the actual gameplay with all of the usernames that were playing the game PEAK at the time of that call (but with the ones that aren’t Charlie blocked out because they’re not the ones lying here), and you will also see the screenshot of Charlie’s discord account with their steam name attached. The names match up. You were actively playing PEAK while claiming to “just be there for background noise while giving the conversation with Apos your full attention.” multiple people who were in that call were asked if you were playing and they said yes. You are a liar. You know you did bad here, but instead of owning up to your mistakes you are once again lying to cover your ass. This is a pattern of behavior with you.

And this claim you have of caring about the safety of the POC in what was once your server is proven false with just one of the maybe 3 or so interactions the 2 of us have personally had. When Apos started getting sent death threats and racial slurs, I came and I told you because even if you weren’t the one to send them or telling people to send them (which I will believe you on that claim for now because even I don’t think you suck That much) they still Clearly came from your group, and I had Hoped that you would at least not want racists in your own community. But I know that all you said was “no one send anyone any hate anons.” And didn’t mention the racial slurs. Slurs that they are still getting, and have also progressed to ableist slurs as well.

The reason this is a problem, Charlie, is because that means that there were still racists in your server. Racists who were willing to use racial slurs against people they knew weren’t white. And I’m not going to ask you to defend Apos, but I Am going to ask you to defend and protect the vulnerable groups in your community. And that action left the people Still In The Server in danger and exposed to people who are able and willing to hurt them on the flip of a dime, and you knew and CHOSE not to warn them. That action alone was you willfully endangering the POC in your server. I don’t even know why you did that. I truly don’t get it. But what I do know is that it’s clear proof that at least by then, you didn’t care if the POC in your server were safe, and frankly it’s disgusting of you to try to use those same POC as a shield to hide behind when your own racism got exposed. People who were willing to defend you, and people you weren’t even willing to type one sentence to protect. I’m disgusted and disappointed.

I also don’t believe that you truly care about protecting POC because within the first few weeks of Apos being a mod, you fully witnessed one of your white members do micro-aggression racism against them and did nothing. This was before this conflict happened, this was back when you still considered them a friend, and you still let one of your white members be racist to them. The only benefit of the doubt I can give you is that you missed it, but it’s pretty clear that when the white person wrongfully yells at a POC moderator for doing their job, and later everyone agrees that the moderator was in the right to step in, only for that white person to apologize to you, a white moderator and owner of the server instead of the POC person they yelled at, and to this day never have apologized to them. There’s clearly something happening there. You let that happen and did nothing.

Another thing, Apos has actually had no part in any of the posts that have come out after everything happened except the One they made themself. They have uninstalled tumblr and are off social media because they kept getting messages being told to die and being called slurs over this.

I have posted stuff because this topic means a lot to me, clearly, and because I’ve seen the first hand damage that your lies have caused them, but me speaking out about your racism and all the other isms that happened in that server is My choice, they have no part in that. In fact, they have actively advised me not to on multiple occasions because they don’t want me to get hurt, and because they want the situation to be over and done with.

And finally, if you are genuinely getting harassed, or if anyone has sent you any personal hate, or told you to hurt yourself or threatened to hurt you themselves, I am sorry. You don’t deserve that, you don’t deserve to feel unsafe, you don’t deserve to have that kind of hate thrown your way. No one does. If anything I have ever said encouraged anyone to say anything like that to you I am deeply deeply sorry. No one deserves to feel unsafe over people just saying things on the internet, and I’m sorry that it’s reached a point where you do.

Additional thoughts

Charlie refused to acknowledge the genuine racism they have done themselves. Racism against a mixed POC from a 3rd world country who isn’t a native English speaker- all important pieces of context that Charlie knows yet mysteriously chose to leave out- a POC who only got in this position to begin with for speaking up for other POC in the server who were too scared to talk to Charlie themselves because of their behavior, getting dragged over the rakes by a white person from the USA just for finally pointing out their racism, who never actually apologized for what they did. “Yes I messed up” isn’t an apology, especially when you won’t even say How you “messed up”, it’s a cop-out. Charlie has never said the words “I’m sorry for hurting you” let alone “I’m sorry for being racist” and I don’t think they ever will.

This same white person endangered the POC in their community they claim to care about, and uses these people that genuinely care for them as a shield to hide behind once their lies and bigotry were pointed out, and further dehumanized said POC while doing so.

A white person who has spread lies to a large amount of people (the server had 130+ at the time of Charlie lying to cover their ass instead of taking accountability for being racist) calling the victim of their racism racist themselves with absolutely no evidence to back it up, just the word of one white person against their victim. Words that led to death threats, racial slurs, ableist slurs, and most recently homophobic slurs, and Apos being told they were going to be sad and alone for the rest of their life until they killed themself. Who has never apologized for the outcome of their actions. Even if they were not the one to say those words, they are still partially at fault. Of course not nearly as much as the people who chose to say those things, those people hold the majority of the blame, but they never would’ve had a victim to spew their hate at if it wasn’t for Charlie putting Apos directly in their path by deciding to slander them in a server with 130+ people, a server that Did have a history with racism. They put a target on a POC for the racists they knew were in the server to latch onto. All to cover their own racism.

A white person who went out of their way to purposefully make it hard to see their racist words being pointed out, hiding away so that they never have to actually apologize for the harm they have caused.

You are a disappointment Charlie. You are racist and a liar and a manipulator who claims to care about POC just to turn around and use them, putting on a bright facade just to talk bad about them behind their back, just like you did with (A) when you called them and their group “vicious” and when you said that you thought they were going too far and talking about how their actions personally harmed you, yet pretending to be in full support of them in public so that you could get that wonderful title of “racism fighter”, and like you’re doing with Apos now.

Also this is a petty note, but it hasn’t been a year. Even if this was stalking or a harassment campaign, which only making posts pointing out that someone is a danger to the community and providing evidence is not a harassment campaign, and getting screenshots from a server with 130+ people is not stalking, it at MAX has been going on 4 months. 6, if I’m to be generous. Apos called out your racism and left that server in late January of this year. The call out post got posted in fucking April. Apos didn’t even get made a mod until late October and there wasn’t this conflict for at bare minimum a month of that time if not likely more. Charlie is claiming that this “stalking and harassment campaign” has been happening since before they were even a mod. I don’t know why you would lie about something so provably false. Literally for what reason are you exaggerating this much??? You’d think having another thing to prove that you lie wouldn’t help your credibility and you’d think better, yet here we are.

Also the reason Apos wanted to text for the PEAK talk instead of call is 1. Because he was told this conversation was exclusively about you apologizing to him. I don’t know if you lied to the 3rd party that was funneling communication for you 2 or if this 3rd party was the liar, but either way he was under the impression this was JUST an apology to him about your awful behavior. And 2. He was so upset and anxious about this whole situation that He Physically Couldn’t Speak, stutter too severe and that on top of them not being a native English speaker, well you can clearly see why they would prefer to text in this situation. He told the 3rd party this reasoning, so unless the 3rd party didn’t pass that knowledge to Charlie, they Knew this reasoning, and are choosing to not acknowledge that there were legitimate reasons behind the decision to text instead, and just mentioning it as “the reason for miscommunication” instead. Also there was no apology in this conversation, Charlie just pulled the same “yeah I messed up but actually You were the villain here” and then started getting on them for (checks notes) speaking up for others and calling out their blatant racism in a way that Charlie didn’t like.

Also let’s not forget that the person you decided to be the new owner of your server is the one that sparked the racism conversations in the server to begin with by writing a deeply racist portrayal of the King and being rightfully called out for this. That is the person you chose to become the new owner of the server. You also invited back a person that you had previously kicked from the server for racism while you were still the owner. These things do not fit with your portrayal of caring about the safety of the POC in your community, Charlie.

This second response is meaner and I do recognize that. I tried being nice before, and Charlie decided to take measures to make it harder for their racism to be seen. I no longer have the energy to make my response perfectly polite, especially not while on the tail end of a surgery recovery and about to have yet another surgery in 2 days. I have higher priorities than being polite to a bigot right now.

I do encourage people to talk about their experiences with Charlie, because they’ve been a big name in this community who a lot of people have wanted to interact with and those people deserve to be warned of their behavior for their safety, and because I know So Many Other People who are victims of their lies and manipulation to make themselves look better. But I encourage you to do it in a way which is Warning people of behaviors to look out for, not in a way that is just shitting on them as a person. And only say things that are true, don’t stoop to their level and become a liar just to boost your own image either, that’s absolutely not acceptable.

And for no particular reason, let’s say the example is an abuser being called out for racism.

Deny - “I’m not racist! I’m a strong defender of people of color!”

Attack - “the person pointing out my racism is actually the racist!”

Reverse Victim and Offender - “this person saying I’m racist and sharing proof of me being racist is stalking and harassing me! I’m the victim!”