#beabuddynotabully

Hi, my name is Courtney Gardiner and I am currently 21 years old. In this blog I will be going back in time to when I was about 4 and then up to 21 years of age. This will give you a better insight to why I am the person I am today and you may even learn something from this. Just a disclaimer, everything I put in my blogs will be 100% true and straight from my heart. So now with that said lets get started.

I was 4 years old when my parents found out I was deaf. I was diagnosed with a mild to profound hearing loss in my right ear and moderate to profound in my left. My hearing loss has affected me quite a bit, I don’t deny that. But in this blog which is my first I will tell you why and I hope this can help someone else going through a similar thing.

It all start at 8 years old. I was in about 2nd grade and people noticed I was different. Thats when fearless Courtney started to realise things weren’t right. After years of speech therapy and other therapies, other children started bullying me about my hearing loss and my stutter. Little Courtney didnt understand why these things were being said and she obviously didn’t know how to handle them. 

This went on until 5th grade when it got severe. Everyday I would go to school worried and scared because I already knew that I wouldn’t have a good day. Around the middle of April 2009 something happened that changed my life forever. It was lunch time at school and I was playing with my friends on the back school oval near a big tree. There was me and three of my friends. Out of no where this girl approaches and starts verbally abusing me and calling me names that I will not repeat. After about half the primary/elementary school came to the oval because a ‘fight’ was about to happen. Once the girl knew there was a gathering she punched me in the face and then punched me in the stomach. All I could do was just stand there in shock and tears because I didn’t know what I did to deserve that. My younger brother who was 6 years old at the time came racing down to the where the commotion was happening and pulled the girl who was hitting me hair. After that she stopped and ran away. For that incident occurring we both got a detention at lunch. We eventually found out why she did it and it was because I misheard her say something and I asked her to repeat it. 

Now we jump ahead to the start of high school(7th grade for you Americans out there). 7th grade was when I though everything would start fresh and I would have the chance to be the girl I wanted to be. I was totally wrong. Everyone except 1 person who bullied me came to the same high school. So I already knew my first year would be a bust. And what made it worse…… the bullys were in my class. The bullying continued and this time the people who bullied me got their friends to start bullying me also. I just couldn’t catch a break. That when I turned to music. I picked the violin on the 15th of November 2010 after I seen a talented violinist called Jessy playing. She blew my mind. So my parents brought me my first violin. I was so happy. 

It’s now 2013 and thats when everything got out of control. I was having my head smashed into lockers, I was being tripped, I was told to kill myself and I had finally had enough. I went and spoke to the school principal and unfortunately he was pointless. He told me that it wasn’t his problem and it was mine to deal with. I ended up moving schools after awhile as it just continued. I moved to a school where I actually had friends and I felt accepted and I could be myself for once. I got picked on sometimes but after moving schools I realised to just ignore it and focus on what I want. 

I completed 12th grade and I graduated. Finally no more school. No more bullying. I could be myself for once. Well I was wrong……… once again. Cyberbullying started and it was quite upsetting to see that the children that picked on me throughout school grew into adults who still wanted to get to me. That block button became my best friend. Well truthfully, now it is still being used but I have learnt how to control in and to ignore it. I sometimes respond and wish the a happy life ahead and that because I believe if you show kindness to other they will show it back sometime or another. 

I am now 21 years old and I recently was getting picked on. By recently I mean I get comments said to me at least once a week and I just ignore them. I am sitting here now on the 14th of August 2018 typing this out and I realised that all these troubles throughout my life has only made me stronger. A more powerful and dedicated women who is going to focus on her own happiness and to help others who may be going through bullying. If we stand together we can accomplish big things. Be A Buddy, Not A Bully!!