200 belch/henry đ
200. "iâm doing this to protect you.â
âThatâs it? Just like that?â Belch shook his head, not quite believing what was going on. After three months, Henry was just going to end it, with no believable reason whatsoever?
âYeah, asshole, just like that,â Henry told him, fiddling with his bracelet. He didnât like this anymore than Belch did, but it had to be done. If he didnât end it, who knew what could happen to Belch, and he couldnât be responsible for him getting hurt. He couldnât bear it if he was the reason something happened to him.
âWhy?â Heâd asked the question at least three times by now, and all heâd gotten was a shrug and a half-assed excuse that didnât make sense at all. âAnd donât bullshit me, Henry. I deserve better than that, donât you think?â
âI donât- Look, just let it go and get out, okay? Itâs better this way.â It really was. Belch could move on and find someone better, someone less violent, less broken. Someone whoâs father wouldnât murder him if they got caught.
âBetter? Better for who, Henry?â Belch demanded. How could it be better? Fuck, couldnât Henry see how much he cared about him? How heâd do anything for him? It wasnât better, it was the worst thing he could imagine. He didnât want to break up, and he didnât want Henryâs bullshit excuses as to why.Â
âFor you, okay? Itâs better for you, so you wonât get hurt!â Henry snapped. Belch shouldnât be questioning him. It wasnât like he actually cared. Henry was just a warm body to him, to anyone, and he was okay with that. Love wasnât something he deserved, he wasnât good enough for that, and it had been proven to him time and time again.
âNo, itâs fucking not better for me! And how am I going to get hurt? You gonna hurt me?â Belch asked, crossing his arms. âOh, fuck, youâve found someone else, havenât you?â
âWhat? No! God, Bel, itâs not that, okay?â It could never be that. There was no one Henry cared about more. And that was why he was doing this. It was better, safer, for Belch this way. Even if it meant losing him, even if it meant breaking his own heart which, until now, he hadnât thought was possible.
âThan what is it? Tell me, Hen. I want to know why youâre doing this. Tell me, and then Iâll leave.â He couldn't quite believe it was even happening, but if Henry would just tell him why, then maybe he could get over it. Maybe.
âFor fuckâs sake. Iâm doing this to protect you! Okay? Just, Iâm doing it so you wonât get hurt!â Henry shouted. Belch could never make things easy for him. He was always asking Henry to explain himself, always wanting to know his reasons behind things, always asking for his thoughts. He acted like Henry was somehow a real person, like he was worth something, like he actually mattered to him, but that couldnât be true. Henry was just reading to much into it. He was desperate for affection so he was taking everything Belch did as some sign that he actually cared about him. But he couldn't believe he did. If he did, then that made this harder than it should be.
âProtect me from what? What do I need protection from? Some killer clown gonna come up from the sewers and fuck me up for loving you?â
For loving you. That had to be fake. Belch couldnât love him. No one did. That was just how it was. But still, Henry softened at the words, the fight leaving him and the pain of what was happening setting in.
âNo, Bel. From my dad, okay? If he finds out about us, then heâll kill you.â And then Henry, but that didnât matter half as much. And his dad was already suspicious that he was with someone. He didnât need him poking around and finding out about Belch. Heâd never tolerate his son being a fucking fag. Heâd kill them both.
âYour dad? Does he know about us?â Belchâs anger turned to concern. If Henryâs dad knew, heâd hurt Henry, worse than he had before.
âNo, not yet. But heâs getting suspicious and itâs only a matter of time, and then heâll kill us both.â
âAnd thatâs why youâre leaving me? Because of your old man?â Belch asked, understanding finally.
âDonât you fucking get it? Heâll kill you, Bel! And heâll get away with it!â He was a cop, he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it. It was just how things worked.
âIâm not scared of him, Henry. He canât hurt me. If he finds out, Iâll kick his ass.â
Henry laughed, shaking his head. âYou canât do that.â
âI can, actually. Hell, the only reason I havenât yet is because IIâm afraid heâll take it out on you. Patrick and I have a plan, actually, of how to get rid of him. No one will ever find him. Heâll just go missing,â Belch told him.
âThatâs insane. Youâre fucking insane if you think you can do that.â Henry knew better. Nobody could get rid of his dad.
Belch sighed, knowing Henry was right. âHow about this? We get Gretta to cover for us. You pretend to date her and heâll never know about us. Thereâs only two more years til we graduate, then weâre gone. Until then, Gretta can be our cover.â
Henry furrowed his brow, âThatâll never work. Sheâd never do that for me.â
âSheâll do it for herself, though.â
âWhy would she need a cover?â
âGod, youâre so fucking oblivious. Sheâs gay as all hell, Henry. You can be her cover and sheâll be yours. Then youâre both free to do whatever you want with whoever you want,â Belch explained.
âThink itâll work?â Henry asked, feeling a little bit hopeful. If sheâd do it, then he could stay with Belch.
âYeah, I know it will.â Belch stepped closer to Henry and took hold of his hand. âItâll be okay, alright? Your dad will never find out about us. Youâre safe, Iâm safe, we can stay together.â
âYou sure you even want to? I mean, itâs not like Iâm worth the trouble,â Henry scoffed. He wasnât. Belch should just quit while he was ahead and find someone else.
âOf course you are. Donât be such a dumbass. Come here,â Belch pulled him closer. âI will keep you safe, okay? Because I love you.â
Henryâs breath caught in his throat. Belch had never said that before. He couldnât quite believe it, but nonetheless, he pulled Belch down into a kiss. He couldnât say it back, but he could do his best to show it. If Belch loved him, then he knew heâd be safe, even if he didnât understand why Belch thought he was worth it.
âHonestly, fuck your dad. Heâs a prick and we should just kill him.â
Henry snorted. If it were that easy, he would have done it years ago. âYouâre nuts.â
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