#basic dating tips

There are endless questions that can spin around your head before, during and after a date, which is why we’ve compiled a list of some top dating tips for men, to help make sure your date is an ultimate success.

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Dating can be a tricky business. What should you wear? Where should you meet? How much should you say? Who should pay? How soon after your date should you call? With so many questions, it’s hard to focus on actually getting to know your date. Here you’ll find some top dating tips for men on how to date women (if that’s what you’re into).

1. First impressions are always important

Your ripped jeans may be lucky, but remember, this will be the first impression your date gets of you. Yes, you should never pretend to be someone that you’re not, but a girl might like to see that you take pride in your appearance. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to wear a full tuxedo, but having a shower, a shave and putting on something suitable will help you impress your date and get you off to a good start. Now all you have to worry about is turning up on time.

2. Make date plans for somewhere you’ll feel comfortable

Dating can be a daunting experience. If she’s asked you to pick somewhere, help cut through those nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory. This will help make you feel more comfortable. Although, maybe avoid your normal Saturday night pub, as bumping into your mates could be a little distracting on your date.

3. Be confident

Across the board, confidence is attractive – enthusiasm will make you shine. If you’re a little shy, practice beforehand by talking to people you don’t know. Or, whilst on the date, pick a subject that you’re enthusiastic about, such as a hobby. She will sense your confidence as you talk passionately about it. Many people may also be shy about their appearance. You may not be 6ft tall with a six-pack, but it’s more attractive to a woman to show that you’re comfortable in your own skin and happy being you.

4. Don’t do all the talking

On your date, make sure you don’t do all the talking. If this date goes well, there will be lots more opportunities to share your stories in the future. Don’t be scared of pauses and help mix up the conversation by asking your date questions. Listening is important, as it shows that you are interested in what she has to say.

5. Keep the conversation fun

Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues you’ve been having. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.

6. Avoid the ‘ex’ conversation

Talking about your ex is dangerous territory. It’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether. It’s unlikely that your date will be interested and it can make things feel awkward between you. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.

7. Turn off your phone

There’s nothing more annoying than phones ringing whilst trying to spend quality time out with friends, and it’s just as irritating on a date. Don’t just put it on silent or vibrate, as you can still become distracted. Turn your phone off completely. If she knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, she’ll appreciate you’re taking the time to engage with her fully.

8. Share the bill

Whether you’re dating a feminist or not, most women will assume that they are paying for their share of the bill. It may be worth letting her know towards the beginning of your date, just so you’re both on the same page. In the early stages of dating, you want her to be spending time with you because she likes you, rather than because she thinks she owes you something.

9. Follow up correctly

If you don’t want a second date, don’t say you’ll call her. You’ll end up feeling bad and she might feel hurt. Just say, “I had a great time tonight”. If you do want to see her again, don’t play games. Yes, in films they always leave it a couple of days to contact each other, but this is real life. If you don’t contact her within a couple of days, you’ll seem like you couldn’t be bothered, or didn’t enjoy the date. The sooner you tell her what a great time you had, the better.

10. Get feedback from a female friend

Dating is not something we learn at school, we simply have to jump in the deep end and see how it goes. But, if you’re looking to improve your dating skills, why not talk to a female friend. Discuss your last date, where you went, what you did and what you talked about. Everyone has different opinions, but it can help to give you some useful feedback on how to be better on your next date.

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My friend Kathy, a 42-year-old single mother, began dating Brad after meeting him on a dating site. They exchanged messages and flirted online before agreeing to meet in person. It seemed to be a done deal in all but name. Kathy considered this. “I have a positive feeling about this,” she reasoned.   After all, Brad’s profile said that he was a firefighter and helped out at the Little League in…

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