#beejthirsting

this is a question i have spent a full calendar year trying to answer... let me see. hmm. to put it into words... it's a challenge, to say the least.

first of all, there is the undeniable allure of the forehead crinkle and that butter-wouldn't-melt smile. tall man long thigh! fresh-faced baby bj and then.. his true form... mustache man <3 there's a magnetism that i truly do not understand because he is a normal man! he's normal. but also he's the most beautiful person i've ever seen and i smile like an idiot every time he's on screen <3

there is the heart eyes quality when he focuses in on the people he loves... we see it early on when he talks about peg, and we see it when he looks at hawkeye. he's a wife guy!!! and he has two wives <3 there's a wholesomeness to that, to me... for all we make fun of mister 'can't divide myself emotionally,' we do see evidence of that. when he's paying attention to someone, he is paying attention only to them, he's watching and learning about them and using that attention to take care of them better.

then there are the layers, and the way that we uncover them so gradually. the playing at innocence and/or obliviousness when really he's just as devious as hawkeye, just better at harnessing the element of surprise. and that works on us too! looking at s4 bj, who ever could have predicted the level of subterfuge? the elaborate pranks? he just likes causing harmless trouble! for fun!

i absolutely think mike's delivery has a lot to do with this, too, the way he just... never says something the way i would expect. in a way it feels like he's throwing away so many lines, but the throwing away is what makes it feel so real. he's not orating like hawkeye sometimes does, so much of what he does and says really feels off the cuff. you never know what's coming!

i love too that there's so much below the surface, and we get very distinct glimpses of it, and over the years we can understand him very well, but to a casual observer who just sees an episode or two, or watches out of order, or isn't paying very close attention, he's just - exactly what he seems. just a nice guy who likes to joke around! and the show is fine when you watch it that way. but there is the secret bj just under the surface, that only becomes clear if you pay very close attention to him. i find that very rewarding. the deceptive simplicity of him reels me in every time.

and i think - rightfully so - that hawkeye has a reputation as the character who is so so so full of love. but bj is too - it's so hard for him not to give too much to the people who need him, whether that's hawkeye or the korean family in bj papa san or his patients. it doesn't manifest the same way it does with hawkeye, but it's undeniably there. he's devoted! even when he falters, it's an exception that proves the rule kind of situation. he slips, but he catches his footing, and he keeps going. i mean, hello??? pink henley??? that's devotion! that's a grand romantic gesture that is so woven into his daily life that it ceases to be grand and just becomes part of him.

and it's been established that i'm beejcoded, so i do see a lot of myself in his behavior and motivations, and as nonsensical as he is he just... makes sense to me <3