#beaucommandant

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beaucommandant:

[[scare muse with one sentence]] "Goodbye, Conrad."

Jasper looked every bit of 'Commander Shepard' when he was in full armour. The man that Conrad first began to look up to as an adult, learning about him as Jasper Shepard and falling in love with the man behind the rank and armour. Now Jasper was going somewhere Conrad couldn't possibly follow, and there was a small chance that Conrad would lose him forever. That terrified him to no end.

"Jas..."

"I am only saying goodbye now just in case I don't make it, Conrad. Just in case I die saving you and everyone else." It was a difficult sentence to get out, yes, but it was obvious it had been practiced over and over in his head. "If I do survive... I will find you. I love you."

"You'll make it, Jasper." Conrad reached out to take Jasper's gloved hand in his, pulling him into a tight hug. "You will survive, I believe in you." He kissed him, hard and fast, knowing Jasper didn't have much time left before leaving for Earth. "You'll come back from this. You'll show those reapers what for, and you'll come back. I just know it." Another kiss, almost as if he was trying to drive what he'd said home to Jasper. "I love you Jasper, I'll be waiting for you when this is all over."

Conrad held onto Jasper, for as long as he could before Jasper would have to leave for the Normandy, to face the reapers on Earth and to save the galaxy.

"Goodbye, Conrad" Conrad felt as though his world just shattered into a million little pieces, along with his heart. His mind drifted back to the time he came home from Illium, seeing Her there. Bags packed and a solemn expression on her beautiful face. "I've found someone else... I'm leaving you, I just can't do this. Goodbye, Conrad." 

Hearing Jasper say goodbye hurt impossibly more than when She had said it. He lost him, he knew he must have failed Jasper. He didn't even know how or when he did. 

After knowing life with Jasper, and now facing life without him, scared Conrad to no end. Not for himself, but for Jasper. He remembered their talks and how Jasper thought of things, and now he wouldn't be able to help him when he was down.