#bee attack

BEES!

Ah! My son, help!

Uh oh....

Thought I’d draw a little something for the charity stream. Some of the egos helping plant trees for the environment and poor Anti trying to help but getting attacked by bees(it was his fault, not the bees). I’ve never drawn trees or grass before… .. but practice makes perfect, right? 😅 Got another one I’m working on with the other egos in it. Be sure to donate for the Environmental Defense Fund!

Alex Jones Says He’s Advising Trump About Google Censorship:  After President Trump took to Twitter to complain that his Google search results were showing negative content, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones came forward to say that he is the one behind President Trump’s new war against Google.  Oh, come on!  We have a world renowned, paranoid schizophrenic, conspiracy theorist advising a classic narcissist - and you’re telling me the best they could come up with was they’re unhappy with Google’s search results?  I don’t mind saying - that’s quite a disappointment!

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com 

Swarm of 20,000 Bees Attack New York City Hot Dog Stand:  Hordes of New Yorkers eagerly watched as a police officer used a vacuum to remove 20,000 bees that suddenly attacked a hotdog stand a block south of Times Square.  Wow, sounds like this hot dog stand has been generating a lot of buzz these days.  Wonder how in the hell they figured out there were 20,000 bees?  I guess they just count all the bee's legs and then divide by six.  Witnesses say that while police vacuumed - bystanders found it quite entertaining, but of course all the bees thought it really sucked.

 https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Man Severely Burned After E-Cigarette Explodes in Pants:  A man had to be treated at the hospital for burns after his E-cigarette exploded in his pants inside an Anaheim electronics store.  Egads!  As if that wasn’t bad enough, now he’ll have to head right back to the electronics store and pick himself up an E-penis.

so I was innocently taking my morning shit as per usual when i hear a buzzing sound, akin to that of a lawn mower or weed whacker or something of the like, and at first i ignored it thinking i was just hearing people mowing their lawns outside which they often do... but then i noticed the buzzing was fairly loud, as if a weed whacker was being used right outside the door... or maybe there was like, a small tiny weed whacker inside the bathroom?.....And then it occurred to me.

I look up to find a MOTHER FUCKING WASP FLYING AROUND THIS TINY ASS LITTLE BATHROOM WHILE I AM SITTING ON THE TOILET: EXPOSED, VULNERABLE, AND HELPLESS. A BEE. WITH A STINGER. IN EXTREMELY CLOSE QUARTERS. WITH MY BARE ASS.

and to make matters worse this demon is flying so fucking erradically, like the bitch is drunk and not sure if he wants to go home? or go knock obnoxiously on his ex’s door to try to get back together? maybe go back to the bar for a couple more shots? fucker just could not make up his mind on a goddamn destination so every time he changes directions i’m yelping and clenching my buttcheeks and praying to any god that will listen to spare my soul... and just a quick reminder: as you may recall, i wasn’t *finishing* my morning shit or *about* to take my morning shit. I was taking my morning shit when i realized what’s going on. so as you can imagine i am in the LITERAL worst position to escape this fucking nightmare.

needless to say, kids, I did manage to relocate my morning activities to another facility after some strategically timed wiping and a swift tuck and roll exit procedure.. but i really have to say that the whole experience took the phrase “naked and afraid” to an entirely new level of significance that i hope i never have to re-live...