#behrblogs

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m making progress or standing still.

It’s been too long, I can’t afford to stand still.

Please let me be moving.

I’ve got so many ideas, I know what I want to do for album artwork, I know what I want to do for stage clothes, for stage props, for lyrics, for releasing music, for my whole fucking life.

But I don’t have the music yet.

I spent all those years in between working and trying to just stay alive and now that I’m figuring my shit out I realize that I don’t really know how to build a song.  Like okay, i have drums and I have this really cool instrument thing, and his other cool instrument thing and maybe even another one thats pretty great but i don’t know what to do with them.

They’re kind of mashed together in a sloppy i’ve just been laid out kind of way.  And I have no idea how to make them a cohesive song.  I mean that was a pretty good kick punch to the face cuz you spend so many years envisioning what you want to do and when you finally get around to doing it and you realize that you were thinking of all the other things.

I do have a complete track done btw.  The vocals are weak cuz apartment living, but I think I might release it sometime soon anyway.  I haven’t decided yet.

It’s not really what I want to make, but it was a really simple track to learn with.

I don’t want to make traditional music.

It’s not that I don’t like all kinds of music.  I mean I love pretty much everything, even if I don’t know the artists or anything if it comes on i’m like hey i like that.

I’m not a musician, I don’t have crazy guitar skills that allow me to just chill and noodle around and make something great.  And I don’t really have the ability to sit and learn from a book and be this amazing musical genius that can listen to anything and play along and make it perfect and my own.

And I don’t want that.  That bores the hell out of me.