Edge: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSYYYYY YES! IN THAT ORDER! AND I CRIED FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR AFTER WATCHING TOY STORY 3--

(No no, this is totally Boss. He loves animals because he can hug them all he wants. I'm happy to provide nore twin content for you, I'm pretty sure it was you that made me crave twin content in the first place so hey, circle of life 😂)

Stretch was halfway through an explanation of the science behind Star Trek. Well, he thinks it was halfway, at least, it's hard to tell when he has to keep circling back around to pick up different points, but the point is, he's monologuing at Boss as they stroll down the street, and he's about to ask if he has questions--

--only, he physically isn't walking beside him anymore, which makes Stretch pause. He looks around, he can't have gone far, and finally spots him, all the way across the street, crouched and talking to a little girl sitting beside a cardboard box.

He's seen weirder things, but still, he hustles over, ready to make sure everything is okay. He makes eye contact with a woman who must be the girl's mom, and the smiles exchanged seem to relax them both as he approaches.

"hey, babe, don't just wander off," Stretch chuckled. "whatcha got there--oh!"

The box was filled with kittens, five of them, fluffy little beasties and okay, they were pretty fucking cute. Two calico, a black, an orange, and one snow white. Stretch chuckled as he copied his boyfriend, crouching by the box curiously.

And his boyfriend was listening very intently to the little girl. "Now, mister, remember that baby kitties are very, very small, and even if they're pretty good at hanging by their claws you should always have a hand under them so they don't fall!"

"YES, NATURALLY," Boss agreed, so serious that Stretch almost laughed.

"Okay, hold out your hands!" The little girl said, satisfied with her newfound pupil's knowledge. Boss did as he was instructed, and though all the kittens seemed to be clamoring at the side of the box to be picked up, she chose the white one, scooping it up and depositing it into Boss' waiting hands.

Oh. Oh, sweet lord, Boss just melted. Stretch watched in disbelief as that scarred, resting-bitch-face cool and calculated skull softened immediately, his mouth falling slack and his sockets widening. A soft "OH!" escaped him as the tiny thing reached up to bat at his scarf.

"OH, STRETCH, LOOK," Boss cooed softly, showing him, as if he hadn't already seen and fallen in love with him a little bit more. "LOOK AT THE LITTLE FEET! AND IT'S SO SOFT!"

"you want it?" Stretch asked, petting the kitten gently.

Boss flushed, looking down at the kitten. "I COULDN'T POSSIBLY KEEP A KITTEN LIKE THIS AT...MY PLACE."

"didn't say it'd be at your place," Stretch said sternly. "i asked if you wanted it."

The excitement clearly sparkled in his eyelights, but he still hesitated, petting the kitten's soft fur. "BUT BLUE--"

"has been telling me to get a pet for ages, something to take care of. how much?" He asked, turning to the little girl and her mom. As he discussed a proper buying price, he watched Boss soften from the corner of his sockets, smiling first at him, and then at the kitten, muttering in a hilariously adorable baby voice to it as it purred and bumped his chin.

-----------

"What is that?" Edge asked, eyes going straight to the fluffy white furball of a thing in his brother's arms.

"A KITTEN!" Boss crowed, holding it out to show Edge, who leaned back slightly before looking at it. "LOOK AT IT, ISN'T IT CUTE? STRETCH BOUGHT IT FOR ME, WE CAN KEEP IT HERE UNTIL...WELL, MAYBE ONE DAY WE'LL LIVE SOMEWHERE SAFER."

Edge chuckled, petting the small fluffy thing, admiring the way its little paws grabbed his hand and tried to play. "That's quite the commitment he made for you."

"that's the last of it," Stretch sighed, hauling in two more bags of stuff from the pet store. "litter genie, cat condo, feather toys, bell balls, wet food...i think i have enough stuff for at least twelve kittens in here."

And Edge saw it, the soft, oh-so-soft way his brother then looked at the kitten, giving it gentle kisses on the head as if he hadn't a single care and he understood immediately why Stretch caved and bought the little claw machine. He smiled softly at the sight, watching his brother and Stretch discuss where all the things would go and names.

"DOOMFANGER!" Boss said excitedly. "WE'LL CALL HER DOOMFANGER!"

"and that's non-negotiable, is it?" Stretch chuckled, curling a hand under the kitten's dangling legs as Boss held it out like the Lion King.

"YES. A WARRIOR'S NAME FOR A PROPER HUNTER LIKE HER."

"I think its a great name," Edge agreed, stifling a laugh.

Stretch sighed, resigned, but his soft smile and love-filled eyelights told an entirely different story.

Edge: Actually, there's something I haven't told you.

Boss: THERE'S TWO OF US.

Edge: Don't get attached, got it. *gets attached immediately*

Edge: *flicks sunglasses on* Horny on Main~♡