#bbtd

You heard the news as soon as you woke up. Barry got arrested last night. He’s being charged with the murder of Janice Moss. You couldn’t believe that it actually happened, Barry will finally face some consequences for his crimes. 

He’s currently at the police station, but will be transferred to jail soon. Your father going to prison means you have to go back into foster care. Just the thought terrifies you. You can’t go back to that.

You reached out to a friend whose mom, Annalise, is a lawyer and asked for some legal advice. Annalise suggested filing for emancipation, which would legally make you an adult. It’s your best chance at avoiding foster care. Annalise volunteered to take on your case pro bono and quickly drew up the paperwork. 

There isn’t a lot of time. Barry is still at the police station getting questioned. Annalise stressed the importance of getting the papers signed before Barry is arraigned and gets transferred to prison. She was planning to deliver the paperwork to your father but you insisted that you should be the one to do it. This is your last opportunity to talk to him before he goes away.

Annalise drove you to the police station and convinced the police to let you see your father, explaining that he was your only living parent. You watched in awe as Annalise spoke with the police. She’s very good at her job and it gives you more confidence that she will get your emancipation granted in court.

You take one final deep breath before walking into the interrogation room. The first thing you see is Barry seated at a table.

“Hey,” you shyly wave to your father. 

Barry’s jaw immediately drops when he sees you. He is in shock. You’re the last person he expected to walk through the door. 

“Y/N,” Barry breathes, “What…what are you doing here?”

You sit down at the table across from Barry. You don’t want to talk about what your father is accused of. You know damn well that the cameras are on and you won’t say anything that would implicate him. You still feel weirdly obligated to protect Barry, even after everything he’s done.

“I, uh, I need you to do something for me,” you bite the bottom of your lip.

Barry gives you a confused look. You put the paperwork and a pen down on the table.

“Sign these emancipation papers,” you tell him.

Barry’s eyes widen. He’s stunned into silence, experiencing major deja vu. This moment almost mirrors the first time you met your father. You went to his doorstep, asking him to sign a permanent release of rights so you could emancipate from the foster system. That’s when Barry took you in. 

You went to court with your emancipation request but Barry was granted custody of you instead. After that, you and Barry became a family. And it was good for a while, but it was never meant to last. Your father has a dark past and was battling his own personal demons. He lost that fight and even you couldn’t save him.

“Please Barry! I need to emancipate or else I go back to foster care. I can’t… I can’t go back. Please,” you try.

Barry is taken out of his thoughts, snapping back to reality. You continue making your case.

“My friend’s mom is a lawyer, she’s going to help me. She thinks I have a much better chance of getting emancipation granted this time because I’m almost eighteen and it would be easier to do that rather than re-house me in a foster home. And I have a plan now, not like before. I'm staying at Steve's until I finish off senior year.”

Barry picks up the pen, glancing down at the paperwork.

“Where do I sign?”

You let out a sigh of relief.

“There’s a sticky note on the last page,” you tell him.

Barry sifts through the paperwork, quickly reading as he goes along. He takes a deep breath when he gets to the last page. With the stroke of a pen, he’s no longer legally responsible for you. That realization hits him like a ton of bricks.

After a moment of hesitation, Barry signs the document. 

“Thank you,” you breathe. 

He’s doing this to protect you. At least that’s what he’s telling himself. Your father would do anything to make sure you don’t go back into foster care.

“I just want you to be safe and happy,” Barry says quietly.

“I am,” you reply, and then, “I miss you… but I’ll be okay without you.”

The color in Barry’s face drains. Being your dad was the best part of his life and now it’s all over. Your life will just go on without him.

“Despite everything, you’ll always be my father. You provided me with the first home I’ve ever had and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Barry slowly nods. He slides the paperwork and pen back over to you. You rise to your feet.

“I should get going,” you sigh, eyeing the exit.

“I love you kid,” Barry tells you sincerely.

You’re quiet for a moment. Tears begin streaming down your face, you wipe them away. 

You’re sitting at the table doing homework when you hear the front door open. You look up to see Barry walk in. He’s on the phone. 

“Sally, I’m worried about him…”  

After taking a few steps, Barry stops in his place. You’re not sure if he even notices you. He’s so focused on whatever he’s talking about with Sally. Then he suddenly starts manically hitting himself in the head.

“NO! NO! WE ARE NOT SAYING THE SAME THING!” Barry screams into the phone.

You almost jump out of your seat. Barry’s abrupt tone shift caught you completely off guard. Your father has become unhinged.

“WE ARE NOT SAYING THE SAME THING!” he angrily repeats.

You impulsively rise to your feet. You haven’t seen outbursts like this since you were a foster kid. Your father’s behavior right now reminds you of some of the most unstable foster homes you were placed in. It always starts off with yelling. And if this is anything like your time in foster care then you already know what happens next… things could turn violent.

You need to get out of here fast. You eye the front door. You wish you could leave but that’s not really an option. Barry is too close to the door. He’s blocking your only way out. You don’t even want to try getting around him, nervous about drawing any sort of attention to yourself.

“DON’T FUCKING LAUGH AT ME!” Barry continues yelling at Sally on the phone.

You sneak away from the table and carefully step backwards into your bedroom, keeping an eye on your father. You’re too afraid to turn your back on him. 

As soon as you get safely inside your room, you quietly shut the door. There’s no lock so you have to improvise. You hastily pull your closet door open and place the edge right at the bedroom door knob. 

After securing the door, you get inside your closet. The closets in your various foster homes were your go-to hiding spots as a kid. When you started living with your dad, you thought you’d never be in this type of situation again. You were wrong…

You sit down on the floor with your back against the wall. You protectively hug your knees against your chest, trying your best to hold back tears. You’re terrified.

Barry suddenly goes quiet. The phone call must’ve ended.

“Y/N!” Barry calls out your name.

The color in your face drains. Fuck. Barry actually did see you when he first walked in. You can hear your father’s footsteps from the other side of the door. He’s approaching your bedroom. Panicked, you squeeze your eyes shut and anxiously remind yourself to just keep breathing.

Barry reaches your bedroom door and turns the doorknob. Your heart skips a beat. He tries to open the door but it’s jammed. The closet door is blocking your bedroom door from opening. 

“Y/N…” Barry repeats. He tries reaching through a crack in the door but his hand is too big.

You let out a whimper and then immediately cover your mouth. You use your thumbs to wipe away the tears streaming down your face. Barry can hear you crying.

“Why are you crying? You don’t need to be upset. I’m not mad at you. C’mon, kid, let me in…”

Frozen with fear, you don’t move a muscle. You stay hiding in the closet.

“I love you, kid,” he quietly tells you, “You know that, right?”

You gulp.

“Yeah… Yeah, I know,” you nervously stutter.

Barry lets out a sigh of relief. And then-

“Do you love me?”

Your eyes widen, anxious that he put you on the spot like that. You love your father, but not right now. Not like this….

You remain silent for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. The safest way to navigate this situation is telling Barry exactly what he wants to hear.

You give yourself one final lookover in the mirror, brushing a few stray hairs away from your face. You’re about to meet up with one of your friends. She’s the most stylish person you know. You always feel like a total slob compared to her. You’re trying to dress to impress, while making it all look effortless. It’s a tough balance but you think you pulled it off.

As soon as you step out of your bedroom, you see Barry on the couch playing video games. He was sitting in the exact same position last night when you went to bed and he’s still wearing the same clothes. It looks like he hasn’t moved from his seat. It’s not the first time he’s done something like this.

Barry has been in a weird haze for weeks now. He’s depressed and not working anymore. You don’t know the full story. Barry had some sort of fallout with the Chechens and you believe that whatever happened triggered his depression. 

You want to help but he’s grown distant. Your father doesn’t really talk to you like he used to. It seems like everyday he’s just going through the motions. He’s checked out. You have no idea what to do or how to fix this. You just want your old dad back.

“Hey dad!” you smile, trying to get his attention.

“Hey…” Barry unenthusiastically responds. His eyes are still glued to the TV.

Your face drops. He’s so uninterested in talking to you right now. You’re not going to force it…

“I’m heading out. See you later,” you sigh.

Barry finally looks up at you.

“Do you need a ride to school?” Barry asks half-heartedly.

You scrunch your nose. Barry is so out of it that he doesn’t even know what day it is. 

“Dad, it’s Saturday… I’m going out to lunch with a friend.”

Barry raises an eyebrow. Saturday? How the fuck did that happen?! 

“Oh. Uh, do you need any money?”

“No, I’m okay,” you reply.

Barry lightly nods his head. He doesn’t really know what else to say.

“I’ll be home in a couple of hours,'' you tell your father, “While I’m out you should take a shower and get some sleep….”

Barry suddenly hears a faint sound of a gunshot and then everything goes silent. He sees you with a bullet wound to the head. You’re still standing upright and your mouth is moving but he can’t hear a word you are saying. His heart sinks to his stomach. He knows this is all in his imagination, his mind is playing tricks on him. 

“I’m worried about you, dad. You look exhausted. I think rest will be good for you,” you try.

Your father just stares at you vacantly. Although he’s physically in the room with you, he’s not present at all.

“Dad! Are you listening?” you ask impatiently.

Barry quickly squeezes his eyes shut and reopens them, snapping back to reality. The gunshot wound is gone and he can hear your voice once again.

"I'm sorry. What?" 

You defeatedly shake your head.

“Forget it,” you shrug.

Without another word, you walk out the door. Barry loses it after you leave. He starts hitting himself in the head repeatedly, trying to get all the bad thoughts out.

You arrive back home a few hours later. Barry doesn’t see or hear you come in. He’s lounging on the couch, focused on his laptop. You can see the computer screen from a distance. He’s on the dark web, searching through some hitman message board. 

You cover your mouth to stop yourself from gasping. Barry always told you how much he wanted out of that life, but now he’s anxiously trying to get back into it. As much as you want to call him out on his shit, you know that you can’t. You have no idea how he’ll react if you confront him and that kind of scares you.

You put your head down and loudly shut the door, making your presence known.

“Hey dad! I’m home,” you announce, pretending as if you didn’t see anything.

Barry immediately closes his laptop when he sees you. He thinks you just walked in.

“Hey, uh, how was school?” your father greets you.

Your eyes widen. Is he being serious right now?!

“Dad, it’s still-” 

You take a deep breath. You've come to the sad realization that it would just be easier to go along with Barry instead of reminding him that it’s Saturday again.

“School was fine,” you quietly answer.

Barry nods. 

“I just stopped by to pick up a few things…. I’m sleeping over at Lexi's house tonight. I already asked you and you said it was okay. Remember?”

That’s a lie. You never asked your father about a sleepover and don’t even have a friend named Lexi. It was the first thing you could make up on the fly. At this point, all you want is an excuse to leave. Barry is not in a good place right now and you don’t want to be around him. You know that the lie will work because Barry isn’t in the headspace to call your bluff.

He’s silent for a beat. And then-

“Oh yeah. Have fun.”

“Thanks dad,” you bite the bottom of your lip. Now that you have an out, you need to come up with a real plan.

As you walk into your bedroom, you text your boyfriend:

hey my dad is acting weird again. can i crash with you?

You grab a change of clothes from the drawer. You’re packing an overnight bag when your phone buzzes. Your boyfriend texted back. You quickly glance at the message.

yeah come over whenever

You let out a sigh of relief, at least you have somewhere safe to stay tonight. When you finish packing, you step back out to the living room. Barry is once again playing video games. You roll your eyes and head towards the door.

You’re in a rush, anxiously packing your suitcase as quickly as possible. You need to leave home immediately. You’re no longer safe here.

When you returned home from school today, you saw a few heavily armed bikers leaving your place. You have no idea who they were, but you believe they were looking for Barry. You walked right past them in the hallway, keeping your head down to avoid eye contact. You even went past your own front door, pretending to go to another apartment so the bikers wouldn’t know you’re connected to Barry.

As soon as the coast was clear, you raced into your apartment and locked the door. Then you went into your bedroom, grabbed the biggest suitcase you own and started packing. 

You’re pulling some clothes out of the closet when-

CREAK

You suddenly freeze in place. Your heart sinks to your stomach. That sounded like the front door opening. Did those bikers come back?

“Y/N!” you hear your father call out to you.

You let out a little sigh of relief, but keep your guard up. Barry’s behavior has put you on edge the past few weeks. He’s been all over the place. Barry has had a couple of mood swings that genuinely frightened you, and then there are other times when he just doesn’t seem to be mentally present at all. You don’t know what’s going on with your dad and you are past the point of wanting to find out. It’s just easier not to interact with him when he’s like this.

You carry a heavy stack of clothes from the closet to your bed. You’re removing clothes from hangers, hastily folding and tossing them in your suitcase when Barry enters your room. His eyes widen. 

“What… What are you doing?”

“Leaving. It’s not safe here,” you shrug. 

“What are you talking about?” your father quietly asks.

“Some scary biker dudes broke into our place earlier. I saw them leaving when I got home from school. They had guns, dad. I think they were looking for you… If I had gotten home any sooner, I would’ve walked in on them… They could’ve killed me…”

You shudder at the thought. Barry is quiet for a moment. His face is blank, you can’t get a read on what he’s thinking. And then-

“Okay. But what does that have to do with you leaving?”

Your jaw drops. Did your father not comprehend anything you just said? Barry’s been out of it for weeks, but now it seems like he’s fully lost touch with reality all together.

“I’m leaving because people are coming after you, dad. I think something really bad is going to happen and I don’t want it to happen to me,” you explain slowly, as if you’re talking to a young child. 

“C’mon don’t be stupid. You know I won’t let anything happen to you, kid,” Barry tries.

“I’m not stupid,” you say through gritted teeth, “You’re the one who doesn’t understand…”

“Y/N, I can protect you. I- ” Barry begins before you suddenly interrupt him.

“I don’t feel safe living here and I don’t feel safe with you!” you shout at your father. 

You take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself down. That’s something you’ve wanted to get off your chest for weeks now. And the truth hurts. Barry looks at you in complete disbelief as you finish packing and zip up your suitcase.

“Where are you even gonna go, huh? I’m the only reason you aren’t still in foster care right now. Do you really want to go back to that?”

Your entire body tenses up. Barry struck a nerve. You have no words. You just quietly pick up your suitcase and walk past Barry out of your bedroom. 

KNOCK, KNOCK

The front door opens and your boyfriend, Steve, walks in. He goes straight towards you. Barry quickly puts it together and adamantly shakes his head.

“No. No fucking way. You’re not going with him, Y/N,” Barry says in a low, serious voice.

You brush Barry off, “Yes I am.”

“My mom said that Y/N can stay with us as long as she wants,” Steve tells Barry.

Barry’s eyes look like they are about to pop out of his head. Your father is fuming. 

You need to leave with Steve before Barry explodes into a fit of anger. His anger leads to rage and violence. You don’t want your boyfriend to see that side of Barry.

“Let’s get out of here,” you whisper to Steve, taking his hand.

Steve nods. He helps you with your suitcase and you start heading toward the door. 

“Don’t walk away,” Barry tries.

Barry suddenly steps in front of you, blocking your way. He grabs your arm.

“Y/N, wait!” 

“Dad, stop!” you struggle to get away from Barry.

Steve pushes his way in between you and Barry, attempting to intervene. 

“Woah! What the hell are you doing?!” 

Barry lets go of your arm and then-

SMACK

Barry impulsively backhands Steve across the face. Steve falls back, slamming into a wall. 

Kill Bill sirens start going off in your head. You’re so mad that you are seeing red. Your father does a lot of bad shit, but he just crossed a line. 

“NO! Don’t fucking touch him!” you scream ferociously, jumping in front of your boyfriend to shield him from getting hit again. 

You lose your balance and stumble backwards. Steve springs to his feet and catches you from falling. He wraps his arm protectively across your chest, pulling you away from Barry and keeping you close. You clutch onto your boyfriend’s arm.

“Stay away from us!” you continue yelling at Barry.

Barry slowly steps back, in complete shock. Tears begin streaming down your face. You look so upset and scared. 

“Please, dad, just let me go…”

The color fades from Barry’s face. He remains silent. He doesn’t know what to say that will fix this. It all happened so fast and Barry wasn’t thinking clearly. He didn’t mean to hit Steve. Steve just happened to be in the way.

Steve eyes the door. Now that Barry moved back, you two have a clear path to the exit.

“Come on, let's go. It’ll be okay,” your boyfriend says softly.

You take a deep breath and reluctantly let go of Steve. Steve unwraps his arm from you and takes your suitcase. He places his free hand on the small of your back, quietly signaling that he’s got you. 

As Steve leads you out of the apartment, you keep your eyes locked on Barry. You’re making sure that he doesn’t try anything else. You don’t look away until you walk out the door.

Your father doesn’t even move or try to stop you again. He just feels so deflated.

After you leave, Barry starts replaying the conversation and the incident over and over again in his head. The more he thinks about it, the more he believes that he didn’t even hit Steve that hard. 

“It was basically like a light tap. Y/N completely overreacted,” he mutters to himself without a hint of irony.

You father is so out of it, he doesn’t take any responsibility for what happened or why you left. His mind keeps going back to the bikers that you had mentioned. Barry convinces himself that it was the bikers’ fault that you no longer felt safe at home. You weren’t afraid of Barry, you were just scared because those bikers broke in.

Your father’s face lights up. An epiphany! If he can just track down and take out those bikers, you wouldn’t be scared anymore. Then you’d have to come back home!

Barry is sitting on a couch in a vacant lot across the street from his target’s home. He’s on a stakeout, waiting for the target to finally step outside. To pass the time, Barry has been reading a script for an upcoming scene that he’s doing with Sally in Mr. Cousineu’s class.

BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ

Barry pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks who’s calling -- it’s you.

Barry holds his breath. 

You’re out of town visiting colleges in the Bay Area with your boyfriend, Steve. The only reason Barry agreed to let you go was because Steve’s mom and little brother would also be on the trip. You’re touring Stanford, UC Berkeley, and will spend a day in San Francisco. 

Barry really wanted to hear from you, he was just hoping it would be after this hit was over...

You know about what Barry really does. You’ve seen him leave and return home from jobs, you’ve even patched him up a few times, but your father tries his best to shield you from that side of his life. You have no idea he’s working right now. If you knew, you wouldn’t have called.

Barry finally exhales. He isn’t going to skip your call. You might be busy later and he doesn’t want to miss his chance to talk to you.

He quickly puts an earbud in and answers the phone.

“Hey kid!”

He tried his best to play it cool but he sounded a little anxious. You immediately pick up on that.

“Hey dad. Is this a bad time?” 

“No. Not at all,” Barry lies. 

He really doesn’t want to tell you the truth... 

“How was the big tour of Stanford today?” your father changes the subject.

“It was nice. The campus was beautiful and some of the classes sounded really interesting,” you say shyly.

“That’s great! Are you going to apply? I think you should.” 

“I doubt it,” you shrug.

“Why not?” your father asks, concerned. 

“There’s no way I can get in! People like me don’t go to Stanford,” you stress.

“Don’t say that! You’re like the smartest person I know. Stanford would be lucky to have you,” Barry insists.

“It’s not just about grades, dad. The people that get into Stanford just have… everything. And I can’t compete with that,” you explain.

“What do you mean?”

“One girl on my tour was a violin prodigy. She won her first national competition when she was seven,” you tell Barry.

“So what?” Barry scoffs.

“So what? When I was seven, I was hiding in a closet so my foster dad wouldn’t beat the shit out of me. Stanford wants the child prodigy, not the foster kid,” you sigh.

Barry’s quiet for a moment. His entire body tensed up when you mentioned the abusive home you used to live in. Your father already knew about that part of your past, but it doesn’t stop him from getting angry about it.

“Dad? Are you still there?” 

Barry is snapped out of his thoughts.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry,” Barry sighs, “Look, I never went to college so I don’t know how any of this works. But I think you shouldn’t sell yourself short. When kids come from everything, it’s easier for them to succeed. You came from nothing and succeeded anyways. You’re strong and smart and survived a lot of shitty situations. That means something.”

You silently nod your head, taking in what Barry just said. Sometimes you wish you saw yourself the same way that your dad sees you. 

“Thanks dad,” you breathe.

Barry smirks to himself, proud that his little dad pep talk actually worked.

The front door to the target’s house suddenly begins to open. Barry immediately grabs his gun and gets into position. 

“We’ve spent this whole time talking about me, I forgot to ask how you were. What have you been up to since I left?” 

“Not much. My life is pretty boring without you, kid,” your father tells you as he looks into the rifle scope.

Barry sees a hand pop out from behind a slightly ajar door. It has to be Barry’s target! The hand reaches into the mailbox next to the door and takes out some mail. Then the hand slips back inside the house and the door closes. 

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself.

There was no way Barry could have taken a shot at the target’s hand. It wouldn’t have done the job.

“Uh, dad, are you okay? What’s going on?” you ask.

“Nothing,” Barry quickly replies.

“I heard you curse to yourself. Where are you?” you continue questioning him.

“Home. I, uh, I stubbed my toe,” Barry stumbles through an answer.

You roll your eyes. He’s lying to you. You listen closely for any background noise. 

“Bull shit! I hear birds chirping. You’re outside,” you call him out.

You gasp, coming to the sudden realization-

“Oh my God! You’re on a hit, aren’t you?”

“No I’m not,” Barry denies.

You don’t buy it.

“Yeah you are. I bet you’re on a stake out right now. You don’t have to lie to me, dad,” you keep pushing.

“Fine, fine. You’re right. I’m working,” your father reluctantly admits, “‘I’m, uh, I’m sorry…”

You take a deep breath. You’re not angry at Barry... you’re worried. And now you’re starting to regret going on this weekend trip. 

In a weird way, there’s a part of you that prefers to be home when Barry goes out on hits. Your father’s job is dangerous and if anything bad happens, you want to be there. Even when Barry goes out late at night, you always try to stay up and wait for him. You like knowing that he got home safe.

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s just… I miss you and hope that you’re ok,” you say quietly.

“I’ll be fine, kid,” Barry reassures you.

“Can you text me when you get home? So I know that you’re alright,” you request.

“Yeah, I will. Promise.”

It’s quiet for a moment, before your father breaks the silence.

“Listen, uh, I have to go. But call me tomorrow. I want to hear all about your tour of Berkeley.”

“Definitely,” you reply, “I love you, dad. Bye.”

The line goes dead. Barry forcefully tugs the earbud out and lets it fall to his side. He shrugs defeatedly, wishing you didn’t figure out the truth. You sounded anxious after he confirmed your suspicions and he hates making you worry. But there’s nothing Barry can do about that now….

“You didn’t have to come with me, dad.”

“I didn’t want you to go alone,” Barry says quietly.

You and Barry are at a cemetery a few hours away from Los Angeles. You did some research and found out it’s where your mother is buried. You’ve wanted to visit her grave for some time. Although you never met your mom, she was the one that brought you into this world. You felt the need to pay your respects.

You don’t know much about your mother except for what’s on her gravestone. Her name was Julia and was only 24 when she died. She was so young, with her whole life ahead of her. The weight of that never really hit you until now. 

Under Julia’s name, it simply reads “Loving Daughter”. You’re not very surprised. Your mother gave you up right after you were born. You were never really part of the equation. 

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” you hear an unfamiliar female voice.

You and your father turn around to find an older, conservative woman in her early 70s. She’s standing a few feet away, holding a bouquet of flowers. The woman raises her eyebrows as soon as she sees your face. She blankly stares at you for a moment, and then-

“Y/N?” 

“Uh, yeah,” you nervously stutter, “How did you know that?”

“You look just like Julia,” the woman tells you. 

“Really? I look like her?” you smile.

The woman ignores your question. 

“Except for your eyes. My daughter had really beautiful eyes, you don’t have them. Her hair wasn’t that frizzy either,” she mutters to herself.

Barry frowns at the woman’s backhanded comment. You have Barry’s eyes and he loves that. The woman’s insult doesn’t faze you.

“You’re…. you’re my grandma!” you gasp, “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

“My name is Louise. Don’t call me grandma. You’re not part of my family,” the older woman shakes her head.

Her words feel like a gut punch. You cross your arms protectively across your chest. 

“Oh, uhm, I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” you quietly apologize.

Barry can see how uncomfortable you are. He gives your grandmother a cold look.

“Hey! You can’t talk to her like that,” Barry stands up for you.

“I’m sorry. Who are you?” Louise glares at Barry.

“I’m her father,” Barry answers.

“Oh, so you’re the one who got my daughter pregnant and walked out?” your grandmother sneers.

“I was in the Marines and went overseas. I didn’t even know about Y/N until she tracked me down,” he defends himself. 

Louise scoffs, rolling her eyes. She then turns her focus back to you.

“You may look like Julia, but you’re nothing like her. My daughter was a good person. And she didn’t kill anyone, unlike you. It’s your fault she’s dead,” Louise says coolly.

“That’s bullshit!” you exclaim, “She died a few years after she gave me up.”

“I don’t know who told you that but it’s not true. You were only two at the time so you probably can’t remember. Julia never gave you up,” your grandmother reveals.

Your jaw drops.

“Wh...what? What are you talking about?” you stutter in complete shock.

“When Julia found out she was pregnant, she dropped out of school and moved back here to be closer to home. I wanted Julia to give you up for adoption, but she refused. She threw her life away because of you! The only reason she was even in that car accident was because she was picking you up from daycare. I was given custody but I didn’t want you so you were put in the system. It’s where you should’ve been the whole time. You ruined my daughter’s life and then you killed her. I wasn’t going to let you ruin mine,” Louise explains.

You’re stunned speechless. Everything you thought was fact was actually bullshit. This news feels like a bombshell. It’s so overwhelming that you can’t even think right now. You just want to get out of here as soon as possible.

“I’m sorry… I...I gotta go,” you breathe.

You push past your grandmother and run off. 

“Looks like you need to teach that girl some manners,” Louise snickers as she regains composure.

Barry tensely stares down your grandmother. He’s fuming. She was the reason you were forced to grow up in foster care. All the shitty home placements and abuse you endured was because of her. She could have protected you and given you a normal childhood but she didn’t. In your father’s mind, everything you went through was now your grandmother’s fault. He blames her. It’s taking everything inside of him not to snap… The only thing stopping him is you. He needs to make sure you’re okay.

“Neither of you are welcome back here,” Louise warns Barry.

“My kid can go to her mother’s grave anytime she wants. And if you have a problem with that, then it’s your problem,” Barry says in a low, serious tone.

Barry storms off before your grandmother has time to respond. It doesn’t take him long to find you. You’re crying by a tree not too far from Julia’s grave. Barry takes a deep breath and softens his facial expression, switching into dad mode.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay,” Barry pulls you into a hug.

“I killed her. I killed my mom,” you sob into his shoulder.

“No you didn’t,” your father consoles you.

“Yes I did! It’s my fault she’s dead!”

Barry pulls out of the hug and puts his hands on your shoulders. You keep your head down, still crying.

“Y/N, look at me,” Barry tries.

With tears in your eyes, you reluctantly look up.

“You didn’t kill your mom,” Barry repeats.

“But-” 

“You didn’t kill anybody,” he interrupts, then lowers his voice, “Trust me, I would know…”

You’re silent for a beat, taking in what your father just said. You know he’s right. 

“Yeah, okay,” you wipe some tears away from your cheeks, “I can’t believe I ever wanted to meet my grandma. I always imagined her being nice. Aren’t grandmas supposed to be nice? I feel so stupid.”

“She's a piece of shit. You're better off without her in your life,” Barry shrugs.

“She sucks, but she was right. I am a mistake,” you quietly reply.

“Y/N, you weren’t a mistake. Don’t let that woman make you think that,” Barry shakes his head.

“I’ve felt that way long before her,” you mumble.

Growing up in foster care, you always felt like you were a mistake. You believed that was why you weren’t adopted and nobody wanted you. It’s an insecurity that runs deep. You think that the real reason you work so hard in school is because you want to prove to the world and yourself that you weren’t a mistake. 

“Listen to me, Y/N. You aren’t a mistake,” Barry reassures you, “Your mom wanted you to keep you. She loved you, she didn’t abandon you like your grandma did. She wanted to take care of you.”

It’s a little comforting to find out your mom didn’t give you up at birth. You did have a parent that loved you when you were a baby. You wish you remembered her and that love. The first time you felt parental love was from your father.

“And I’m really fucking lucky that I get to take care of you now. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, kid,” Barry says honestly.

You slowly nod your head. Now you can’t help but imagine what your life would’ve been like if Julia lived. Everything would be different.

“What do you remember about my mom?” you ask shyly.

Barry sighs. He dated Julia so long ago, before he went to war. He was a different person back then. So much time has passed that Barry only remembers little fragments of the relationship. He enjoyed hanging out with Julia and liked her a lot. 

“Uh… well...” 

Barry struggles to find the words. You want to have an honest conversation about your mother and he owes you that. He doesn’t want to let you down.

“I remember… Julia had a great laugh. And she was shy but she had a smile that lit up the whole room. Just like you,” Barry tells you.

Your eyes widen.

“She also really loved horror movies. I remember we went to see The Ring on a date. I was freaked out but Julia loved it,” Barry chuckles at the memory.

“Are you serious, dad? The Ring isn’t that scary!” you tease.

“In 2002 it was like the scariest movie of all time. You don’t get it, you weren’t there!” 

“My mom sounded pretty cool,” you smile.

“Julia was fearless,” Barry nods in agreement, and then, “What your grandmother said earlier, she was wrong. You’re more like her than just looks. She’s a part of you, kid.”

“Thanks, dad,” you give Barry a big hug.

Your father embraces you back.

You, Barry and Sally have just returned home from dinner. You recently made the Honor Roll and your father took you out to celebrate. He’s so proud of your achievement! In addition to dinner, Barry also gave you a necklace that you’ve wanted since you first saw it in a vintage shop with Sally. 

“So, do I get to pick the movie tonight?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Barry nods, then quickly adds, “But not Fear Street again.”

“Oh no fair!” you laugh.

As you three approach the front door, you’re the first to notice it’s slightly ajar. Your heart skips a beat.

“Dad, uh, did we accidentally leave the door open?” you ask nervously.

Barry’s eyes widen. He steps in front of you and Sally, then cautiously opens the door. He slowly walks inside. The place is trashed with furniture tossed all over.

Barry looks around. The person who did this was long gone by now. You and Sally follow Barry into the apartment. Your jaw drops as you take everything in.

“Woah...” 

“What the hell happened here?” Sally asks, stunned.

Barry’s speechless. He has no idea what to tell you and Sally, but he already knows who did this. It was the Chechens. They wanted Barry to do a hit tonight. Your father refused because he already made plans to take you out to dinner.

You suddenly notice the kitchen sink’s water is running.

“Oh shit! They left the water on,” you alert Barry and Sally, “That’s just like the Wet Bandits in Home Alone!”

You're about to run into the kitchen when Barry puts his arm out, blocking your way. 

“Dad?” 

Barry nods towards the kitchen floor. You look down and see broken wine bottles and glass all over the floor. 

“I got it,” Barry tells you.

He steps over the glass and turns off the water.

From the corner of your eye, you see that the door to your bedroom is open. There’s a huge mess inside. You had just cleaned your room earlier today. You know you didn’t leave it like that. 

You rush to your room to find that the clothes in your drawers and closet have been thrown all over the floor. On top of your clothes are your Honor Roll certificates, all ripped up. A chill goes down your spine. It feels kind of violating having strangers go through your belongings.

You check out your bureau. Then you realize something is missing...

“No, no, no,” you mutter to yourself. 

The necklace Barry gave you is gone. It really meant something to you. You found it at a vintage store when you were out shopping with Sally. You loved the necklace but didn’t buy it because you couldn’t afford it. Sally told Barry about what happened so he went out and bought it for you. He gave it to you after you told him that you got on the Honor Roll.

You mentally kick yourself for not wearing the necklace when you went out tonight. The only reason you didn’t was because it clashed with your outfit.

Barry walks into your room as you frantically search the top of your messy bureau.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” your father asks to get your attention.

“It’s not here! I can’t find it,” you answer.

“You can’t find what?”

“My necklace. Whoever did this, they couldn’t have taken that…. would they?” you cross your arms against your chest, trying to hold back tears.

Barry clenches his jaw. His body goes rigid. You study his body language and realize that this wasn’t some random break in. 

“You know who did this, don’t you?” you sigh.

Barry doesn’t say anything. That confirms it for you.

“Who was it?” you keep pushing.

“Nobody,” Barry quietly replies, and then, “Don’t tell Sally about the necklace.”

You reluctantly nod. Your father clearly wants to shield you and Sally from this. 

“I’m going to take care of this. I’ll be back soon,” Barry says in a low, serious tone.

Before you have time to respond, your father walks out. You try to follow him but stop yourself when he goes into his bedroom and closes the door. 

Barry pushes his mattress and grabs one of the guns he stores underneath the bed. He makes sure it’s loaded before hiding it in the back of his jeans. 

Barry is so mad, his ears are ringing. The Chechens crossed a line. Going after Barry was one thing, but they went after his family. What if you or Sally had been home when they broke in? And to make matters worse, they stole something that belonged to you. You were so excited when Barry gave you that necklace and now you’re close to tears because it’s gone. That just doesn’t sit right with your father.

Barry takes a deep breath to calm himself before stepping out of his bedroom.

“What were you doing in there?” Sally asks.

“I called the police. They want me to go down to the station to make a statement,” Barry announces.

“What? They aren’t coming here?” Sally gives Barry a confused look.

“Yeah, uh, the police aren’t coming because nothing got stolen,” he lies convincingly.

“Okay, well hurry back. We can start cleaning up while you’re gone,” Sally nods.

“I texted Steve. He’s on his way to help,” you tell Sally.

“I’ll get home as soon as I can.”

Barry leaves and locks the door behind him. Once the door is closed, Barry’s face immediately drops. He quickly switches back to hitman mode. He heads out, determined to confront the Chechens.

Your father returns home a few hours later. As Barry walks down the hallway towards the apartment, he sees you and your boyfriend Steve step outside carrying two trash bags each. You had just finished cleaning up. The place looks a lot better than how Barry left it.

“Dad!” 

You notice how drained he looks. You’re worried about him. You want to ask him where he went and what happened, but you decide to wait until you’re alone.

“Steve and I are gonna take the trash out to the dumpster. We’ll be back in a minute,” you tell your father.

“Hey, could you hold on for a minute?” Barry asks you.

“Yeah,” you nod.

“I can take the trash down,” Steve offers.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I got this. I’m stronger than I look,” your boyfriend jokes.

“Thank you,” you smile, handing him your trash bags.

Steve walks away. You and Barry are quiet for a moment, waiting until Steve is out of sight. 

“Are you okay?” you ask with concern.

“Yeah. I, uh, have something for you.”

Barry reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out your necklace. Your jaw drops. He actually got it back!

“Do I even wanna know how you got this?”

Barry shakes his head and looks down at his feet. His mind briefly flashes to the moment he confronted the Chechen who broke into his home. Barry put a gun to his head and demanded the necklace back. He was so angry that he was seeing red. The man was lucky Barry didn’t kill him. But your father isn’t going to tell you about any of that... 

You take a deep breath, knowing it would be best if you didn’t push any more. Then you give Barry a big hug. 

“Thanks dad!”