#bellsie

dear Bellsie,    yesterday wasn’t all that exciting, just another boring day in the life of this girl. today i have a doctor’s appointment and shopping to do. the only shopping i love to do, i’m sure you know what i’m talking about. know what i’m missing right now? your chocolate cherry cake. for some reason it popped into my head earlier and now i’m craving it. 

oh, another thing! i found these really cute books that i’ve been reading. well, maybe ‘cute’ isn’t the right word since there is a lot of naughty things in them. is that weird? probably totally weird. anyway, i miss you and i miss telling you about the weird things i find to read and watch. lately i haven’t found anything that i’m too into. i guess that just means i need to try harder, right? gotta be something out there that’s weird and crazy. 

well, gonna head to bed now because i’m tired and tomorrow work is gonna kick my behind until my doc appointment. i hope you’re out there, wherever you are, having a great night. 

don’t forget me, okay?

You were… my first friend where I knew you liked me for simply being me. We both would’ve done everything for each other. Until I broke that silent promise without even noticing it.

I remember every conversation and regret not using the chance more. My friends knew how much I loved you. They watched me cry when I could only scroll through our chat instead of texting with you.

I love you. I luv you. I loaf you. I don’t care what you call it, but you mean something to me. I even wanna say you mean everything, but I don’t want to admit that. Not when I know that you'll probably never know that I said that.

I did it, Bells. I wrote. And wrote. And even though it is hard sometimes, I believe in myself. And I think I wouldn’t just have said that without your believe in me.

I dreamt. Too big. But as of right now, publishing my own book one day someday doesn’t even seem to far away, does it?

I hope one day I can talk to you again and tell you what you mean to me.