#bangpullthetrigger

THE FIRST TIME.

       Is after the fifth time Jim invites her into his company. He doesn’t know why she leaves come morning time, nor does he like or approve of it. His wandering feet always manage their way towards the girl, though ; and sometime, they hold both of them up, on dragging days when Jim assures Riley that she can spend the walk to his house on his back.       And so it’s the fifth day, and because it’s a Friday night, Jim takes Riley out for bowling ; just ‘cause. He’s good at it and he figures she hasn’t had much of a childhood if she isn’t sticking her feet into a pair of worn-down clown lookin’ shoes. Riley insists that she doesn’t need to play with the gutters up, though Jim isn’t her expecting her to prove herself a prodigy. He watches her frail, pale arms try and hold up bowling balls of varying sizes and weights. She goes for the 6 pounds.       She hits most of the pins sometimes, and sometimes she gets only two or three at the corner when her aim doesn’t line up. Every now and then they go straight to the gutter.       Riley gets her first strike in her second last turn. And fuck         man, oh man, it’s the first time Jim’s seen her so full of a childlike glee. Jumping in those oversized shoes, Riley pushes her fists out of her long sleeves, both shooting up to the sky. She laughs, she points at the empty alley where all the pins are swept away. She grins at the scoreboard and then she skips to Jim. He crouches to catch her ; two muscular arms come around her back with a sense of protection Jim hopes she can feel. Her body is lifted from the ground for a quick second, pulling her face up close enough for Jim to press a sloppy, open-mouthed laughing kiss to her stretched, grinning cheek.

THE SECOND TIME.

       She lives with Jim now, a silent agreement between both parties. Which means she eats and sleeps in his safety ; today, she’s fallen asleep half-way through a James Bond movies, and Jim happens to miss his mom. The way her head contours against his left thigh reminds him when he did the same to his mother.       He can still detect the beer in his breath, but with a slow inhale, Jim cranes his head down ( ignoring the pressing feeling in his back that comes with curling around someone so much smaller ) and presses a kiss against Riley’s tangled hair.

THE THIRD TIME.

     Disastrous is what Jim refers to this week as ; he’s never liked hospitals nor did he have an eye for flowers and there various assortments. But he goes for sunflowers because it’s the closest to the bright star Riley’s seen for a week.He was fortunate enough to have never had pneumonia      single.He reminds himself that one healthy lung is better than none. He tells Riley.       But she’s already so scrawny and pale that it scares Jim to see the tubes entering her body. He pulls his lips into his mouth, breathing in and out of his nose ; he’s never been so lost as to what to do. A smart-ass at his worst, Jim has nothing to offer ; no witty retorts, no quick, calculated and possibly immoral ( not when it comes to her ) solution that gets him by. Because for once, Jim isn’t looking for a way to get by so much as he’s looking for something permanent to sate his worries and fears. This - Riley’s well being at risk - isn’t something he can swallow, and for Riley’s sake, he can’t choke on it either.                       ” Though the colour would help lighten up the mood. “ A smile sticks to his face like dried up glue, and when Riley returns him the favour, Jim sets the vase of flowers down to reach for the tips of her fingers, pulling them up to his trembling lips.       ” You’ll be outta here soon, Riley. “

THE FOURTH TIME.

       It’s her first morning back from the hospital. Jim was right, and Riley was out in no time. She was weak, but she was alive ; something a lil’ TLC couldn’t fix. Jim’s washing his own bowl of cereal in the sink while Riley finishes off her Cinnamon Toast Crunch. When he turns off the tap, he can hear her spoon hit the bottom of the bowl in repetitive and timely clanks.                         ” Quit makin’ all that noise. You’re havin’ cereal, not minin’ fer diamonds. “ But he’s never threatened her and he never will. And when Riley only grinds those gears of his by making the clanking all the more prominent for his 'old man' ears, Jim throws down the towel to stalk across the table to her side.       ” What’s that ? “ It’s too sweetly spoken as Jim circles to stand behind Riley’s chair, hands on either of her shoulders, fingers just slightly pressing into the skin like the playful threat it is. They both know it. Jim can hear Riley’s laugh stifling as she chews slowly on her cereal. One hand comes off her shoulder, while the other only lets go to poke at the back of her head.                           ” C’mon, finish up. Can’t wait fer you in the kitchen all day. “ Jim instructs, and to soften it just a bit, he doesn’t think twice before arching over her ( the feeling in his back more than welcomes by now ) to press a kiss to her hairline.

THE FIFTH TIME.