Somehow it’s getting worrisome with how I am in this foreign land. How come I could not be the way I am? I started to become that weak specie without a backbone. I easily get angry, cry and sensitive in which I could have been strong. This is definitely insane. I also realize how I could not withstand talking with foreigners. Its like I’m afraid of them and that I may make a mistake. I am but stupid. Care to tell me where is your strength to fight for yourself and stand by your own? Wake up, you are old enough to handle this kind of messed up world. Never shake your hands and spill small water from your eyes because it won’t do you any good. Woman up and stand tall in your petite size. Trust yourself better. Just stop pleasing freaking people. It won’t do you any good. Do your job and do not let them see how weak you could be. Never back down. Move forward and unleash what is truly you and how you can become that freaky confident girl with a bone. Stand if you must! Face it! Practice more. let those pains and hurt become your lessons. No more self pitying and other weak traits you have accumulated. It’s time. It’s freaking time for you to stand up! BE INDEPENDENT BIWITCH!!!!! LESSEN being stagnant! You may knock your head on the wall now.
As for your anger issues, try to manage it. Do not act instantly but slowly try to let the words sink in and be the freaking damnation they will see with your calm demeanor. Its never too late! Please let me stop doing and writing this to you but DO IT! Come on, this is basic skill, baby. Shut up and do something about it. Saying anything won’t do so much, ok?
Stop your judgments! JUST STOP!!!! It’s your family, yes, they are monsters like you but do know they have the same blood as yours so only say YES when you can and NO at times. You cannot have and do it all. Do not let your anger and pessimistic perspective towards them be a grudge. Just let it go and flow. Say SORRY if you must and if this disappointment you felt towards your family persists then just let it all out through crying. Freak yourself out more. The more its freaky the better you will be. TAKE IT ALL IN MIND!!!! IMPROVE YOURSELF!!!!!!