#barclay

i made them kiss

🍁 It's time to start introducing our contributors, starting with our wonderful guest artist: @itsscaredycat!

1-5 minutes of runtime: Someone kidnaps Data

1:33 minutes of runtime: Swashbuckling intro

34 minutes of runtime: Picard arguing with some stodgy fed over Starfleet Protocol section 8 subsection 32c clause 19 which decides the case as ransomware or kidnapping and all the ramifications thereof

2 minutes of runtime: Data saves himself and returns to the Enterprise. The Enterprise crew does a group hug with their eyes. The stodgy fed goes huh. Maybe that thing really does have feelings. Maybe I oughta think long and hard about my prejudice about lifeforms that are different than me. What do YOU, the viewers at home, think? Is this going over your head? 30 years hence, are you going to say things like "Awww dammit, are they making Star Trek WOKE now?" Well, I suppose that's to be expected, we did have to make it toothless enough to get it past the network.

1:30 minutes of runtime: Swashbuckling credits

star trek tng episode, variant 2

dr. beverly crusher has been possessed by an invisible glowing spirit worm from the 8th dimension. It's strange. It's scary. It came here for one reason and one reason only:;. ... TO FUCK NASTY.

star trek tng episode, variant 3