#bee.pollen

You shake your head as your hands busy themselves with wringing the washcloth. “He was so handsome,” you sigh, “I almost broke into a rash just staring at him.” You place the now cool fabric back into place across your nephew’s forehead, and press your moist hands against your cheeks in a futile effort to bring a chill to your warm face. Perhaps you’re the one with the fever now.

Your paths do not cross with the young and handsome doctor until sometime a week or two later. Your parents had insisted you bring him a small basket of persimmons on your morning delivery to thank him for Silas’s care, and your sister, Silas’s mother, had insisted that you bring your nephew with you.

So there you were, the pair of you, walking towards the town center to find Jeon Wonwoo’s office of practice. 

Silas squeezes your hand to get your attention and you glance toward him to let him know you’re listening. 

“Auntie,” he starts, “do you think I should become a doctor when I grow up?” 

You almost giggle but hold it in lest he thinks you’re laughing at him. His mother would probably run the streets in excitement if she’d just heard her son’s query. 

“Now why do I have a say in what you should be when you grow up? You can be whatever you want, I always tell you that.” 

His lips form a small pout before he replies; “You’re my best friend, of course you have a say.”

Tears try to fill your eyes before you will them away with a shake of your head. “Well as your best friend I say that you should be whatever makes you happy.” You tell him and lean down to quickly press a kiss to his cheek. “Now let’s hurry to Mister Jeon’s office so he can get his persimmons and you can go to afternoon classes.” 

The doctor’s office isn’t too hard to find, mostly due to the fact that there’s only one of them, and it’s fairly new to town.

As you and your nephew make your way to the entrance you notice the wisteria plants that span the awning. ‘They'll look lovely when they bloom in spring,’ you muse. 

The bell above the door chimes as the two of you enter and the young man sitting behind what you assume to be the reception desk nods in greeting. 

“Do you have an appointment?” He asks once you are closer to the desk. 

“Actually, I’m here with a delivery," you say, shyly holding up the basket, "and payment for Dr. Jeon's house visit." 

"Of course," he stands to receive the basket from you and sets it on the floor beside his chair. You watch him smooth down his dress shirt as he returns to his seat. The man then pulls open a drawer at his side and retrieves a medium sized journal, setting it in front of him and wetting his index finger to flip through its pages. 

"May I know the date the visit took place? As well as the patient's last name and address?"

You provide him with the information and watch as he skims through the cursive written on the journal's pages. 

As you converse with the man about payment you can't help but be thankful about how well behaved Silas is as you do. Although it might have been due to his fascination with the fish in a tank that sat in the waiting area, tucked next to some chairs and a table with a few newspapers, you're no less grateful. 

The two of you leave the office shortly after, your nephew a bit disappointed in not seeing Dr. Jeon, the man who has become the current subject of his admiration. 

"I'm sure we'll see him sometime soon," you say, trying to lift the boy's spirits, "it's a small town after all. Now, run along to class. Your mother will have my head if you're late again." 

Silas bids you farewell with a hug and you watch him jog down the road towards the schoolhouse, his bag swinging behind him. Unbeknownst to you that the doctor you'd been speaking about was watching it all from not too far away. 

Wonwoo is just shy of exhausted as he enters his practice. Removing his hat and tweed coat, holding onto them to hang them up in his office. 

Seungkwan stands from his chair to greet him but before he can utter a word Wonwoo lets out an almost comical sigh. 

"Please tell me I'm done with house visits for the day, I don't think I can handle another matriarch trying to convince me to marry their daughter." 

"You'll be happy to note that all the patients left today are mostly general check-ups." Seungkwan replies with a look of amusement. "Oh and before I forget the daughter of the persimmon farm came by with a basket for you and also took care of their bill for the visit two weeks ago," he continues. 

"I thought I caught a glimpse of her outside. Thank you, Seungkwan, I'll be in my office if you need me." 

Wonwoo closes his office door behind him as he enters, hanging up his hat and jacket on the coat rack to his immediate left. The basket of persimmons sits in the middle of his desk, covered with a cloth that had to have been hand-sewn. It's cream colored with a bouquet of embroidered flowers in the corner, beautiful work. It's a shame he can't enjoy the sweet fruit that lies beneath, work comes first. 

The bookstore's wood stairs creak as you ascend and in turn the bell hanging above the door chimes as you enter. Delight flashes across your face as you lock eyes with the girl who sits behind the counter. She returns your joy earnestly with a small smile and a wave of her hand. 

"You seem to be awfully chipper this afternoon." Jisun notes as you lean against the counter. 

"Maybe because I have it all to myself," You reply, with a smile. 

"I thought you had deliveries to do today?" She asks, confused. 

"Well, I did have one delivery today, to Dr. Jeon's office. My father said if I made that delivery and sent Silas off to classes I could take the afternoon off. I might have to do some this evening though."

At the mention of the doctor's name your friend gives you a coy look, which you ignore. 

Jisun and you fall into easy conversation between the calm buzz of the bookstore and her helping whatever customer needs it. You move to sit beside her behind the counter, to free up space. She tells you all about the planning being done by her mother for her upcoming wedding. Her engagement to the eldest son of the town's pottering family, Kim Doyoung, happened sometime this past winter. Jisun was over the moon when he had asked for her hand; you remember her crush on him from your school days. He was set to take over the family business in two to three years due to his father's declining health. 

"I'm thinking late summer or next autumn, because of the weather. My mother wants it to happen as early as possible, but Doyoung and I are okay with waiting a bit longer. His mother is fine with whatever I decide, she's truly wonderful." 

"I'm sure everything will work out. I just can't wait to atten– your response is cut off by the bell above the door chiming to announce a customer, your and Jisun's eyes snapping to the door. 

To your utter horror, Jeon Wonwoo enters the bookstore. 

You duck behind the counter quickly, praying he hasn't seen you yet and clutching your headscarf so it obscures your face better. 

Jisun gives you a confused look but you wordlessly plead for her to act normal, breathing a sigh of relief when she turns to greet the doctor. 

"Welcome, Dr. Jeon! I wasn't expecting you today."

You're glad Jisun is a better actress than she seems. 

Wonwoo returns her greeting and asks about the store. To which Jisun replies; "It's been fine, not too busy and not too slow." 

"How's Doyoung's father? I understand he's been taking his medicine diligently, but I haven't got around to seeing him yet as I was in the office all afternoon." 

She offers the doctor a smile, "He's doing much better, thankfully. We're all really grateful to you, Dr. Jeon." 

"Please, call me Wonwoo, I prefer to be 'Dr. Jeon' during work hours." 

Jisun smiles, "Of course."

Your squatting position soon becomes uncomfortable but you'd rather die than show yourself now, so you continue to listen to the two converse. 

"And the wedding? I know you've been planning." 

"Well, nothing is set in stone yet, but Doyoung and I are thinking perhaps late summer or even early autumn. Fret not, you and Seungkwan absolutely have a place on the guest list." 

"Looking forward to it then. Sorry to take up so much time with small talk, your father has a medical textbook saved for me. I told him I would be by this morning but I was a bit too busy." 

"I see, it's likely in his study then. I'll be just a minute!" She replies before turning around to the back of the bookstore, shooting you a wary glance before she disappears. 

You hear Wonwoo hum quietly to himself as he waits, and you silently pray for Jisun to make haste. Your legs are burning, not only from the weight of your body but also mostly due to the weight of your deceit. No matter, you cannot possibly let Jeon Wonwoo see you. 

"Here it is!" Jisun announces cheerfully as she returns, holding up the thick book with two hands and a sense of pride. 

"Thank you, Jisun. How much do I owe?" 

Jisun calculates the total along with a hefty discount sparing no room for argument, before wrapping the book up and handing it to the doctor. 

"You take care now Wonwoo! I'm sure I'll see you soon." Jisun says as she bids him farewell. 

You breathe a sigh of relief at the bell chiming, and the sound of the door closing. Grabbing onto the counter you hoist yourself back to standing much to the torment of your legs. 

"What was that about?" Jisun asks with a confused look as you wince and massage your knees. 

You open your mouth to respond but Jisun continues; "Don't you dare say 'nothing'." 

"I don't want him to see me." You admit, looking at your feet. 

"Why not?" She seems incredulous at your confession, "Is it because of your scar?" 

Your hand instinctively reaches to touch the long scar that runs through your left eye and down your cheek. The scar that "marred" you, the one that made people look twice, the only thing that prevents you from finding love. 

You sigh before giving Jisun a hollow smile, "I have to fetch Silas soon. I'll tell you more later." 

And with that you wave to Jisun and make your exit. 

The reminder of your scar brings awful memories back to the surface of your mind, and they are all you can think about as you walk to the schoolhouse.

Early Summer (Two Years Prior)

"Darling, is your sister ready? The Baes will be here any moment!" 

Your sister hurriedly pulls the curlers from your hair, and runs a brush through them. "Give us forty seconds Mama!" She looks you over in the mirror before giving you a reassuring smile, rushing to pick up the discarded curlers. 

"You look beautiful! Now go see Mama, quickly!" 

You meet your mother in the kitchen and she gives you a once over before kissing your cheek. "My lovely girl." 

Your mother instructs you on when to join them at the table after the Baes arrive and to bring the persimmons she's already cut with you. Figuring you still have time, you move to your sister's room where your nephew is playing. 

"Hi Silas." You say softly as you find a seat next to the boy. 

"Hi Auntie, what happened to your special meeting?" He asks with a tilt of his head. 

"The special people aren't here yet so I came to say hi one more time." You reply, pushing his hair out of his face, it was getting so long. 

You and your nephew chat for a bit more until the commotion from the front of the house draws away your attention; the Baes have arrived. 

The Baes were a modest family, a mom, a dad and two children, one boy and one girl. They owned the town jewelers, and were surprisingly well known. Bae Giwoong, the head of the family, was skilled with his hands, creating beautiful pieces that complimented anyone. Paired with a wife that had vast knowledge on jewels and precious stones, they had done quite well for themselves.

Hyunsik, the son, had come in earnest with his family to potentially ask for your hand. You were quite nervous, but seeing as your sister had married almost four years prior and had Silas, it was only natural that you were thinking about marriage as well. 

The meeting was dragging on. You had presented the persimmons just as your mother had instructed, before taking your seat at her side, across from Hyunsik who you offered a polite but reserved smile. He did not return it, only glancing at you briefly before returning his attention to the conversation between your father and his. 

Soon, the chatter dwindled and the Baes announced their leave. Your father convinced Mr. Bae to have a cigar with him just outside the house before they departed. You busied yourself with clearing the table of the used forks and now empty cups of tea your mother had prepared.

After your tidying, you swiftly move through the house to the window at the front of it, intent on eavesdropping. 

Peering out you see the son and father chatting amongst themselves, your father probably in his study to fetch the cigar he promised Mr. Bae. Leaning closer to the ledge you're able to hear the two as they converse. 

"They're a good family, what do you think of her?" Mr. Bae asks. 

"They seem to be," Hyunsik agrees, "She's adequate, I suppose. If only she didn't have that unsightly scar," he continues. 

Your heart drops into your stomach at his words, as your hand unconsciously reaches to the scar. 

His father mulls over his words with a hum before replying; "You'd have to keep her under lock and key, the poor girl's mangled." 

The dread in your stomach hardens and you want nothing more than to stop hearing these harsh words, but you are frozen in place. 

Hyunsik nods in agreement, "It's really a shame. I'd be able to overlook it if it were anywhere else, I just can't imagine waking up to that face every morning."

You feel the tears before you register that you're crying, and the sensation is enough to knock you back to consciousness. You stand hurriedly and make your way to your room before anyone can see you in this pathetic state. 

 You pretend. In the day you are just yourself, getting errands done and living day to day. You pretend to agree, when your mother tells you that Bae Hyunsik would not be asking for your hand due to the fact that he believes you two wouldn't be compatible. At night you are inconsolable, crying into your pillow until your tears eventually put you to sleep. 

Silas senses a shift in your mood, but as a three year old he only does what he can. Seeking attention whenever you're sitting idle, laying his head on your lap while you stroke his hair. His little hands playing with your free one. 

Eventually, you learn to move on. As does Hyunsik when he marries the eldest daughter of Lee's dairy farm. 

His words, however, will stay with you forever. 

Drawn out of your memories by the clanging of the schoolhouse bell you quicken your pace, keeping eyes out for your nephew. He appears within a few moments, his own eyes searching for you. You wave to him when he finally finds you. 

"How were classes?" You ask as the boy bounds up to you, reaching to smooth his unruly hair. 

"Good!” He chirps, before launching into detail about his afternoon. Keeping the two of you entertained as you follow the road home. 

The days that follow glide by until eventually they all bleed into a week, a week since you’ve seen the young doctor. Your deliveries go as well as can be expected, though they have been slowing down, and your father is busy preparing the year’s saplings. Silas has gone off to visit his paternal grandparents who live a few towns away, your sister going along despite her relationship of apathy with her in-laws. She did say something about Henry’s younger brother finishing his woodworking apprenticeship so she was expected to be present. 

You find yourself bored without your small friend but find time to chat with Jisun every now and again. Miraculously you haven’t run into Wonwoo at all, though you’ve caught glimpses from afar and he has not gotten any less handsome. 

At dusk your mother finds you with a basket in her hands. 

"Did I forget a delivery?" You question eyes falling to the vermillion fruit. 

"No dear, your father is out with the trees still and it slipped my mind that I had promised Mrs. Lee these. You know her youngest just got engaged," She explains. 

"Ah right I had forgotten. I'll take care of it," you reply, taking the basket from your mother's hands and pressing a reassuring kiss to her cheek. 

The walk to the Lee home is not long, but it is closer to the town than to your own home. You greet the few townspeople you come across on the way, offering them small smiles and polite nods. 

The greetings have you in a good mood so you have a little more pep in your step as you bound up the Lee family's porch, curling your fingers around the knocker when you make it to the door. 

"Coming!" You hear a girlish voice say, followed by the sounds of the door unlocking. 

With a slight tug of the door inwards you come face to face with Lee Daeun, the eldest Lee sister, one hand laid on the wood while the other cradles her very pregnant stomach. The polite smile on her face slips when her eyes flash with recognition. 

"I had assumed your mother would be dropping by, not…..you." 

You offer a shrug, "Mother sent me instead, sorry to disappoint." You reply jokingly, trying to ease the tension. 

Daeun doesn't respond right away, choosing to study you for a few moments. The silence becomes awkward quickly so you try your best to remedy it. 

"Congratulations to your sister, what a joyous occasion for her. And to yourself, I didn't know you were with child." You say with a warm smile, probably the most genuine thing the two of you had exchanged thus far. 

You hold out the basket to her, which she takes sliding it up her arm so it rests in the crook of her elbow.

"Yes, well, our family is quite satisfied with her fiancé. He's the son of an artisan, and they live a few towns eastward." Both her hands now rest on her stomach, "As for this one, it's only been a few months. Hyunsik is over the moon, and Momma insists on keeping me inside for the time being, so I don't get out much." Daeun's eyes seize you once more before she continues; "And yourself? I know your family has been searching for suitors, any success?" 

She may as well have doused you in cold water with the way her tone becomes icy. 

"Unfortunately not. I'm not too worried though, I know finding a suitable bachelor can take some time and I'm nothing if not patient." 

A scoff escapes her at your reply. "Worried? I feel you should be rather embarrassed. My youngest sister, a girl who we both watched play with mud when we were all children, is now engaged. Meanwhile you continue to age with no partner to call yours, as well as toting around your poor nephew pretending he's your own. I think it's time you face reality, nobody wants a scarred wife no matter how pretty she is." 

You are stunned into silence, fists clenched and nails biting into the skin of your palms. Every cell in your body fighting the urge to cry at the venom Daeun had spat at you for seemingly no reason at all. 

"Give your parents our family's thanks." Is the last thing she says before shutting the door in your face. 

You stare at the door for a few moments, tears starting to blur your vision, before you turn and hurry away from the Lee's home. 

Hot tears are blurring your vision as you head in the direction opposite your house. You want to find somewhere quiet to cry your eyes out before heading back to your residence and pretending everything is fine and dandy. 

Reaching closer to town, you stumble across the fountain just behind the main street, tucked between a few trees. A veranda shielding it from the setting sun with vines of wisteria weaved through its wood. The flowers are nowhere in sight as their blooming season is still a ways off. You, however, are too busy crying to care much about wisteria.

Shakily you manage to sit at the fountain's edge before your body is wracked with your sobs. Fingers fumble to pull the knot of your scarf resting against your chin loose, and once the fabric comes free you bury your face in it, your tears never once stopping. 

You don't know how long you sit there crying, removing your face from your tear stained head scarf every so often to breathe. 

A soft voice is the thing that finally brings you back to reality, and there before you with worry etched into his wrinkled brow is Jeon Wonwoo. 

Your mind blanks at the sight of him, and it feels as if someone has stuffed cotton in your ears as Wonwoo's lips move but you cannot hear a word he utters. His concerned frown deepens as he gets no response from you, leaning closer. It's as if all the blood in your body rushes to your head and you feel yourself falling backwards as if someone had grabbed onto the back of your dress and yanked. 

Wonwoo cries in surprise as he watches you fall towards the water, arms reaching out to grab you. The sound kicks your brain into gear, it's too late to stop your descent but you throw your hands back to catch yourself. A loud splash echoes through the small area before you are engulfed in the sensation of cold water drenching your skin and clothes. Wonwoo as he lunged to grab you had also met with the fountain water, his hands and forearms submerged, and his body leaning over top of yours. 

Silence buzzes between the two of you as the only thing you can do is stare at each other. It's only then do you truly realize the situation that you've found yourself in. Wonwoo's face is mere inches from your own and the only thing you can think is how much more handsome he looks up close. His strong jaw, sharp nose, and the flecks of honey that swim in the brown of his irises. 

You notice him studying your own face, and as his eyes drift over to the left you remember why you were crying in the first place. Your hand snaps up to cover your scar and this is what seems to break the trance between you and the doctor. Wonwoo can feel the blood rushing to his ears as he scrambles back to his feet, bowing his head and offering apology after apology.

 When you don't respond his eyes meet yours, and he notices you have not made any attempt to remove yourself from the fountain. Your green dress is bunched up over your knees, the fabric now dark due to the water, and your patterned head scarf still gripped in hand. 

Wonwoo's face still feels like it has been set ablaze but he offers you both of his hands, "May I?" 

You nod shakily before he leans over and your hands reach up to grasp his own. He pulls you firmly, but not yanking, and even lets one of your hands go to loop an arm around your waist for a more secure hold. 

You notice how firm his body feels against yours and how much taller he is than you'd thought now that you're practically pressed together. Heat rushes to your cheeks. 

Wonwoo slowly removes his arm from your waist and his hand from yours, taking half a step back to give you some (much needed) space. 

"Are you alright? I feel awful about startling you, but I heard the crying and wanted to know if you were okay." 

"I'm fine," you reply, voice small, "my apologies for getting you wet." 

The doctor's lips twitch and you feel perhaps he wants to laugh at you. You wouldn't fault him, you are soaked to the bone, rivulets of water running down your legs beneath your dress. 

"Water under the bridge." 

You almost giggle at that, but duck your head down and compose yourself quickly. 

Wonwoo continues; "Would you mind walking with me to my practice? I live right above it, and would feel better if I could get you into something dry before escorting you home. I know you live a bit out of town." 

Before you can respond Wonwoo must have realized how he sounded. 

"I know because you left me the persimmons and I treated the young boy, though I didn't see you there. I have seen you around town with him though, just briefly of course, completely coincidentally. I don't go out of my way to catch a glimpse of you here and there. I promise, I'm not a strange person." Wonwoo rambles in an attempt to clear the air, though you're not sure it needed clearing in the first place. 

The space above Wonwoo’s office is quaint, what it lacks in size it makes up for in homey-ness. Books piled neatly from where they spill out of the bookshelf, a warm armchair nestled right beside it. A dining table with one chair, both a dark cherrywood, sits against the wall adjacent to the small kitchenette. There’s a small wood-burning stove that looks well loved. Everything in the space feels very Wonwoo to you. 

Speaking of, you can hear him rustling through the drawers in the other room. He ushered you in despite your protests, not wanting to drip all over his home. Once inside he disappeared for a moment, reappearing with a towel clutched in his hand, and then layed it across the floor in front of you. “Since you feel so strongly about not getting my floor wet,” he’d said, before disappearing once more. 

You fiddle with your fingers, still drenched to the bone, as your clothes drip drip drip onto the towel. 

Finally, Wonwoo exits the room, pulling the door closed behind him with a bundle of clothes tucked safely in his other arm. 

“I’m sure they won’t fit like a glove, but you’re likely grateful for dry clothes either way.” His tone is a bit teasing, and you can only nod in response with your ears feeling hot. 

“The bathroom is just opposite of my room,” He says, passing over the clothes to your hands, “take your time. It’s just about dark so I’ll be sure to walk you home. You can call your parents, or husband, when you’re dressed. I have a phone.” He continues. 

The ‘husband’ comment makes you bristle but you decide to clear the air with Wonwoo at a later time, desperately wanting to get out of this wet dress.

“Thank you,” you reply softly, and turn to scurry into the safety of the bathroom. 

You get dressed quickly, not bothering with your undergarments. You’d rather have wet undergarments than be bare underneath clothes that don’t even belong to you, the thought flushes your whole body with heat. 

Wonwoo directs you to the phone, it rests on a side table next to the armchair,  and you dial your house phone with urgency, despite the slowness of the crank dial. The line rings for a few moments, and as you hear the other line click “Mother?” tumbles from your lips. 

Your mother says your name with surprise, “Darling where are you? Are you still at the Lees’?” 

“No, something happened on the way home. But I’m with Doctor Jeon, you know Doctor Jeon? He treated Silas when he had that god-awful fever. Well, he helped me out, so I’m fine. He insisted I call you before he accompanied me home, so I was just letting you know Momma.” 

You listen to your mother talk for a bit more before you bid her goodbye, her voice ringing out a “Be safe on your way home!” before you set the receiver down. 

“Thank you for letting me use your phone, and for the clothes,” you say to Wonwoo, who sits across the room from you in that dining table chair. 

“Of course,” he replies, “now let's get you home.” 

The small talk as the two of you walk the path to your family home is pleasant enough. You find that Wonwoo has somewhat of an eclectic sense of humor, and he’s quite witty despite the seriousness of his profession. In no time your home is visible, and you feel a tinge of disappointment at its sight. 

“Well, I suppose this is where we part,” Wonwoo sighs as the two of you stand in front of the gate of your home. 

“I suppose,” you echo.

A long pause ebbs between you both as you gaze at each other.

Suddenly you feel a jolt go through you as you have a realization. You’d forgotten your dress on the floor of his bathroom. 

“My dress,” you say bashfully, “I left it in your bathroom.” 

“That’s okay, I’ll get it washed for you. You can come by the office in the next few days, I’ll have it nice and clean.” He assures you with a soft smile. 

“Thank you,” you reply. 

Before you can turn to leave Wonwoo continues; “I haven’t seen your boy around, Silas was it? How’s he fairing these days?” 

You offer the doctor a tight lipped smile, “His father took him to visit family a few towns over.” You think you have to clear this misunderstanding up before it's too late. 

“Also, he’s not mine. Silas, I mean, he’s my sister’s son. I’m not married, I’ve never been.” 

“I see,” Wonwoo replies, and you feel you may have offended him somehow at his tone but he continues; “That’s good then, I felt I may have been acting inappropriately towards you. Thinking you were married and all.” 

“I didn’t think you were acting inappropriately at all.” 

“That brings me relief. Then you won’t think me telling you how lovely I think you look would be inappropriate either? Considering you’re unmarried.” 

You feel your ears are deceiving you, because surely Jeon Wonwoo didn’t just say he thinks you look lovely. But as you gaze at his face, a handsome smirk paints his lips, perhaps your ears work just fine. 

It seems your mother has never had a more perfect sense of timing as she swings the front door open shouting your name. 

You tear your gaze away from Wonwoo to call back to her; “I’m here! No need to shout.” 

You hear her footsteps as she makes her way to the gate, shooting Wonwoo an apologetic glance. He offers a soft smile in response. 

It isn’t long before you hear the rattling of the gate lock and your mother’s voice again “Honey, what are you doing loitering around outside…“ Her words trail off as she takes in Wonwoo standing across from you. Her gaze flits between the two of you, pausing at your state of dress; a linen shirt and black trousers that were a few sizes too big. Despite her obvious shock your mother paints on a lovely smile and bows her head in greeting to the doctor. 

“Oh my, Doctor Jeon, I had forgotten you’d be accompanying her home! Thank you for helping my daughter out, you’re quite the gentleman.” 

You shoot your mother an incredulous look, not wanting her to embarrass you further than you yourself already have. She ignores you, of course. 

Wonwoo bows his head with a smile, “Not at all. It was my pleasure, your daughter has quite the interesting personality.” 

“Doesn’t she? We have no idea where she gets it from, there’s no one like her in the family.” 

You assume your mother is trying to rope Wonwoo into having something to eat by the glint in her eye so you jump in. 

“I’m sure Wonwoo would like to head home, Momma. He has a bit of a walk back into town.” 

“Do you?” She turns to him, “We’d hate to keep you.” 

“I have some time,” Wonwoo assures her, “there’s no one waiting for me at home.” 

You can’t help but feel betrayed by Wonwoo’s choice to indulge your mother. 

“Really? Have you eaten? Let me pack some food for you to take!” 

And before any of you can say anything, your mother has Wonwoo’s wrist in her grip gently leading him through the front gate and to your house. 

You run a hand down your face before following. 

Your mother leads Wonwoo through the house, through the living room, to have him sit on the ledge just outside the living room doors that open up to the garden. 

“Now you wait right here,” your mother tells him, “I’ll have my daughter fetch you a drink while I pack up something for you!” 

“Thank you,” Wonwoo replies. 

She eyes you meaningfully before grabbing your arm to drag you to the kitchen. 

“There’s some cold yuzu tea in the fridge, take him a glass please.” She sets a medium sized cup onto a saucer, and you recognize it as a part of the china set your family typically uses for important guests. It’s white with some foliage painted on the side. 

You follow your mother’s command as she busies herself with packing side dishes, reaching past her into the fridge where the pot of yuzu tea sits. 

After pouring a cup you garnish it with a rosemary sprig you pluck from the plant sitting on the kitchen’s windowsill. You're careful not to spill as you make your way to where Wonwoo waits, your pace slow. 

He gives you a kind smile as you set the cup and saucer in front of him, thanking you in a soft voice. 

“Your mother made this?” He asks, after having a sip. The tea is quite refreshing, and it's probably one of the best yuzu teas he’s ever had. 

You shake your head. “I made the pot this time, usually whoever finds it running low makes it, between me and her of course. My older sister can’t brew tea to save her life, she takes after father.” 

“Well, it’s delicious. I suppose you’re quite the master when it comes to brewing tea.” 

You shake your head again, bashfully. You feel small under Wonwoo's fond gaze, not sure what is the appropriate way to act when he's showing you such kindness. The two of you sit in comfortable silence, with Wonwoo sipping at his tea and you trying to discreetly study his face. You know you've thought this before but he really is quite handsome. 

"The garden is beautiful, I don't think I've seen one built in the middle of a home like this before." 

"My great-grandfather built this house," you reply, moving so your body is parallel with Wonwoo's, both of you facing the open space. "He traveled a bit with my great-grandmother and when they built this house they took inspiration from some of the homes they stayed in on their travels." 

"I see." He replies, setting his now empty cup down, his knuckles brushing the side of your hand as he does so. 

You pull your hand away, as if burned, and heat flushes your body. 

Wonwoo doesn't comment on this thankfully but you think you see the edge of his lips twitch. 

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Your mother's voice rings out. Walking to where you and Wonwoo sit with the containers of food wrapped up in an orange cloth. She sets it between you and Wonwoo as she kneels.

"I don't know what you like, so I added a bit of everything! I snuck in a couple of persimmons as well, we have more than enough." 

"Thank you kindly," Wonwoo says sweetly, giving your mother a smile. 

"It's no trouble dear! And don't worry about the containers, I'll have this one fetch them from you whenever." She says, motioning to you. 

"Well, thank you again. I should be getting on my way now, I've overstayed my welcome it seems." 

"Oh not at all!" Your mother pats his arm, "We're always happy to have you Doctor Jeon. My daughter will see you out, don't be a stranger now!" 

Wonwoo gathers the cloth in his fist, and the cup and saucer in his free hand. You take the china, passing it to your mother before leading Wonwoo back towards the entrance of your home. 

Soon you are in the exact same setting you were when you had arrived; you and Wonwoo standing across from each other at the gate. 

"My apologies for my mother, she's the type to flit around even if you tell her to sit still." 

"Not at all. She's quite the character, but I can tell she's also immensely kind. I now know where you get it from." The smile on Wonwoo's lips is teasing and you think about how nice it is to have someone compliment you. 

After a few more short moments of small talk you urge the doctor to be on his way. The sun had already sunk low behind the horizon and the path back to town settled in darkness. You hurry to grab him a lantern, just to help him light his way home, as the roads would absolutely be dark until about halfway into town. 

Wonwoo promises to make it home safely, and he watches you enter your house before turning and making his way to his own. 

Later that night you lay awake, palm pressed to your racing heart, replaying the moment Wonwoo called you lovely over and over again in your mind.

The next few days are spent with you staying busy, too busy even to go see Wonwoo for your dress. Pruning the persimmon trees and overall maintenance of the farm are the allotted tasks that fall to you. The workload is a bit heavy due to your sister and her family’s absence. 

You’ve taken to sleeping in Wonwoo’s linen shirt, his pants have been washed and folded, but perhaps selfishly, you can't bring yourself to part from his shirt. It smells like him, petrichor with a light musk and the hint of something floral. It's intoxicating and the scent lulls you to sleep better than any tea you’ve ever had. 

Sadly, you aren’t meant to hold on to the young doctor’s clothes forever. You have your mother wash the shirt, and find a bag to put Wonwoo’s clean clothes in so they can be returned to him. You intend to slip out quickly, but when your mother catches wind of your plans she rushes off to grab a few persimmons to send with you. 

“Please, he’ll be sick of persimmons at this rate,” you whine. 

She ignores your concern, slipping the wrapped fruits into your hand. “Nonsense! Nobody can be sick of persimmons,” she argues. 

Soon, you are on your way to the doctor’s office. Unfortunately, with the persimmons in tow. The walk to town is pleasant enough, and you get a sense of tranquility with nobody else on the path except for yourself and the occasional woodland creature that makes an appearance. 

You made a point to doll yourself up just a bit, wanting to leave Wonwoo with a better impression of yourself than last time. You don’t have high hopes, but perhaps just a hope that Wonwoo holds any feelings other than cordiality towards you. Your dress today is a dusty pink, and you’d found your sister’s rouge and applied a smidge to your cheeks and lips. 

The air is somewhat brisk, as it usually is in early fall, but the chill still makes you shiver slightly. Red and yellow tipped leaves sway in the crisp wind, it is undoubtedly autumn. Soon enough you are at the entrance of town, face burning with embarrassment as you catch a glance of the fountain, remembering the events that transpired there. 

Your pace quickens. 

As you come upon Wonwoo’s practice, you are surprised to see him waiting outside. Giving you a small smile and a wave when he notices you. 

“Good Morning,” he greets you with a honeyed voice.

“Morning,” is your soft reply, “do you always mill about outside this early?” 

This makes the doctor chuckle. “No, not usually. I saw you coming up the path from my window, so I figured it was only right that I came to greet you.” 

“Oh,” you try to fight the heat blooming on your cheeks, “I have your clothes, freshly laundered. Mother thought it pertinent to slip in a few persimmons even though I told her you’re probably sick of them by now.” 

The smile has not left his lips yet, and he reaches out to take the bag from your hand, fingers brushing against your own. “I could never be sick of persimmons,” he replies, “after all, everytime I have one I think of you.” 

The heat rushes back tenfold, you are beyond flustered and you think Wonwoo notices because of the way his lips quirk up. You feel your brain has been fried at just those few words and you struggle to form a reply.  Thankfully, Wonwoo takes pity on you, despite being the cause of your non-functioning state. 

“Your dress is upstairs,” he tells you, “I didn’t want it to get wrinkled so I hung it up as best I could. If you’d like, we could go upstairs and retrieve it or I can always bring it down to you.” 

“We can go upstairs,” your voice small as you reply, your heart fluttering shamelessly in your chest at the thought of being in Wonwoo’s cozy home once more.

The fluttering of your heart does not stop even as the two of you climb the steps.

You get a lovely sense of warmth when the two of you enter, and you look at the wood stove still kindling. Wonwoo guides you to sit in his armchair, disappearing to the area his kitchenette is. You watch him grab a resting teapot and pour whatever resides within it into a mug. The mug is then wordless placed in your hands, and you murmur a soft “thank you”. 

“Apple blackberry tea,” he explains, “I thought you might need some warming up from the chill.” 

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” you reply softly, “thank you.”

A small smile twitches at Wonwoo’s lips as he watches you cradle the mug and bring it to your lips to taste the tea. “Your dress is in the other room, give me a moment.”

You nod, taking another slow sip of the delicious tea. Both fruits pair surprisingly well, and it seems to be the perfect blend for a crisp autumn day. 

Wonwoo returns, your dress folded meticulously and resting in his hands. Despite how well worn it is it looks almost brand new, testament to his care of it.

“Oh, you didn’t have to go to all the trouble!” You stand to take the dress from Wonwoo’s hand, fondness swimming in your chest.

The man just shakes his head, “It was no trouble. It's something that belongs to you so I wanted to make sure it returned to you in an adequate condition.” 

You press the garment to your chest, your eyes meeting his. You try to think of what to say to convey your gratitude but nothing seems good enough. 

It's almost as if Wonwoo turns bashful under your gaze as he rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t intend to keep you longer, I would accompany you back to your home but unfortunately I have a few patients to see this morning.”

You snap back to reality at this, “Oh! Don’t apologize please, you’ve done more than enough for me, Wonwoo. I can make my way home no problem. Thank you again, for everything.” You give him a nod, walking past him to the door. However, before you can turn the knob you feel a hand at the crook of your arm, pulling you gently to a halt. 

Glancing behind yourself, you see that Wonwoo has stopped you. An emotion you can’t quite place swims within his eyes, and it just adds to your confusion. 

“Wonwoo..?” You say slowly, when neither of you has spoken for a stretch of moments. 

He uses his delicate grip on you to turn your body so you two face each other once more, and the hand on your arm raises slowly to hold your cheek. Suddenly, his thumb is rubbing against your scar gently. He whispers your name and you feel as if you’ve been caught in a trance, you can’t speak, move, or think. All you can do is breathe and feel Wonwoo’s touch. 

His eyes trace the lines of your face, before they find yours. “From this moment onwards, I intend to court you. If you’ll have me.”

His words stun you, a moment of silence passing between the two of you before it is broken by your mouth, moving faster than your mind can. “Yes, I’ll have you. Of course I will,” You say breathily. 

A smile tugs on Wonwoo’s lips and then he is leaning down to brush his lips over your scar, his hand falling from your cheek and finding your own. 

All in all lets just leave it at you and Wonwoo are not the frat party ‘crowd’. Which is why its such a surprise when you corner him at his student job at the campus library to ask if he’d go with you to an upcoming one. 

“Babe,” he sighs, trying to hold conversation with you while he shelves books, “why?” 

“Becauseee,” you’re practically whining at this point, not your best moment, “You saw me suffer through those awful fucking finals. All I wanna do is get pretty and then get blackout drunk! I deserve that much at least, don’t you think?” 

Wonwoo caves. “Fine. And this is only because I love you. Plus those finals were hell.” 

You let out a volume appropriate cheer, and wrap your arms around him. Leaving him with a; “Thank you, baby!”, and a wet kiss against his cheek. 

The party isn’t being held at the frat Mingyu is a part of, which honestly leaves Wonwoo with an uneasy feeling, but Mingyu and a few other friends promise to make an appearance so that calms his nerves a bit. 

The hours before the party are spent in your dorm room, a small and simple space that Wonwoo feels absolutely home in. Everything in it exudes a bit of you so he can’t help but love it here.

“How many obscenely short dresses do you own?” Your boyfriend asks from his spot on the armchair opposite your bed. Looking delicious in a pair of black jeans and a long sleeve black tee, a silver chain glinting from where it peeks out at his collar. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing his glasses for once, sleek silver frames that make him look stupid attractive. 

This is about the ninth or tenth dress you’ve tossed onto your bed all in the span of about fifteen minutes. 

“Not enough apparently, because I don’t wanna wear any of these.” You say as you turn to rifle through your closet once again. 

“You’re super hot, any of those dresses will have everyone in the room looking at you.” 

“There’s only one person’s eyes I want looking at me.” You reply, giving him a smile. 

“Well mission accomplished baby, I’m always looking at you no matter what you have on.” 

You end up choosing a dark green polo dress, clipping your hair up in a claw clip, and opt for gold hoops to match it as opposed to more dangly earrings. 

As for your shoes, they were already chosen for you when Wonwoo insisted you wear sneakers, telling you he refused to carry you if you wore heels tonight. 

With your hand in his, the two of you venture out of your dorm room and across campus to the house holding the party. Wonwoo had already wrapped the jean jacket he was carrying around your shoulders not even a few feet away from your dorm building. 

You stumble upon Mingyu pretty close to the frat house as well as a few friends; Soonyoung, Seungcheol, and Seokmin and their respective plus ones. Exchanging greetings and small talk the rest of the way there. 

The party is already going strong, people spilling out from the front of the home in clusters. A beer pong table set up across the yard from where the keg sits. Others talk and laugh with friends, and as well as couples, some canoodling and some doing things you would be too embarrassed to be seen doing in public. 

The group of you manage to enter the house, albeit squeezing past other party-goers. Wonwoo wants to find somewhere to sit, his hand never leaving its place on your low back as you navigate through the throng of bodies. Before he can get you guys a spot on a seemingly empty couch, Esther, Seungcheol’s girlfriend grabs your arm. “Come get a drink with me?” She asks with expectant eyes. 

You turn to Wonwoo who nods, “I’ll find us a spot.” And so you leave him with a quick kiss to his cheek, already missing the warmth of his hand. Esther gives you a smile and links your arms together before pulling away to find wherever they’re keeping the drinks. 

“Well, color me impressed.” Esther says as both your eyes land on the wide assortment of alcohol you find in the kitchen. The frat brothers of this house have seemingly spared no expense, considering the price of some of these bottles. 

“What are you having, babe? I’ll make whatever your heart desires,” She states, giving you a coy look as she rummages through the cabinets. 

She pulls out a silver drink mixer, equipped with one of those long stir spoons.

“Surprise me.” You reply with a smile. 

Esther, to no surprise, has a talent for making mixed drinks. You watch in awe as she mixes and shakes alcohol, she even catches the attention of the few people who have also come in search of something to drink. She makes Seungcheol’s drink first, claiming he’ll whine if she doesn’t bring him one and also he has boring taste so his choice is easiest. “I love everything about the guy,” she says, “but you can only watch someone order a rum and coke so many times.” 

For her own drink, she makes a mojito, “Just something to sip on, don’t wanna get drunk too fast.’’ Your surprise drink turns out to be a cosmopolitan, and she even makes Wonwoo a drink even though it's just whiskey on the rocks. 

“Have fun?” Wonwoo asks as you approach him with a wide smile. 

He’s found a couch with adequate room, and isn’t rock hard, much to his surprise. He looks just as good as he did in your chair at your dorm, but you quickly push the thought away. You quickly make yourself comfortable as you sit, snuggling up to your boyfriend’s side, his arm coming to rest across your shoulders. 

“Esther poured you some whiskey,” You say, handing him one of the two plastic cups you were currently holding. He’s quick to take it.

“That’s nice of her. What’s in your cup?” He asks with a raised brow, before taking a sip of his drink. 

“A cosmopolitan. It’s very yummy,” You reply with a grin, lifting the cup to your lips. "Wanna sip?" You ask as having one of your own. 

"Very kind of you, but I'm fine with this." He motions his head to his own drink. 

Cuddling up with Wonwoo only lasts for around fifteen minutes, Esther once again whisking you away, this time to dance. 

"I'm awful!" You protest, squeezing your body closer to Wonwoo, as if you could burrow any deeper into his side than you already were. 

She wraps both her hands around your bicep, pulling you to your feet with ease. "You're hot! All hot people can dance!" 

You want to argue against that but Esther is appropriately tipsy and probably won't take anything you say to heart anyway. Wonwoo has been silently watching this whole exchange with a smirk on his lips, and you shoot him a glance that means: 'You're just going to let this happen to me?'

Unfortunately for you his smirk widens. "Go dance, I'll keep an eye on you from over here." 

With your fate sealed you let Esther drag you to all the other moving bodies in the middle of the living room. A Beyonce track is currently pounding the stereo speakers placed around, and soon you and Esther are dancing more 'on' each other than 'with'. 

Through the chaos your eyes catch your boyfriend, who watches you carefully over the top of his cup. This whole night had been filled with tension between you and him, and you almost regret not staying in tonight. 

Although you are a terrible dancer, Esther makes sure you're having fun anyway, and soon enough your legs feel like they're about to give out. And you also have to find a bathroom. 

You manage to break free from your friend, who is more than happy to dance by herself. Though her boyfriend finds her anyway, you suppose it's Seungcheol's turn to be danced on. 

Remembering you'd finished the cosmopolitan Esther had made you, you take a small detour to the kitchen. Quickly fixing yourself a vodka cranberry, you rush off to find a bathroom. 

It isn't until you are upstairs and in front of a bathroom door that you realize you should've given your drink to Wonwoo to hold on to. The thought of bringing something you're putting in your mouth into the bathroom with you, especially a frat house bathroom makes you gag. 

Luckily, there's a small table holding a leafy plant that you can set your drink on. The hallway is deserted and you think the people currently using the rooms up here are probably too occupied with each other to steal a vodka cran. 

Much to your surprise the bathroom isn't as gross as you'd thought it'd be. There's barely anything in it decoration-wise and there's a bit of clutter on the sink but otherwise it's mostly clean. 

You unlock the door as soon as you're done with business, and find there's now a few people mingling about in the hall. Your drink is still exactly where you left it, tucked behind the plant so you grab it quickly and make your way back downstairs to find your friends. 

Wonwoo is no longer on the couch, so you scan the first floor to see if you can spot anyone you'd arrived with. 

Sipping on your drink you find it a bit more bitter than you remember but shake it off, you weren't a big alcohol person and you had put in more than enough cranberry juice. 

Spotting Soonyoung by his cropped blonde hair you watch as he heads towards the basement door arm and arm with Mingyu. The latter had mentioned the frat house had a game room with a pool table earlier so you assume that's where they're headed. 

"Soonyoung!" You call out as soon as you get close enough to where you feel he can hear you. 

He looks back, and grins widely when you make eye contact. 

"Hey! Wonwoo was looking for you earlier, but Esther said you had gone to the bathroom. He's down playing pool with them right now." He explains as you all make your way down the carpeted stairs. 

Just as he'd said your boyfriend was playing pool, leaning over to make a shot just as you'd spotted him. 

"There you are," he says looking down at you as you worm your way under his arm, slinging yours around his waist. 

"I made myself a drink and went to the bathroom, sorry I didn't let you know." 

Wonwoo shakes his head, "It's fine, Esther let me know. My girlboss can use the bathroom by herself." 

You giggle at his stupid joke, pressing your face into his side. 

The next fifteen minutes are spent watching the guys play pool while you and your other friends sit chatting on the seating scattered about. 

After taking the last sips of your drink a sudden wave of nausea hits you and you lean your head against Esther's shoulder. She stops talking with Seokmin's girlfriend to turn to you. "Everything okay?" 

"I think I had too much vodka," you respond, screwing your eyes shut as the feeling increases. 

Esther tells everyone the two of you are going to find a bathroom, noticing that there isn't one in the basement. Wonwoo moves to your side, but you assure him you're fine and you'd be back in a few minutes. 

Soon you're in the same bathroom that you'd been in not long ago, the ones on the lower level already occupied. 

"I'll wait out here! Holler if you need me to hold your back your hair or rub your back." Esther had said before you entered and locked the door behind you. 

The nausea hadn't subsided, and to add to that you had started feeling woozy. Quickly splashing water on your face with your eyes screwed shut you're unable to see as the shower curtain behind you slowly moves open. A figure stepping out of the tub and moving behind you. 

As you open your eyes a hand quickly clamps down on your mouth, and fear shoots through every part of your body. An arm locks around your middle with fingers clamping down on your forearm. 

The fear may have sobered you up some but you vision is going blurry and your tongue feels heavy in your mouth despite your urge to scream, even with the hand covering it.

You start to thrash as best you can but his grip on tightens, you can't make out his face even with the mirror across from you because of the hood pulled over his head. 

He presses his lips to your ear and a shudder goes through your body, tears forming in the corner of your eyes. 

"I've been trying to get you alone forever. You know it's not smart to leave your things unattended. That's okay though because thanks to that we can be together, just us two. Now be a nice girl, and you'll be just fine." He whispers, the arm holding your bicep moving to caress your thigh before beginning to pull the fabric of your dress up. 

A knock sounds at the door. "You good in there babe?" Esther asks, concern lacing her voice. 

The man curses, trying to ruck up your dress faster despite how your body fights him. Hearing your friend's voice gives you a bit more clarity and you try your best to move your mouth at an angle where you can sink teeth into his hand. With a move of your head you get the chance and bite as hard as you can, until you think you can taste blood. The man howls in pain and with your mouth free you're finally able to scream. 

Esther, realizing you're not alone, slams her fist into the wood of the door. Shaking the knob with all her might, she's screaming as well now. 

You lunge at the door, praying to unlock it fast enough all the while screaming for your life. The commotion has gathered a bit more attention as you hear more voices and more banging on the door. 

Just as your hand grips around the knob, moving to turn the lock, you're yanked back by your hair. His fingers wrapped around your hair clip, which slips with his tugging. You hear it clatter to the floor right before he delivers a slap to your face. You lose your balance from the force, body hitting the tiled floor, and feel the blood from his bitten hand streak across your cheek from the impact. 

All the while you're still screaming, and he gathers your hair up in a fist yanking to try and get you to; "SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

Your eyes are blurred by your tears, and before he can hit you again you hear the door behind you splintering. Wood pieces flying about, and a flash of black flying past you and at your attacker. 

You feel warm hands tugging you to your feet as you register the flash of black as Wonwoo. You can only hear the sounds of impact as your boyfriend's fists connect with the man's face. A wet crack and a roaring of voices is the last thing you hear before your vision goes black. 

Blinking back into consciousness has you under the glare of fluorescent lights. It takes you a minute to get your bearings, noticing the IV in your hand. You slowly sit up, your body stiff and sore, which gives you a little trouble. 

A glance around the room tells you that you've been out for any number of hours. In the chair across from you Esther dozes, curled up with her head against the armrest. Wonwoo sits in the chair directly next to the bed, also asleep but sitting upright. He has a split lip and bandages on his hands. 

The sound of the door gently sliding open quickly catches your attention. Seungcheol stands in the doorway, a paper cup in each hand. He gives you a look of relief, "You're awake." His words a whisper, and you nod in response. 

He finds a table to set the cups down, and moves to gently nudge Wonwoo awake. 

Your boyfriend blinks slowly, but he quickly snaps into consciousness once he realizes his setting. His eyes quickly move to you, and it's as if you can visibly see all the wound up tension in his body melt away. 

He's hesitant to touch you, to even say anything, but you decide for him. Slipping your fingers between his and squeezing gently. 

In the background, you can see Cheol waking Esther and leading her out of the room slowly, a hand on her back. 

Wonwoo's eyes never leave your face, and soon you feel shy under his stare. 

"How long was I asleep?" Your voice is incredibly hoarse, from all the screaming you suppose. 

"A few hours," he replies with his face pressed into your joined hands, "they're giving you fluids to flush out whatever drug that bastard gave you." 

Wonwoo's voice is shaky as he speaks and you feel as broken as he sounds.

You don't know what to reply, but he continues. 

"I'm sorry, I-I should've been there. I let this happen to you." 

You feel tears sliding down your cheeks, and a sob wracks your body.

Your boyfriend 's head jolts up and you're engulfed in his arms. You wrap your own arms around him, squeezing tight and crying into his shoulder.

"It's not your fault," you say as best you can through your tears, "never never it was never your fault."

"I'm sorry," he repeats, "I'm so sorry and I love you. I love you so much." 

You can only sob harder. "I love you, I love you. Please, Wonwoo I love you." 

Later, when one of the nurses comes to check on you, she sees you fast asleep. You and Wonwoo curled up together on that small hospital bed, arms tight around each other; as if the whole world would end. She turns and closes the door gently behind herself. 

Standing just outside the driver's side window, Cheol leans down to press a kiss against his girlfriend's cheek, and then let's the both of you know he'd be riding with Jeonghan, who he'd invited along.

The vice-captain gently pushes the boy next to him in order to fit his face into the frame of the window as well. He greets Esther with a wink and a grin before his eyes flit over to you. Heat blossoms on your cheeks as you give him a quick nod of acknowledgement, which he returns with a polite smile. You don't think you've ever wanted to curl up inside yourself more than at this moment.

Dinner is a pleasant affair, with lots of joyous laughter and delicious pieces of meat. Jeonghan is actually quite witty, and according to Seungcheol, just as sly. However, you didn't think that the night would end with you in the passenger seat of his car.

"Come on, it's barely out of my way." Jeonghan tries to reason with his captain as the latter helps his slightly tipsy, and incredibly giggly girlfriend into her car.

"It's fine, I already know the way so it'll be easier for me to get there and then head home." Seungcheol reasons.

You'd been standing between the two of them for a few moments while they argued over who should be taking you home. Attention being mortifying aside, you were cursing your parents for not pushing you to get your license when you had the chance.

"I can take the bus…" You offer, but trail off due to the looks on their faces, you sense you've said the wrong thing.

Jeonghan lets out an exasperated sigh, before he reaches towards you. Grabbing your hand he presses his keys into your grasp. "Just go get in my car, you can warm up there while I reason with this bonehead."

There was nothing anyone could've done to prepare you for the cream leather interior of Jeonghan's sparkling red SVU. Never in your life did you think you would end up in a situation that would land you in the front seat of this car.

Jeonghan is relaxed as he drives, one hand on the wheel while the other rests just behind you on the back of your seat. You can't help but find him attractive behind the wheel, not that he isn't already unbelievably beautiful on his own. Being the star of your university’s soccer team brought him enough popularity, and it didn’t hurt that he had such a pretty face. High cheekbones, sharp jawline, eyes that you couldn’t help but fall helplessly in love with. And oh god his lips, rosy pink and perfectly kissab-

Your name being called snaps you out of your wandering thoughts, a feeling of mortification sweeping through you. "Sorry, yes?"

Jeonghan's lips curl into a small smirk, and you feel as if he'd been peering into your brain the whole time.

"You said your dorm is by the library, is that west or east?"

"Oh sorry, the east library. They're right across from each other." You reply, hoping he doesn't notice the way you scrunch down into the warmth of the heated seat.

The SVU pulls into your dorm parking lot soon after, and you're quick to unbuckle your seatbelt. Jeonghan had driven up to the door, which you were grateful for. You turn to him and a shy smile gracing your lips as you thank him for the ride.

"Be safe on your way home." You say just before sliding out of the seat onto the pavement and shutting the door behind you. But hearing the sound of the window rolling down captures your attention and you turn back to face the vehicle.

"Enjoy the rest of your night, maybe I'll see you again."

There's a playful lilt to the boy's voice that makes your heart flutter.

"Maybe."

It's later, when you're about ready for bed, towel being rubbed over your shower damp hair that you realize. He hadn't driven off until you were safely inside the secondary door of the dormitory.

The squeak of your bed springs as you fall back on your bed, bounces off the walls. You clutch the now wet towel to your chest, thoughts racing through your head a mile a minute.

You don't know what you're feeling, but you also don't know if you're supposed to be feeling it for a guy you walked in on having sex with someone. You turn over, briefly going through the memories of that night.

So loud, the party had been so loud. Loudspeakers on blast you could feel the sound thrumming through your limbs. The swaying and grinding bodies occupied most of the free space within the living area and the air in the room bordered on uncomfortably warm.

Your roommate had dragged you along, chastising you for being such a "shut-in" and telling you to "let loose" as she'd put it.

"Come on! It's your freshman year, it's basically a trial year to have all the fun you possibly can without some parental figure breathing down your neck." She reasoned, waggling her french tips in your face. "Who knows, you might even find a boy to kiss~," her voice turned sing-songy, "maybe that's what you need to break you out of this uber boring shell of yours."

So you went. And it was miserable.

Before you could make it into the threshold of the front door a signature red solo cup was shoved into your hands. As if she could sense the confusion on your face, your roommate downed the contents of her own cup as she motioned for you to follow her deeper into the packed house.

"You're supposed to drink it, silly." She giggled.

The liquid inside was just a carmine red as the outside of the cup and had a sickeningly sweet scent of artificial fruit punch, you took a tentative sip and the burning sensation in your nose made you tear up.

"A little bit more, you'll get used to the flavor." She urged you, giving you a smile when you managed to gulp down a few more sips.

The couple hours after that were somewhat of a blur in your mind, but you vaguely remember taking refuge in the kitchen when your roommate disappeared on you.

It was a bit quieter than the rest of the house and had significantly less people. There were a few milling around and others came and went as they filled their cups with the various alcohol bottles placed on the counter tops.

You had found yourself a nice corner to stay in, phone clutched between your fingers as you texted your roommate vigorously. However, the fog clouding your mind makes it hard to form coherent sentences on your keyboard.

A voice pulls you out of your task, and you blink slowly as your eyes find the stranger's in front of you. He's tall and bulky, his husky tone matching his appearance.

"You look all cozy holed up into the corner there."

Shaking your head, you give a stuttered, "I-I guess."

He takes your reply as a chance to step closer to you, his hand reaching out to thumb the end of your sweater, soft yellow with a small embroidered star. "I like your sweater, s'pretty like you." He leans in a bit more and the harsh smell of cheap beer hits you.

Your response is garbled for a moment before you clear your throat awkwardly. "Thank you," voice wavering and your ears burning as you inch backwards, managing to shove your phone into your back pocket.

As he brings a hand up to reach towards your face fear grips your heart as your senses are overwhelmed. You freeze for a moment, but before his fingertips can graze your skin you push past him, ducking under his arm to bolt out of the kitchen.

Bodies collide with yours as you shove a path through the living room and up the stairs, praying that the boy isn't following you. The breaths that escape you are rapid and wheezy, air flowing through your lungs just as quickly as it leaves. Your hands grapple against the doorknob of the first door that you see and you throw it open in your haste.

The sight before you is enough to stop you in your tracks.

The lights within the space are dimmed and two bodies occupy the bed in the middle of the room. The girl's head is thrown back, her neck strained and eyes screwed shut as breathy whimpers and wanton moans fall from her lips. The guy above her is rolling his hips into her at a vigorous pace and as you rip your eyes up and away from that scene you're met with a gaze so ferocious, it rivals a panther.

His stare bores holes into you, the sharp amber glaring into your soul as he never once breaks his movement. A smirk tugs at his lips and it seems his thrusts grow even more vicious, his eyes never straying from yours.

The increased volume of the girl's sounds is what snaps you back to the reality of what you'd stumbled upon. White-hot shame floods through every inch of your body as you quickly yank the door shut, racing to the next, thankfully empty, room over.

Your back presses against the sturdy wood of the door, sliding down to sit with your head between your knees as you try to gain control of your breathing.

You'd ended up taking the bus back to your dorm that night, and your roommate giving you the cold shoulder in the days that followed. She ended up moving out that next semester. All in all it was an awful time and largely the reason why you'd avoided parties the rest of that year.

Jeonghan most likely doesn't remember, that's why he hadn't brought it up at all or even hinted at recognizing you.

The library across from your dorm is truly your solace.

You’d always loved going to the library as a kid, nose buried in a book, while your father’s was buried in the internet. Reading whatever you could get your hands on from the few hours you were there and feeling wholly disappointed when he’d come fetch you to head home. Libraries just radiated warmth and safety. So it was no surprise to find you holed away in some corner of the east library.

“Boo.” A monotone voice says from behind you. Your shoulders jump in surprise as you whip around to confront the person who’d invaded your bubble and nearly caused a heart attack.

The offender has a pleased smile on their lips and you reach out to smack their arm.

“That’s not funny Wonwoo.” You huff, turning away from him to return to the page of your notebook you were scribbling down notes on.

“It's kinda funny,” he teases, making himself home on the seat across from you. He fidgets with the various colored sharpies and mechanical pencils spilling out from your pencil case, not at all bothered with your intentional ignoring of him.

Sighing you finally relent, “Why are you bothering me, anyway? Don’t you have a job to do?” That last inquiry is met with a shrug from the male.

“I’m giving myself a little break, I shelved most of the returns and it’s not my turn at the information desk yet. It's kind of rude to say conversing with a friend is “bothering”.”

“You only came over cause your girlfriend has class right now,” You point out, to which he doesn’t deny, “also you have a student job, I’m pretty sure you can’t “give yourself” a break,” you continue.

Wonwoo pushes up his sleeve and pretends to check a watch he isn’t wearing. “Oh man, look at the time. I know you want me to stay and chat some more but I have to take over for Hana at the information desk. I’ll treat you to coffee next time, okay?” He doesn’t even wait for an affirmative before standing, giving you a wave goodbye as he disappears behind a bookshelf.

You roll your eyes with a smile before tucking your things into your bag.

You’d left the library a couple hours ago, wanting to grab a snack prior to heading to the science building for your afternoon health class. With your bag of strawberries and apple juice in hand you started the course to your destination. The snack you’d grabbed was reminiscent of part of a middle schooler’s lunch but apple juice always tastes better in a juice box, so you weren’t really bothered.

After catching a glance of a clock mounted on one of the walls you put a little more speed in your walk. This particular professor had always been a hard ass about punctuality, and you didn’t want to risk being late on the day she would be assigning partners for a pre-midterm project.

Speed, however, seems to be your downfall as you round a corner and collide into the body of another student.

Your forehead and nose takes most of the impact, yelping as the sting makes itself known. Their chest had to be made out of grade A steel. Your eyes trail up, and you’re greeted with Jeonghan’s carved-from-marble jaw and his concerned honey brown irises. He’s got his hands slightly raised, coffee cup in one hand and his phone in the other, both safe due to his reflexes.

“You okay?” He asks, nuding you to move to the side so as to not get caught up in the traffic of the hallway.

You nod, profusely apologizing, hoping your nervousness isn’t portrayed in your voice. Jeonghan assures you that it’s fine, seemingly more worried about you than anything else. Looking you over, his eyes linger on the strawberries and juice clutched in your hands and you think you see his lips upturn for a brief moment. You can’t help how flustered that makes you feel.

“I assume you’re in a hurry, so I’ll let you go. Be careful not to bump into anyone else.” He tells you, giving your cheek a gentle pinch, turning to make his way into the throng of students.

You stand still a few moments, watching until you can no longer see him, the feeling of his fingers on your cheek still present. Managing to snap yourself back to the reality of your tardiness you quickly make it the rest of the way to your classroom with no more accidents.

Slipping into your seat a whopping minute and a half early, a breath of relief escapes you. Your professor hadn’t even made it in herself, grateful she wasn’t here to witness the way you’d scrambled to your seat in a semi-panic. Most of your other classmates were there before you, sitting idly on their laptops or phones, waiting for your professor to arrive. The TA, who was organizing papers at the front of the room, announced that Professor Kim had a meeting that ran long and would be here shortly.

Eventually your professor makes it in and apologizes for her lateness. She quickly gets through the course material for the day and pulls up the partner list as the end of class nears.

You quickly scan the names, hunting for your own. It's nestled closer to the bottom of the page paired with the name 'Joshua Hong'.

You'd seen him, Joshua, a few times around campus. You'd shared a couple classes, and would sometimes see him in the library; head buried in his laptop screen and earbuds in his ears.

Anyone with eyes could see he was quite pretty, but you had every reason not to focus on that. You weren't in the market for a boyfriend, even if it sounded incredibly appealing, and you wanted a good grade on this midterm project.

A piece of paper is slid in front of you, numbers scrawled across it, and in front of you stands the boy plaguing your thoughts.

"My number, I figured you'd need it since we're partners and all. Unless you already decided I'd be doing all the work and you can't be bothered."

You shake your head as you pick up the loose leaf sheet, giving the blue-haired boy a small smile. "I'll do my share, we're partners after all."

Joshua is a reliable, and surprisingly kind project partner. You’re kind of glad that through whatever means you were paired with him. Offering well thought out insight and powerpoint skills, and even his apartment to work in, you have no complaints. So that’s where you sit, Joshua’s apartment, legs swinging to and fro on the island stool you currently occupy. The blue-haired boy had gone off to the bathroom a minute ago and wasn’t back yet.

The powerpoint is half-done and you’re double checking the information of your slides when the apartment door starts to rattle. You hear the sound of keys, so you assume it’s the roommate Joshua briefly mentioned. The lock clicks, the door eases open, and enters Jeonghan. The hand holding his keys shoving them into his track pants, his other lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face giving you an unobstructed view of his toned and sinewy torso as he steps into the entryway.

Heat flushes through your body as Jeonghan’s eyes flit over to yours, surprise flashing in them as he drops his shirt. He doesn’t seem as flustered as you even though you were staring at him unabashedly, and Joshua takes this moment to finally appear.

“Stop staring, weirdo.” Joshua says, and you think he’s referring to you before you realize his gaze is locked on Jeonghan. The boy turns to you and points his thumb towards the soccer player. “That’s my roommate Jeonghan, you can just ignore him though he’s not important.”

“Hey! For your information I’m very important, and we already know each other,” the brunette turns his attention to you, “hi cutie.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply before walking through the apartment, disappearing into what you assume is his room.

“Seriously, you can ignore him. He’s insufferable.”

“I have ears, Shua!”

Your presentation goes well without even the slightest hitch, and your grade in the class had honestly never looked better. You owe Joshua your degree.

Your weekly class-free day offered you the chance to get some sunshine this morning, doing a short walk around campus before you’d got a call from Esther. She’d wanted to introduce you to a few acquaintances of hers she was looking to run something with for a school event, and you’d agreed.

Esther, and her incredibly headstrong personality, sometimes sought out your opinion because she truly valued it. You were the person she trusted most in the world, even above the man she was going to someday marry.

“Your iced white mocha or other from your loving bestie.” She slipped the cup into your grasp, kissing your cheek in greeting.

“Don’t act like you don't know exactly how to order it,” you tease, giving her a smile.

She offers a shrug as she takes a sip of her own drink.

Slipping her arm through yours she leads you down the sidewalk, towards the campus center.

“They wanted to meet at a cafe but the weather’s so nice I suggested we meet in the courtyard, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t. It’ll be nice to soak up some sun after that project from hell. Who even assigns a pre-midterm project anyway, I think Professor Kim just hates our guts.”

The two of you indulge in a lengthy and varied conversation before Esther spots the small group of people waiting on you both.

“Hi,” she greets, taking a seat before she motions to you, “this is my friend.”

You offer the three girls a small smile and polite greeting.

The meeting goes well enough, and Esther seems pleased with their ideas and input. She’d been taking notes on the loose paper in her binder and tucks it away as the conversation shifts to just small talk, the main task out of the way.

One of the girls turns to Esther, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. “Your boyfriend is the soccer team captain right?” She asks, brow raised.

Your best friend nods in confirmation, “Yeah he is, why?”

“Well, does he know Yoon Jeonghan?” She continues.

An indescribable feeling twists in your gut as Jeonghan’s name is mentioned, but you try to ignore it and grab your drink to hopefully appease yourself.

“He and Cheol are really close, but if you’re trying to get me to introduce the two of you I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m pretty sure Jeonghan already has someone he likes.”

Jeonghan liking someone is news to you, but granted you aren’t that close to him. You’re more acquaintances through mutual friends than anything else.

“No, I don’t think he’s the type to sincerely like anyone,” the girl refutes.

You scoff internally, she doesn’t even know him.

“He does hook ups, not relationships. He’s probably just trying to get laid. Which is why I was asking about him in the first place, I wanna know if he’s as good in bed as some of my friends say he is.” She continues.

You decide you don’t like this girl, but all this information about Jeonghan makes the ominous feeling in your stomach grow stronger. You take a glance over at Esther and you can tell she’s holding back the curl of annoyance trying to make its way onto her face.

“Well I suppose your friends could get you in touch with him then,” she says while pulling up her sleeve to glance at her watch, “sorry to run off but I have a meeting with one of my professors soon. Bye everyone!”

Esther stands, lifting her bag up and setting the strap on her shoulder. She offers you her arm, and you say your goodbyes before walking off with your best friend.

"Do I have a giant sign that says Jeonghan's matchmaker above my head or something? Annoying." Your friend grumbles to herself as the two of you fall into step.

You keep quiet because you're not sure what to say.

The soccer field is a bit more ambiguous at night. Staring at it from the walking path that snakes around it makes it seem like somewhat of a liminal space, with it's dimmed lights and lack of moving bodies.

Oh, you spoke too soon.

There’s someone dribbling a soccer ball between their feet before they kick it towards the barren goal, shouting while they do it.

Moving a bit closer gives you the opportunity to recognize the person as Yoon Jeonghan, but he's too focused to notice your presence. You wonder what headspace he's in to be out here at this time of night but the rational side of you shakes the thought away before you turn, you should head home. Yoon Jeonghan is not your business.

"And here I was thinking we were close enough to at least say hi when we see one another."

The classic teasing tone that he seems to use quite often with you is there without a doubt.

You turn back to face him and the field, giving a shrug. "Didn't seem like the optimal time to say hi if I'm being honest."

He fixes you with a look you can't quite read before he motions for you to come closer. You oblige, figuring he probably can't see you well from where you stand on the sidewalk, and in seconds you two are standing a foot apart.

It's only then when you get a good look at his face. There's a sizable bruise blooming on the left side of his jaw coupled with a split lip and a streak of blood across one cheek. It takes a few moments to process the sight.

"Oh my god, what happened to your face?!" You exclaim once the gears in your brain start to turn again. You almost reach out to touch him but force your arm back to your side discreetly.

"You should see the other guys." He jokes, rubbing the back of his neck.

He notices his attempt to brush the subject at hand off doesn't work as he hoped it would, your eyebrows are still knitted and there's equal parts concern and confusion swimming in your eyes.

"Did you drive here?"

The question catches him off guard but he shakes his head no. He'd jogged to the field in a rage actually, where he'd taken it out on the poor soccer ball that sits inside the goal he'd kicked it into.

Your hand is now around his wrist as you gently lead him off the plastic grass and onto the sidewalk you'd been on earlier.

You know you & Jeonghan are basically little more than acquaintances but you can't very well ignore his busted face, you have to do something.

"You can clean up at my dorm, if that's okay with you? I know you live on the other side of campus and I can't very well let you walk all the way home looking like you do."

Behind you a small smile tugs at Jeonghan's lips before he's forced to drop it at the sudden pain that shoots through them due to the cut.

"I think it'd be better if you did this." Jeonghan suddenly confesses, gesturing to his face as he holds a peroxide soaked q-tip between his fingers.

You sigh before taking the q-tip and maneuvering the athlete to sit on the edge of your tub. Well, maneuvering him and yourself as best you can in the cramped space of your dorm bathroom.

"It'll probably sting." You warn as you move your hand to gingerly grip his jaw, minding the bruise.

The next three minutes are filled with silence, minus the few winces that he lets out at the beginning due to the peroxide. You apply ointment to his lip and a little on the bruise before wiping the blood on his cheek away.

" All done." You announce quietly, tossing the bloodied q-tip and wet wipe into the small trash can that sits under your sink.

"Maybe you should change your major to nursing, I feel better already."

You know he's teasing but you can't find it in yourself to banter with him right now. "You can shower if you want, I'll go find something for you to wear."

And with that you leave the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

It takes a few moments of rifling through your wardrobe before you find some of your dad's clothes that you'd taken, wanting something of him when you'd been a freshman leaving home for the first time.

You set the clothes just inside the bathroom, letting the man inside know what you were doing.

It isn't long before a freshly showered Jeonghan emerges into your view, with his hair dripping and body clad in your father's shirt and sweatpants.

"Oh! A towel, I forgot to leave you one." You shoot him an apologetic look before racing off to get one.

You return to see him sitting at the foot of the chair you were just occupying.

"I-" you start but pause to steel yourself, "I can dry your hair for you…...if that's okay?"

Jeonghan gives you a sweet smile, "It's more than okay."

You step around him to reclaim your chair and gently grab his shoulder to have him lean back into you. If someone had told you that you would be drying the hair of Yoon Jeonghan in your dorm one day you would have laughed in their face, but it's somewhat nice to see how your relationship with him has progressed to this point.

Jeonghan stays silent for the most part, basking in the feel of you massaging his head with the towel in your hands. It takes a few moments but soon he's overwhelmed with emotion and tears begin to slide down his cheeks in quick succession.

It doesn't take long for you to notice the sniffling sounds that come from the man sitting between your legs. "Jeonghan," your voice is soft, "can you tell me what happened?"

His hands move to his face, wiping at his tears, god he needs to compose himself. Why is he even crying?

"I got into it with some guys earlier tonight," he draws in a breath before continuing, "outside the library, your library. I guess one of them caught sight of you that day or something, but I overheard your name and decided to listen in. He was saying incredibly explicit things about you and I guess I just snapped. I don't tolerate that type of shit being said about people, it pisses me off."

There's a silence between the two of you before you sink to the floor behind Jeonghan, leaning your head against his back.

"While I admire you for that, I can't help but think how stupid it is for you to get in a fight over some idiot who can't help but mouth off. I'm really not worth the trouble this could have got you into."

Jeonghan tenses, and you wonder if you've said the wrong thing. Before you can speak again he moves, turning to face you.

"I used to be that guy. I used to only think of people as objects for my own pleasure, I'm sure I've said things about girls I was seeing like he said about you. I'm not blameless, but I'm a different person than I used to be. You're someone important to the people important to me, and by association that means you're someone important to me as well. So don't say that you're not worth defending, it's not true."

As his words sink in your eyes flit up to meet his and you find sincerity in his gaze, it makes you want to melt into the floor.

"You're someone I've grown to enjoy being around. So much so that I think I might be falling for y–

"Don't," you plead, clenching your fists and screwing your eyes shut, "don't say that."

You can picture the confusion that has probably replaced the sincerity on his face, and you almost flinch when you feel his hand on your fist, thumb stroking across the back of it. When he says nothing you continue.

“I hate alcohol, and I’m terrified of-” your voice drops in volume, “-sex. And I have nothing in common with the girls you've been with. So please, don't say you're falling for me.”

He says your name softly, making sure he has your attention when he replies; "I adore you. I want to know everything about you, and nothing you admit to me will make me turn my back on you. We can move at your pace, but please don't tell me to hide what I feel, that's something I won't do."

His free hand nudges your chin up, wanting to see your face, and you oblige by lifting your head.

"Tell me you want me too, please?" He murmurs, hands moving to hold your face in them.

You do, you want him so badly.

"I want you, Jeonghan. I want you so much." You reply, voice barely above a whisper.

"Can I," he pauses to compose himself lest he float out of his own body, "can I kiss you?"

You nod vigorously, almost feeling embarrassed at how eager you most likely look.

His nose brushes yours before he presses his lips against you, and you swear it melts your brain.

The kiss tastes faintly of pomegranate, adoration, and a hint of blood. You reckon that last bit is due to the split lip and you take note to mind it as best you can. But you think you would never be able to kiss anyone that wasn't Jeonghan ever again.

"You're it for me." He mumbles against your lips, and you smile into his.