#bd&h-progress

I should be able to post it on time next Sunday!

I didn't realise the full extent of how necessary this rewrite was!!! 'Cause so much has changed in the past 4 or so hours of me writing, scratching my brain and talking with my sister. I'm quite pleased with the results and I'm almost done rewriting chapter 1!!

I've been reading and watching a lot of reviews and analyses that really highlight my shortcomings in understanding stories and characters and I genuinely want to step back from BD&H until I have a secure grasp on it.

Cause I've been drafting and rewriting and editing and rewriting chapter 6 for what feels like forever, but I'm not satisfied. And all this as I watch analyses doesn't help my confidence in my writing skills, lol.

I am genuinely struggling with writing out this chapter and I'm starting to think that it's because I still don't have a decent grasp on stories and characters and storytelling as a whole, which I was aware of long before I started posting the chapters, but it feels like I know even less than I thought I did. Undertale, even less, it seems

But I won't stop writing the story.

I can't guarantee that it won't end up kinda off, and that I might not like it and that it may get a lot of plot holes and lots of inconsistencies, but I'm hoping that it'll help me grow in my storytelling anyway.

That being said, I am still struggling to get this chapter out the way I want it to, because my awareness of different takes is now warring with my original perception of the character and I have this itch to just abandon the original plot in favour of producing a character that is more canon, I guess. But I won't. I don't know how long it's going to take for me to accept the direction I originally wanted to go in, but I don't want to betray that version of the story because I'm rethinking things. Mostly because it'll change the entire plot (which doesn't feel like a lot, having posted only five chapters so far, lol), but also because I don't know if I'll even like the new version I'm thinking of, so :/

In any case, I guess I only feel so strongly because this chapter will literally determine the nature and development of Kate and Papyrus' relationship from here on out. Which gives it a lot more stakes than the other chapters did where they were just acquainting themselves with each other

But! the chapter has been drafted and I mostly like it. I just have to insert and fix some dialogue, fix any continuity issues, add some details and then I'm pretty much done!

I think I'll post it on halloween in celebration of deltarune so that I can give myself time to actually get it done, lol

In other news, I haven't written chapters in weeks(?) (I've been reading and writing short scenes that I like) and finally cracking open my pc and hearing the gentle click of the keys was such wonderful feeling that I wondered why I hadn't been writing

I know exactly why

I'm so excited to share my fanfiction to the world; I've got chapter banners and book covers and so much lore and worldbuilding lined up to share, but there's no writing to begin with! T~T

I am struggling to actually write the chapters, but I'm so in love with the idea of the story already being out there, the story already being written and I get to read it to myself over and over again giggling and kicking my feet, but there is no story!!!

I want to scream

I really want this story to be written, but I can't find it within myself to like what's already been written so that I can move on to more chapters. ugh

maybe a hiatus from the hellsite. I have been scrolling obsessively for a while now and seeing all the writing progress and completed stories has been depressing me somewhat

I'll be back in July to strictly update my Camp NANO progress, and BD&H progress, if I have any