As most of us look outside our windows and wish for the sunshine and warm weather, it is hard to imagine that in just four months we will actually be in Mukwonago basking in the sun and enjoying all the activities camp has to offer.  While there is still a lot of time left for packing, filling out forms, getting a physical, etc, it is never to early to start the emotional preparation for going away to camp.  As we move towards spring and the end of another academic year, thoughts about summer start to solidify and campers and parents (new and returning) are starting to experience a range of emotions.  Hopefully the predominant feelings are those of anticipation and excitement, but it’s also natural to be apprehensive and nervous.  While it may be challenging to deal with these often conflicting emotions, we are here as a resource and hope to provide you with some tips for how to deal with these emotions and set your child up for a successful summer.

Whether your child is a new camper or a returning camper, here is a list of some things to do with your camper in the next few months to get them more comfortable with going away from home and addressing some of the anxious feelings:

Spend time on bebercamp.com and youtube.com/bebercamp and go through photos and videos to get a feeling for activities, facilities, songs, etc.

If there is a Beber spring picnic in your area, ATTEND!!  This is a great way to meet some of the directors, get your questions answered and meet other parents and campers.

Spend time talking to your child about what camp will be like and listen to any fears or concerns.  Remind them that feelings of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety are completely normal.  A lot of children feel as though they have to choose being happy or being homesick.  Reassure your child that it is ok and totally normal to be happy AND miss home.  These two emotions do not need to exist separately. It is unrealistic to assume that camp is a place where we won’t ever struggle or deal with difficult situations.  There will be a blog post next month about how Beber handles homesickness and ways you can help as a parent.

Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest worries for children attending camp, so time spent at home “practicing” a typical day at camp may provide some reassurance and self-confidence.  For example, have your child practice some of their routines without your assistance: getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, reading in bed, picking out clothes in the morning, putting dirty laundry in a hamper.

If your child has not slept away from home before, the best thing you can do for them is to arrange sleepovers between now and the beginning of camp.  Have them get used to sleeping under a different roof – at a friend’s house, grandparent’s house, etc.  These experiences will stimulate feelings of independence and give your child confidence that they can cope with longer separations from home.

Involve your child in decisions regarding camp.   Have them help create a packing list or have them pick out their new camp shirt or luggage they want to pack in.

Talk about your communication plan with your child.  Remind them that they will not have access to phones but that they will be able to write letters, emails and faxes and that you will be sending them packages, letters and emails.  Help them create an address book with everyone’s contact information so that they can keep in touch with family and friends.  Sending pre-addressed, stamped envelopes and pre-written fax and email cover sheets is a great way to ensure that letters get sent!

Help your child create a little photo album of some of their favorite photos to bring with them.  They will be able to show their friends and counselors and tell them all about where they are from!

Younger brothers and sisters may become anxious about their sibling being away from home.  Make sure your younger children understand how they will be able to communicate with their sibling while they are away.  Show them photos of camp as well so that they can visualize where their sibling will be.

Be realistic.  Like the rest of life, camp will have high and low moments and your child may have some down moments.  Your child should not feel pressured to feel a certain way at camp (ie. happy all day every day) and remind them that their main goal should be to have fun.  Remind them that there will always be a counselor to talk to if they do ever feel sad.

Please communicate any issues with camp staff prior to the start of the summer.  If your child has a history of bedwetting, sleepwalking, night terrors, etc, it is extremely important that we know about this and can make an appropriate plan.  Your child may be extremely anxious that nobody at camp will know how to handle these issues and if we have a plan, we can communicate that plan with your camper and make sure they know what will happen and how we will handle things without parents’ presence.

Avoid the “get out clause”:  If your child asks a lot of questions about what will happen if they are really homesick, one good response is “there will probably be times when you miss us or something else from home, but that’s normal and the best way to deal with it is to do something fun and stay busy”.  AVOID making promises or statements that imply that you will pick them up if they are sad or want to come home.  These statements set your child up for failure and send a message that the only solution to a difficult and normal feeling is to be rescued by mom or dad.  It undermines your confidence in your child’s ability to cope with adversity.

Be positive! Let them know how proud you are that they are setting out on this adventure and how you share in their excitement.

As you become anxious, try not to transmit that feeling to your child.  Don’t emphasize the fact that you will miss them while they are away.  This may seem harsh, but the message here is avoiding the emphasis on that feeling.  Support words like “we will miss you so much” with “but we will be so proud and happy that you will be having so much fun and making new friends and learning new skills”.  Kids often internalize their parents’ anxiety and if your child is worried that you will be sad when they are gone, they may not be able to fully enjoy their experience.

One of the most amazing parts of my job is being able to travel and visit with our families and alumni during the year.  It is such a privilege to spend time with campers and parents outside the summer months.  It allows me an opportunity to catch up and see everyone in their home communities and to really learn more about how camp impacts everyone during the year.

I recently returned from Denver where we had our “Get Ready for Summer” community event.  It was such a fun afternoon of bonding, eating, playing games and talking about the fun and exciting new changes that are coming to Beber this summer.  It didn’t matter that it was April and we were at an Italian restaurant in Denver – we still sang Happy Birthday and skipped around the room; we played Hodgie Podgie in a circle and laughed as though we were all together in the Dining Hall in Mukwonago.  It always amazes me how quickly we pick up where we left when months have gone by without seeing each other.  The sense of community and family is so incredible and these year round events solidify the closeness that Beber provides to our campers and their families.

At the Denver event, we had campers of all ages, new and returning, as well as first year staff.  We even had camp parents who are also alumni of Beber.  In true Beber spirit, I witnessed an older returning camper introduce herself to a new camper right away and welcomed him into the Beber family.  I am so proud of how we as a community take care of each other.  On a personal note, I feel truly blessed that my kids spend their summers in a community filled with warmth, inclusivity and have the greatest campers on earth serving as their role models.

We love how our Colorado representation has grown over the years and we are so excited for our returning kids to be back at Beber and for our new campers to experience the true magic of Beber!

As most of us look outside our windows and wish for the sunshine and warm weather, it is hard to imagine that in just four months we will actually be in Mukwonago basking in the sun and enjoying all the activities camp has to offer.  While there is still a lot of time left for packing, filling out forms, getting a physical, etc, it is never to early to start the emotional preparation for going away to camp.  As we move towards spring and the end of another academic year, thoughts about summer start to solidify and campers and parents (new and returning) are starting to experience a range of emotions.  Hopefully the predominant feelings are those of anticipation and excitement, but it’s also natural to be apprehensive and nervous.  While it may be challenging to deal with these often conflicting emotions, we are here as a resource and hope to provide you with some tips for how to deal with these emotions and set your child up for a successful summer.

Whether your child is a new camper or a returning camper, here is a list of some things to do with your camper in the next few months to get them more comfortable with going away from home and addressing some of the anxious feelings:

1. Spend time on www.bebercamp.com and www.youtube.com/bebercamp and go through photos and videos to get a feeling for activities, facilities, songs, etc.

2. If there is a Beber spring picnic in your area, ATTEND!!  This is a great way to meet some of the directors, get your questions answered and meet other parents and campers.

3. Spend time talking to your child about what camp will be like and listen to any fears or concerns.  Remind them that feelings of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety are completely normal.  A lot of children feel as though they have to choose being happy or being homesick.  Reassure your child that it is ok and totally normal to be happy AND miss home.  These two emotions do not need to exist separately. It is unrealistic to assume that camp is a place where we won’t ever struggle or deal with difficult situations.

4. Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest worries for children attending camp, so time spent at home “practicing” a typical day at camp may provide some reassurance and self-confidence.  For example, have your child practice some of their routines without your assistance: getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, reading in bed, picking out clothes in the morning, putting dirty laundry in a hamper.

5. If your child has not slept away from home before, the best thing you can do for them is to arrange sleepovers between now and the beginning of camp.  Have them get used to sleeping under a different roof – at a friend’s house, grandparent’s house, etc.  These experiences will stimulate feelings of independence and give your child confidence that they can cope with longer separations from home.

6. Involve your child in decisions regarding camp.   Have them help create a packing list or have them pick out their new camp shirt or luggage they want to pack in.

7. Talk about your communication plan with your child.  Remind them that they will not have access to phones but that they will be able to write letters, emails and faxes and that you will be sending them packages, letters and emails.  Help them create an address book with everyone’s contact information so that they can keep in touch with family and friends.  Sending pre-addressed, stamped envelopes and pre-written fax and email cover sheets is a great way to ensure that letters get sent!

8. Help your child create a little photo album of some of their favorite photos to bring with them.  They will be able to show their friends and counselors and tell them all about where they are from!

9. Younger brothers and sisters may become anxious about their sibling being away from home.  Make sure your younger children understand how they will be able to communicate with their sibling while they are away.  Show them photos of camp as well so that they can visualize where their sibling will be.

10. Be realistic.  Like the rest of life, camp will have high and low moments and your child may have some down moments.  Your child should not feel pressured to feel a certain way at camp (ie. happy all day every day) and remind them that their main goal should be to have fun.  Remind them that there will always be a counselor to talk to if they do ever feel sad.

11. Please communicate any issues with camp staff prior to the start of the summer.  If your child has a history of bedwetting, sleepwalking, night terrors, etc, it is extremely important that we know about this and can make an appropriate plan.  Your child may be extremely anxious that nobody at camp will know how to handle these issues and if we have a plan, we can communicate that plan with your camper and make sure they know what will happen.

12. Avoid the “get out clause”:  If your child asks a lot of questions about what will happen if they are really homesick, one good response is “there will probably be times when you miss us or something from home, but that’s normal and the best way to deal with it is to do something fun”.  AVOID making promises or statements that imply that you will pick them up if they are sad or want to come home.  These statements set your child up for failure and send a message that the only solution to a difficult and normal feeling is to be rescued by mom or dad.  It undermines your confidence in your child’s ability to cope with adversity.

13. Be positive! Let them know how proud you are that they are setting out on this adventure and how you share their excitement.

14. As you become anxious, try not to transmit that feeling to your child.  Don’t emphasize the fact that you will miss them while they are away.  This may seem harsh, but the message here is avoiding the emphasis on that feeling.  Support words like “we will miss you so much” with “but we will be so proud and happy that you will be having so much fun and making new friends and learning new skills”.  Kids often internalize their parents’ anxiety and if your child is worried that you will be sad when they are gone, they may not be able to fully enjoy their experience.

As always, we are here to discuss your concerns about the summer and help you and your child prepare for the summer.  Please do not hesitate to call or email us with any questions.

As summer approaches, your child may be experiencing a flood of different emotions related to going away to camp - eager, excited, nervous and anxious about becoming homesick.  Research indicates that homesickness is the norm, and not the exception. It is completely normal for campers to feel some level of homesickness at some point during the camp session. The good news is that homesickness builds confidence. Overcoming a bout of homesickness and enjoying time away from home nurtures children’s independence and prepares them for the future. So, how can you help? By exercising a little preparation and patience, parents can help ease any anxiety and homesickness in their otherwise happy campers.

Here are some tips for you to help your child deal with feelings of homesickness and anxiety:

Encourage your child's independence throughout the year. Practice separations, such as sleepovers at a friend's house, can simulate the camp environment.

Involve your child in the process of choosing a camp. The more that the child owns the decision, the more comfortable the child will feel being at camp.

Discuss what camp will be like before your child leaves. Consider role-playing anticipated situations, such as picking out clothes in the morning or managing the bedtime routine without parent involvement.

Send a note or care package ahead of time to arrive the first day of camp. Acknowledge, in a positive way, that you will miss your child. For example, you can say "I am going to miss you, but I know that you will have a good time at camp."

Don't bribe. Linking a successful stay at camp to a material object sends the wrong message. The reward should be your child's newfound confidence and independence.

Pack a personal item from home, such as a stuffed animal or favorite pillow.

Never ever make a pick-up deal. Saying, “If you feel homesick, we’ll come get you” undermines children’s confidence and ensures they’ll be preoccupied with home from the moment they arrive at camp. Instead of making a pick-up deal, say, “I’m sure that if you miss home, you and your counselor will be able to work together to help you feel better. Camp will be a blast!”

Talk candidly with the camp staff to obtain his/her perspective on your child's adjustment.  It is critical that your child is getting the same message from you as well as our camp staff in order to help your child navigate homesickness and work through it.

Don't feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay at camp. For many children, camp is a first step toward independence and plays an important role in their growth and development.

Share your optimism, not your anxiety. Talk about all the positive aspects of camp and share your concerns only with another adult, such as your spouse or the camp director. Avoid giving your son or daughter a mixed message by saying something like, “Have a great time at camp. I hope I remember to feed your dog.” Giving your child something to worry about while she’s away will only increase homesickness.

Block out the camp dates on a calendar, so your child can put the separation into perspective.

  Things to Consider

While many children experience homesickness, most feel much better within a day or two. If you can handle their temporary discomfort, they will probably be able to handle it, too. Homesickness may be more pronounced if the family went through a recent loss or stressful period such as a death of a relative or marital separation.  Please make sure that camp staff know if there are any major transitions or changes in the family that may impact your child’s adjustment to camp. Homesickness, while uncomfortable, can make a child feel competent when s/he learns to overcome it.  We want to celebrate their ability to overcome these feelings of discomfort and the massive accomplishment of being on their own!