#bellanaris

They say that when the wolf awoke, A woman from among the folk, She charmed his heart and showed him this world's goodness.

When it came for him to atone, She gave him grace, became his home, Broke the tyranny of forever: bellanaris.

I decided to take "Free Day" literally. Ha.

But I really liked the idea of ending the story on a theme of home together and freedom at last for both of them. Solas's immortality became a curse on his perspectives and goals, while Lavellan was able to anchor him in the "now." Both were stuck in god-like roles they didn't want, based on the expectations of others, until they literally stepped out of the narrative and into the Fade for some hard-earned rest, together. There, they can be nothing more than themselves for each other.

Forever haunted by the very moment Lavellan gently touches Solas’ shoulder before departing for the Fade… her touch is SO SOFT, so deliberately tender.

You can see the movement of her arm slowing down slightly before reaching him. She’s aware that his emotions are heightened, his body is bruised and battered, he’s on the verge of collapsing… Sudden physical contact might be too much for him to bear at this point, and he struggles with the fear that she might not really be coming with him. She knows how he feels, for she’s his heart, his vhenan.

So, in that crucial moment (where, additionally, she’s about obliterate his deepest fear of dying alone), she’s purposefully being so infinitely delicate. For she needs to both ground him AND soothe him, to reassure him that she’s here.

Truly.

She’s coming.

With him.

That there is no fate, other than the love they share.

“I know more than you dare to understand! I am mortal. All I know is loss!” She let her voice ring out, half hoping the rage would meet its intended ears. If Felassan was borne of Solas’ regret, it meant her anger would not be cruel but justified. It meant she could bar nothing back when trying to cut through Solas’ penchant for self-deprecation. For fatalism. “Always cleaning up the mess. Always held at a distance. Kept in the dark! You think yourself treated unjustly? Get in line!”

“Da’len...” Felassan did not see the knife slip out of his sheath and home itself in Solas’ hand, but he felt it, for he smiled as soon as Solas had armed himself and pounced. Felassan’s palm, still hot in her cheek, burned with the familiar pain of the branding altar, the lyrium in her blood singing as loud as a whistling arrow. Revas screamed, shut her eyes and waited. The last thing she heard before the dagger sliced past the plating of armour was a sad declaration. “The line started with me.”

But my best enemy is you

Flee from me, the worst is you and I

But if you keep searching for my voice

Forget me, the worst is you and I

The pining, the warnings, the love that is both a blessing and a curse...

working on that Well of Sorrows plot hole by making Morrigan enter Revas' mind after she goes into a fugue state after getting her lyrium brands [spoilers for NSFS]!

sidenote: during/after work, i usually listen to videogame scores to help regulate my moods, and the other day i was listening to this piece from hellblade, and it fit so well for the solavellan angst! and, thinking of blades, i wanted my knight-enchanter inquisitor to get a "cursed/blessed sword of legend" that would help pull the weight off being a one-handed knight-enchater on the battlefield during the blighted south (but also bear consequences!), and I'm toying with giving her a nariko arc from heavenly sword!