#beintentional

Today I find myself flooded with so many memories. As I look back over 2018 I shed many tears. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of disappointment, tears of angry, just tears! So many emotions I have experienced this year and I must admit this has been a very trying year for me. One of the most confusing and hurtful years to date. However, I can say I’ve learned so much about people but most importantly I’ve learned so much about myself. In this season I have been forced to grow up and become less dependent on people and solely dependent on God! I am being forced to see that who and what I once felt I couldn’t live without I can indeed do so. My heart still grieves because although I now know I can live without certain people and things doesn’t mean I want to. Our hearts and minds don’t always agree and in those times are when we find ourselves struggling the most. I’ve gone through my photo library on my IPhone and I have came across so many pictures of memories I’ve shared with my loved ones. It is true that a picture is worth a thousand words. As I scroll,  each picture tells a story untold. Often times the memory of a thing is what haunts us more so then the actual deed. I’ve cried so much this year its a wonder my tear ducts even function (literally). I’ve hurt and disappointed people just as much as I have been hurt and disappointed. I by no means speak from the position of a victim but of someone that is accountable for what I have put out that has returned to me. In this season I have learned the importance of the law of attraction, what we put out surely returns to us. I would often wonder when I was younger why I would hear certain people say be careful what you put out. It wasn’t until recently I found out why. One day I was listening to a very powerful speech by Oprah and she was talking about how she lives her life by the law of attraction which has brought her all of her success. She went on to say that the energy you put out into the world will be returned to you and to always be intentional in every thing you do. She gave an analogy of a person sowing into a church. She said if you have no intent in why you are sowing then you are only doing it for show and you wouldn’t receive anything, but if you are intentional with sowing doesn’t matter the amount you will see it return. That resonated with my spirit because so many days I have woke up and went throughout my day without being intentional of what I would do, those I would encounter, and the seeds (naturally and/or spiritually) I would sow, yet I would always wonder why each day would always be the same. I was not intentional with the energy I put out. I say all that to say this at this point of our lives it is time and very vital to be intentional with our lives and everything that we do while we are still blessed with the time to do so. To new memories!!!