#bbchallenge

I think it is evident now that I have a fear of being seen.

I have been told (mostly by my mom and ex friends) that I’m “too much” whenever just being myself.

And I am very used to hiding myself and breaking myself down into bite sized pieces.

I honestly just like to keep to myself hang with my friends and family. And just get what I have to get done. But I don’t like to do extra tbh.

I want put myself out there more in terms of making friends, posting content. Doing shows (music and fashion related.

And trying new things.

I would try to do that today but I’m too tired to even fathom going on a side quest. I wanna do my work and go home. Maybe on the weekend or something.

But I have been challenging myself since September to try or do something spontaneous/out of my comfort zone at least once a day

I’m proud of my improvement in my draping class.

My discipline to register for classes and get class work done.

I got my hair done lol.

That I didn’t try to achieve everything at once once I turned 18 and that I’m pacing myself.

**Day 8:** Create a daily self-care routine. Do things that make you feel good inside and out.

This prompt is gonna be longgg only cause to me self care has to do with the mind the body and the soul.

And I’ve been meaning to get back on my health shit. Mental physical spiritual you get the idea.

But I wanna write down a food and workout plan.

A plan to help my mental health

And start a routine to get more in touch with myself my god and my ancestors.

And to be clear I’m not religious. Just spiritual. So I believe there is a god out there watching over me. Idk which one and idc which one I just have faith that there is a higher power that has my back. To me tho my religion is myself and practicing self love to myself and becoming the best version of my self and achieving my dreams, living life to the fullest and being with loved ones. That is the most godliest thing to do to me anyways. Love is god. And the more I practice love whether it’s to myself my loved ones my ancestors or god himself. I truly believe that is what brings me closer to him. But I’ve been incorporating faith into my life and trying to let go of things that are out of my control and letting god handle them. Lo and behold he did. God is real and I’m living proof of his existence. Again if it’s god the universe my higher self whoever tf I know they’re looking out for me and love me and I love them back.

But yea I just wanna be a bit more purposeful and grounded to who I am and whys I believe in cause I always get lost in the everyday hustle that I forget to make room for god. So idk how I’ll do that but I’ll find a way. Not that it will be a religious routine ur will be my own thing.

As for my physical health I wanna start going the gym on my days off and doing the minimum of stretching throughout the week. And also making sure I get my vitamins and nutrients for the day. I think I will just make a post with a workout routine that is specific to my health/body goals. And a post about the foods and meals so want to incorporate more. Again specific to my health/body goals.

And lastly my mental health. I want to start seeing a therapist now that I’m 18. I want to meditate and journal again(I don’t be having time anymore.) and anything else that can create healthy habits so I no longer spiral when I’m upset. Cause that’s the type of self care important to me. Especially when it comes to burnout I need to give myself a break.

That I pushed through and did my best on my draping project on time.

That I allowed myself to rest and have fun with my friend

That I pushed through and went to school on my birthday even though I was ridiculously tired

That i arranged to get my hair done

Daily Mirror Mantra

I am that girl regardless of my circumstances. I am that girl simply for existing and being me. I am that girl because I deserve it. Everything works out in my favor because I deserve it. I am untouchable. In terms of skills, beauty, talent, charisma, health etc etc. I am the best to do it period. No one can bring what I bring to the table because I am uniquely me. I love myself unconditionally. And I do my best in every aspect of my life. I grateful for the life given to me and grateful to be me cause I wouldn’t wanna be anyone else. And I thank god everyday for having my back.

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am kind

I am smart

I am chosen

Five things but it’s worth noting

I love my older sisters intelligence and patient and social skills

I love my moms ability to hustle and persuade people

My dads patient and how much of a hardworking he is

Both my older sisters creativity

I love my besties creativity and confidence

I think I reflect a lot of these traits except for the hustle and social part I can be a bit shy at times but I’m working on no longer dimming my light and putting myself out there more.