#benlix

"I didn't mean to. I let you go. See, I had control- I have control. I promise it won't happen again. Fuck, I promise you never have to see me again too, to make sure it. Hell I wouldn't even blame you for not wanting to see me again. I'd do whatever as long as you just wake up."

As if on cue, a gasp for breath pulls itself from Benji’s core. Benji looks up at Felix, dazed, confused, and hurt.

"Why," is all Benji can muster to say.

"Oh thank God!" Felix exclaims as he pulls Benji closer to him.

He deeply inhales taking in Benji’s scent now covered in his own. A loud rumble comes from Felix’s middle causing him to contract. Several coughs rattle Lux’s lungs and he gags as he tried to catch his breath. Benji looks up at him in horror. 

"I'm sorry," Felix apologizes as he places Benji next to him.

Focus Lux, you have control

A silence stretches between them like a canyon.

"I can't keep doing this Felix," Benji finally announces.

"Doing what exactly?"

"Pretending that it doesn't hurt knowing that in a second my best friend could turn and rather have me as a meal than alive."

"It's not like that Benji," Felix says, looking away from Benji.

"Look at me right now and tell me it's not. This is your doing." Benji reaches up to grab Felix’s face to force his gaze.

As he's done in habit , Felix grabs Benji wrist and holds it high above the prey's head. For the first time since releasing him, Felix realizes that Benji is shivering, and yet the fire behind his eyes still burns bright. Felix let's go of Benji and looks away in shame.

"You don't understand..." Felix starts as he wraps his arms around his stomach.

"Fuck you, Felix. You really think I don't understand how it feels to need something so badly it feels like I'll be ripped apart limb by limb with out it. We both found ways of coping with what happened that night. Thankfully I had people in my life that helped me break it. Sad I can't say the same about you though."

Felix grinds his teeth to stop himself from saying something he'd regret. Of course Benji was able to get help, he didn't have a job that gave him little chance to deny the offer to provide for his needs. He didn't have a reputation to keep up. He didn't have to go through it alone.

"I didn't know, " Felix finally states.

"I mean it's not like we've actually talked about anything other than Epomis or the Facility since I saw you again." Benji's teeth clatter between each word.

In the distance the two hear the sound of twigs snapping under the falling steps of several medium-sized animals.

"We should move to the car. I can even run the heat for a bit" Felix suggests.

"I'm not ready to be in an closed off space with you so soon. No offense."

"No I understand. But the coyotes might not. "

"Fine. But I'm going to sit in the back."

Felix nods and pushes himself to his feet, one hand reminds at his center and with the other he fishes out his keys. With a press of the button, the car's headlights briefly flash light onto the surrounding areas. Benji stands as well and as quickly as he can, moves to the back seat. Benji climbs in and curls into himself on the large seat.

Felix watches, still as the trees, and desperately fights the urge to chase after his greatest desire and put it back in it the place it will be most cherished. His stomach twists at the teasing thought resulting in Felix dropping to his knees for a moment. He forces himself to standing and follows after Benji. He can't let his favorite prey get too far. Felix opens the back door and lays behind Benji. He pulls Benji close to his stomach, where he should be. Of course Benji fits into him perfectly, as if the prey's entire purpose was to complete this pred. Benji's entire body stiffens as the pred nestles closer.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Felix assures Benji, "I just need to hold you. One last time."