#beestung

at the party, i try to quote judith butler and say gender is a performance i’ve never been super good at. i tell them i have been dreaming about becoming a chandelier instead. ablaze, far from here, & safe. i am searching for one place that feels safe.

If I had a string of wampum for every cis gay boy I fell in love with I could replace international diplomacy with an oral history of transgender longing, and maybe that would be alright too.

I tell you the truth.                                I want to see what no one else sees.

When the pansies withdraw into the earth I want to go too, want their stems to braid into my brachial plexus. I want the neophyte physicians to look at the fibrous semilunes on my chest and the mercury glass shells around my muscles