#bekluvsdiru

I think I am officially out of LISC, as my contract has ended in like July... So I don't have to be Rebekah Cruel anymore right? You know... He isn't answering me.

So I feel like he is just done with me or whatever. 

Oh, He=Fuji.

And for the longest time he was still stringing me along. I kept asking "so whats next", "are you planning anything", etc.

He would reply with great things and pictures as "proof" of his happenings. 

But I don't know if I believe it or not. 

I mean, Hello!Project? How do I know Tsunku even wants to collaborate with any type of foreigner when Jun/Lin were a fail because they were from China? I loved them, but Japanese fans seemed a bit more skeptical. 

He just keeps telling me "just be patient and post more videos on the CAP channel."

But I did and they all got put back on private because they were H!P songs. I asked why, and he said "Oh I just signed a deal with them, so hold off on using their music for a while on the channel". 

I haven't posted anything on there since then. Like, what am I supposed to dance to, Vocaloid? I am not a fan. :/ I guess I could have done a whole bunch of other idol's dances, but I didn't have the motivation anymore because its been too long since Fuji has actually shown progress with any of us, or even remotely showed interest in anything but himself. 

I mean, I'm sitting here wondering when I'll be able to go back to Japan because he filled my head with nonsense, and he is over there meeting and taking pictures with McJagger, and surfing all over the world. I just don't understand why he doesn't just say the project is over. Why did he sign Nina if he isn't doing anything? The poor girl doesn't deserve a wasted 3 years of her life. 

I had so much fun in Japan, and I am very grateful I could even do just that, but I strongly feel like this is getting old. Its wrong. :( 

I mean before, he asked me "how do you feel about going back with two other girls to do a sort of rock band? I'm thinking of Yasmine too. You all wont be payed very much, but is that okay with you?" And of course I said yes. I don't need money, I just want to do what I love. But that also didn't happen, obviously.

Then he told me he was going to basically start over and get rid of all of the Cruel Girls. He said he messed up, and wanted to keep only like 4 of us. I was included. But then he didn't do anything with us either! WTF.

Then the Hello!Project thing came along.

You know he seemed to tell me a lot of things that he didn't mention to the other girls. I always wondered why he talked to me about things, and not to them. I asked them all the time if Fuji has emailed them about anything exciting, but they would always say no, or they didn't know about anything.