Things I have learnt since my childhood. - Don't put a metal knife inside a toaster whilst it's cooking toast. -Don't shove metal in the microwave. -Don't steal a street sign, you will end up falling over and tearing all the ligaments in your ankle and won't be able to walk for 8 weeks. -Don't bloody shove metal back into the microwave and laugh at the sparks. - Don't put a kettle on a hot plate on top of a stove, it will melt. -Don't try and start a match so close to your face, you hair will catch fire. - Don't play with fart bombs and hold it in front of you face, it will bloody explode in your eye. -Don't play a plane crash game whilst on a plane surrounded by people. -Don't tell your mum anything, she will tell everyone and I mean everyone. -Don't trust your brother when it comes to alcoholic drinks, the chocolate doesn't taste better at the bottom. -Don't try and be superman. - Don't try and ride a bide on a bumpy road with no hands whilst screaming out to your mum 'hey ma, look no hands' because you won't finish that sentence, you face will be on gravel. -Don't try and scare someone outside, because they will lock you out. -Don't get a bloody black cat, she will eat 8 pairs of apple headphones. -Don't believe anyone when they say Pony tales are cute when your 13, it's a lie. -Don't eat raw bacon thinking it's ham, that's just stupid. I have actually done so many stupid things in my 18 years of life..
