#bentonposting

benton's entire character arc is struggling with the walls he has put up around himself in order to Not Care About people and to not relate to them emotionally. his basest instinct when overwhelmed by hardship (reese's custody battle, reese's hearing loss, jackie's son dying) is to shut down and turn inward and become a complete stone wall to everyone else—to resort to anger as the only palpable way to express the raw despair bubbling inside.

and specifically in regards to his distance in romantic relationships: in season 1 benton put so much effort into having an affair with jeanie, only to break up extremely painlessly and immediately. even with all the material effort he invested into sneaking around with her, he did not have that emotional attachment with her at all. he put in the Amount of Conscious Effort he needed to to have a relationship with her, but there was none of his soul in it. (even though clearly he hooked up with her as a coping mechanism as his mother was dying, to be close with another person who understood him without benton having to say anything—so he was subconsciously searching for connection—but this was disconnected to the extent that he could break it off with her immediately.)

i'm reminded of early season 5 when he and elizabeth broke up: benton is emotionally shuttering and lashing out because reese's loss of hearing is overwhelming him, and lizzie's requests to participate in his problems and share the burden are continually rebuffed. she tells him: “hey, you aren't emotionally available to me, and we should break up—but i am still here for you, and we are still friends.” and benton absorbs the break-up unemotionally, continuing with the trend of extreme compartmentalization of himself from others, but specifically when lizzie mentions that she's still his friend (regardless of how he has materially treated her the last two weeks, she is still offering an olive branch to connect to him, and unlike a romantic relationship, it is not dependent on benton's actions or emotional maturity): benton smiles at that! somewhere, under his walls and his detachment, he feels relief at having a solid connection to another person!

do i think benton would, in his sex life, default to acting out a level of detached control that would fit into a dom/sub dynamic? sure!

can't say how good i think he'd be at it, considering (imo) that kink is about recognition of the self through the other, and there's no chance this man is thinking about anyone else in his bed with the emotional depth to have fun with it. if he is a dom, it would be a continuation of his regular deep-seated need to keep careful, cordoned control of his life and by extension his partners' lives—which is a character flaw that is weighing him down with the singular weight of the world on his shoulders, not something bringing him life and joy and fun. bdsm is, at its core, acting with someone—but benton acts 24/7 in his daily life to keep people at arms' reach from him! and he fucking hates it! and yet he's not going to stop because he views it as his burden to bear!

my thesis is that i think sex could be a great way for benton to Finally experience a level of intimacy with another person that is free from the walls he's put up around himself and the way that he consciously separates himself from others.

but i don't think it would be as part of a power dynamic.