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starting with madoka magica, oh my word. you are a stronger soul than me
lol well the good news is I was late to the anime game so even though it was my first I was already in high school at least - also in fairness I had no idea what I was getting into everyone just kept talking about it so I figured I’d see what was up there 👍
time enough for counting (when the dealing's done)
McShep + Vegas fix-it, requested by @beautifulmonster. 2k, rated M.
Bad beat
John had always known it would end like this.
Well, the space aliens and the shady government organization had been a surprise. But the bleeding out, alone in the desert - yeah, that was always how he was going to go.
There’s a kind of dark satisfaction in seeing the world turn out exactly as shitty and brutal as you knew it would be. Called it.
His moment of sick vindication is interrupted, though, by a figure standing over him and peering down with cursory interest.
Sharp black suit, spotless even in the heat and the muck. Hands in pockets, head quirked in something that might be amusement. “Should have known you’d pull a stunt like this,” it says, and John would smirk at playing to type but the blood loss pulls him under.
Ante up
He wakes to pain. Vicious, lancing pain and the cloying smell of antiseptic and the beeping of monitors. He tries to sit up and his chest screams until he collapses back onto the bed.
Next to him, a slightly rumpled McKay is tapping furiously at a laptop. “Don’t go dying on me now, Sheppard,” he says without looking up. “I’ve got plans for you.”
Buy-in
The next time he wakes, the light has faded. It must be evening.
The hospital room - his own private room, he realizes - is nice. Far too nice for the local joint. Must be private. Must have cost someone a pretty penny. He would have told whoever it is to save their cash.
“You’re awake. Good.” McKay strides in, less rumpled now. Neat black suit back in perfect order. “I don’t have much time, so listen up.”
He tells John how they destroyed the Wraith target before he could get a message to his buddies in Pegasus. How this universe is safe, but the spacetime rift has sent that information echoing through other universes. How they’re putting together a team to visit these other universes; warn them, offer to help if they can.
How he’ll be leaving in a few hours to head up the program. How he thinks John might be able to help.
John blinks. His eyelids are sticky and his mouth is full of fluff.
“Why the hell would you bring this to me?”
McKay flashes him an enigmatic smile. “You did save the world. Maybe you’re more of a hero than you realize.”
On the flop
He gets unceremoniously booted out of the hospital a few days later, when it becomes obvious that he’s not going to die and whoever was bankrolling his stay isn’t any more.
His car is totaled. The money inside is gone. He’s got the clothes on his back, a mountain of debt, no job, and -
He sticks a hand into the pocket of his jacket. There’s something in there: a neat rectangle of card which reads, Doctor Rodney McKay, PhD PhD. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. There’s no phone number.
He heads for the nearest motel he can find, picks up two bottles of rotgut whiskey, and drinks until he manages to pass out amid the sounds of yelling and the scuttering of cockroaches.
Into the muck
Whatever the fuck else might be going on in the world, there is always the constant: 52 cards, 4 suits, the flick of the dealer’s wrist as he lays out your fortunes, the wins and the loses and the ones where you came oh so close.
He’s back at Mikey’s within a week, borrowing more to get out ahead of this debt, even though he knows that’s never going to work.
Maybe it’ll be different this time. Maybe he can win what he needs, pay off the people he has to, and use the rest to make a start somewhere other than here. Anywhere other than this desert full of chips and blood and corpses and filth.
It’s going to be a good night, he tells himself as he settles into a squeaky plastic chair at a low-roller table and looks around at his competition. Tourists and chumps, and he can take these guys no problem.
Pot-committed
He’s woken by a shrill ringing. His head feels like he’s stuck it in a cement mixer and his mouth tastes like cheap whiskey and puke. He rolls over, covers his ears with a ratty pillow, and ignores it.
The ringing continues. What the fuck? It’s a phone. It keeps ringing. He doesn’t own a phone.
Whoever the fuck is calling is still going, so with a groan he sits up and, bleary-eyed, looks for the phone. He finds it in his jacket pocket, and he’s almost certain it wasn’t there last night.
“Yeah?” he says as he answers it. “What do you want?”
“Sheppard,” a crisp, familiar voice says. “I’ve got a job for you.”
Sheppard closes his eyes. The last thing he needs right now is a world-ending crisis. “Can’t,” he says shortly. “I’ve got… business to attend to.”
McKay snorts. “Another fortune to lose at the poker table? I’m sure you do.” John can hear judgement radiating down the phone line. Then McKay sighs and softens. “Tell you what, meet me and hear me out, and I’ll see what I can do about clearing that off-the-books debt for you.”
That pings John’s bullshit meter, for sure, because that much money doesn’t get casually tossed around even in defense circles. But McKay gives him the address of a pancake place to meet for breakfast and what the hell, he does like pancakes.
Check in the dark
“We keep running into you,” McKay says, shoveling maple syrup-covered pancakes into his mouth with great enthusiasm. “Or, well, other versions of you. Practically every universe we’ve visited so far, you’re leading the team.”
John raises an eyebrow. Not much surprises him any more, but parallel realities strain even his credulity.
“It would be easier,” McKay continues, “if you were with us. You could help us explain. People trust you.”
John jerks back like McKay has slipped a knife between his ribs. McKay doesn’t seem to notice, or perhaps he does notice and is tactful or manipulative enough not to acknowledge it.
“Come work with me. We’d need to get you some -” he gestures with a fork, “- training, obviously. But you could be useful. You could do some good.”
John shifts in his seat. “I can’t just leave.”
McKay scowls at him. “Right, because you’ve got so many compelling reasons to stay.”
Gutshot
He ends up in some anonymous Air Force bunker in Colorado, of all places, and being around so much military life has his hackles rising. He’s deposited in a blank, windowless room with a desk covered in stacks of carefully redacted mission reports from the Stargate program which he reads voraciously because this is wild, this is unbelievable, but it’s also all true.
McKay finds him a few days later, lounging in the doorway as impeccable as ever. John is suddenly very aware of the fact he’s been sleeping in his clothes.
“Keeping busy?” McKay asks, voice dripping with condescension and something else John doesn’t want to put his finger on.
John nibbles the pen he’s holding as he considers how to answer that, and he notices the way McKay’s eyes flick to his mouth. Ahh. Interesting.
“Staying out of trouble, at least,” he drawls, letting his posture slacken so he’s lounging against the back of the chair and his knees are spread wide. It’s been a while but he knows how to play this game.
McKay walks around to his side of the desk, each step measured and precise. Not too fast, no sudden movements, a predator lining up for the kill. John tilts his head back and bares his neck, because he knows how to play the role of prey. McKay perches on the edge of the desk between his legs, looks down his nose, and says, “Somehow I doubt that.”
“I can behave.” He looks up from under his lashes. It’s not exactly subtle, but fuck it, they’re way past that by now. “When properly motivated.”
McKay leans in, all sharp smiles and gleaming edges, and John shudders. McKay notices and the sharp edges of his smile glistens.
“I know you can, Sheppard,” McKay says in a low voice that has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. “I told you before. I know everything about you.”
Damn the man, John thinks, and then McKay winds his fingers into John's hair and yanks him in for a hot, messy kiss and John stops thinking altogether.
Afterwards, as he makes vain attempts to pull up his shirt collar to hide the bite marks and to wipe the come stains off the classified military files, John reflects that he may truly be in over his head this time.
Under the gun
A stack of paperwork drops onto his desk with a dull thud. He looks up to find the scowling face of Major Davis.
“Consultant,” Davis says, chilly as ice. “That’s what the Pentagon is willing to offer. You’ll get a salary and accommodation, and in return you’ll help Doctor McKay with his research while he’s on Earth.”
John opens his mouth, though whether it’s to say thank you, to tell Davis to go fuck himself, or to ask for more money, he isn’t sure. Davis holds up a hand to stop him before he can find out.
“I advised against it, given your record. But McKay is a real pain in the ass when he wants to be. So this is what’s on the table. Take it or leave it.”
Tell
McKay’s brow is furrowed and he’s fiddling with some piece of machinery (probably alien, John thinks, and it seems that sort of thing is part of his life now). It blinks to life for a moment before the lights on the top fade away, and McKay swears and bangs it on the table.
“Hey, easy, Chewie,” John chides.
McKay’s eyes narrow. “I thought you said you didn’t like science fiction.”
McKay actually smiles at that, something joyous leaping up in the corners of his mouth.
“Knew you were a nerd,” McKay says under his breath, and John punches him playfully in the shoulder. He’s defending his honor, or something.
McKay ducks his head, and a blush creeps up the back of his neck.
Ace high
“I’ve got a surprise for you.” McKay looks even smugger than usual.
“Yeah?” John slips a leer into the syllable.
But McKay just rolls his eyes. “Not like that. Come on, there’s something I want you to see.”
He leads him down through the base to a lower level, through endless security checks and into a dark hanger. There’s some technology they’ve acquired from an off-world source, he explains, deliberately vague. He’s trying to make some modifications to it, and he thinks John can help with testing.
John has learned to expect the unexpected in this place, but when the lights of the hanger flicker on his breath still catches. It illuminates a ship unlike anything he’s seen before: slick and cylindrical, rear hatch open to show seats and consoles inside.
“It’s fitted with inertial dampers, weapons, a shield,” McKay says breezily. “Oh, and you’ll like this.” He flicks a button on a control and the ship disappears in a haze like hot air. “It’s got a cloak too.”
It’s like something out of a movie, and John is struck speechless. He follows wide-eyed as McKay decloaks the ship to lead them inside and gestures for him to sit.
And woah, the moment he sits the chair glows and a holographic interface springs up in front of him, and he can feel the ship in his mind. He reaches out with a thought and - ping - the display shows a schematic of the hanger.
“Knew you’d be a natural,” McKay says, managing to sound both condescending and delighted. “Want to take her for a spin?”
Yes, everything in him screams, but he thinks about flames and smoke and the shrill, piercing whine of a tail rotor failing, and he grits his teeth against it and says, “I don’t fly any more,” instead.
McKay gives him a long, cool look.
“We’ll start small,” McKay says, all business, and it’s so easy to relax and follow his lead. “I need you to activate the inertial dampeners while I adjust the shield field strength.”
Okay. Okay. He can do that.
The ship whirs to life.
Short stack
John stares at the blank white walls of his apartment.
It’s better than most places he’s lived in. No roaches, for a start, and it’s clean and has its own kitchen.
But it’s infuriatingly bland, and Colorado is infuriatingly empty, and there’s not so much as a slot machine within an hour’s drive and he is climbing the walls here.
McKay has disappeared on one of those weeks-long missions he can’t or won’t tell John about, and there’s a restless itching under his skin that’s urging him to drink or gamble or fuck or something, and this whole planet seems too small and too constrictive but he doesn’t want to climb under a blanket of booze and drain it all away.
He wants more.
On the river
“Modifications are done,” McKay announces. “Shall we test her out?”
The we makes something squirm in John’s gut but he dismisses it with a lazy, “It’s your alien spaceship.”
McKay looks for a moment like he’s going to say something, but then he pulls out a radio and talks into that instead. “This is Gate Ship One, ready for initial shield test burst.”
“Gate Ship One?” John scoffs. “That’s the best you could come up with?”
“It’s a ship that goes through the gate,” McKay pouts, and damn, that’s kind of cute. “Why, what would your suggestion be?”
John tilts his head. He’s seen footage of the ship traveling through the stargate, leaping through the event horizon and leaving barely a ripple in its wake. “Seems more like a puddle jumper to me.”
“You have the soul of a poet,” McKay says acerbically.
And damn if that’s not kind of cute too.
Dealer’s choice
“Come with me,” McKay says, and John is ready to say yes before he’s even finished speaking. “To Pegasus. To Atlantis. I need to get back there, and I’m sure we can find a way to make you useful.” A little smirk at the end there.
“I don’t know how the Pentagon is going to feel about that,” John says, deliberately languid to hide the way his heart is pounding in his chest. Escape, adventure, somewhere new, somewhere he could be a new person, and he wants it so much it aches.
“Eh, fuck them. They can’t say no to me.”
“Okay,” he shrugs. “Not like I’ve got anything better to do here.”
McKay gives him a look that shoots straight through his defenses and down to his sticky innards. “Yeah, okay,” he says, and it’s soft in a way that makes the ache in John’s chest twist into a deep burn.
All in
The jumper hovers in the air in front of the stargate.
“Nervous?” McKay asks, carefully casual, like he doesn’t already know the answer.
John hums. The inside of the jumper feels as much like home as any place he knows. What’s another galaxy to a man with no ties?
“You’re going to love it there,” McKay says with a smile he can’t hide. He dials up the gate and it engages with a tremendous whoosh and a burst of brilliant blue light.
Here goes nothing, he thinks as McKay deploys the drive pods and fires up the engines. One last new start.
Your trope answers is telling me we would definitely get along ☺️ How about the “there’s only one bed” trope?
No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know
i like it!!!!! i think it's been a fairly popular trope in this fandom and i've seen many takes on it, but it just never gets old. one of them being the martyr and saying "i'll sleep on the floor, don't worry", the other saying "don't be ridiculous", the inherent tension of sharing a very small bed—
(bonus points if something happened between them beforehand) (and they feel awkward/embarrassed/guilty/literally any emotion about the situation)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“title taken from the incredible track Send Them Off! by Bastille which is about as Anakin a song as you can get” asdfghjkl I just read that, re-listened to it, and it’s taken over my anakin thoughts for the moment like a Force chokehold so thank you and possibly curse you? now I’m going to actually read the fic
Oh my GOD thank you frankly for hurting yourself in this way I have been WAITING for someone to also subject themselves to that and I’m v glad 🥲
also ‘like a FORCE CHOKEHOLD’ jfc how dare you that’s so accurate ahah
You’re so welcome (and I’ll get my sage and other anti curse bullshit although at this point it’s like might as well happen) and ahhh hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think
I just want to says thanks for being amazing, funny, and excellent at educating on major issues in ways that are generally easy to understand and not overwhelm people. ❤️
thank ya for reading! I honestly have a lot of fun going on my lil TEDtalk rants, so I’m glad other people are enjoying them too!
