Robbie Williams is assembling teams for the first ever Boy Band Ryder Cup Death Match (BBRCDM): Europe v USA to establish the hardest boyband and boybander.
"And listen - this isn't about violence
It's about legacy
It's about honour
It's about settling the arguments nobody was having until I started them"
He means business. He's already recruited 90% of '90s boybands to the Euro & USA teams (75% of them without their knowledge or consent, but who's counting?). Sample strengths include:
Howard Donald from Take That : "man-strength + lithe dexterity"
John from E17: "a proper man with a proper job and everything"
John Knight from NKOTB: "farmer strength"
Brian from E17: "scrappy and emotional"
Keith and Shane from Boyzone: "Two meat lighthouses"
Wanya and Michael from Boys II Men: "It's Philly in the '80s. Tell me I'm wrong"
Bryan McFadden of Westlife: "A human doorway"
Things could get ugly. Europe for the win.
