#banfactoryfarms

Everyday, I make two full meals from scratch (I might skip on the weekends sometimes). Breakfast and dinner; I eat leftovers for lunch, the kids eat at public school, and my husband grabs something quick from Walmart to Flip Side. Considering that-- now you know why.

Not sure whether to be proud about this or if I should check in with my shrink, but one of my first thoughts in the morning is, “What am I going to make for breakfast?” And as I ruminate about this for a moment while my kid is talking to me about some other instance at school, I then move onto planning dinner once I have breakfast secured. 

And the questions come pouring in, “Momma! What’s for breakfast?” I respond with certainty, and they know, that is what they are having for breakfast. Oh no no no, homey don’t play that “I don’t like it” game. You eat what I serve or else. Your reward is a sophisticated palet. 

I am particular about every singe ingredient that crosses my lips and enters my beautiful body. And I wonder, how the fuck, ANYONE, can eat garbage..

Straight up: I am a judgmental jerk off about that. And unapologetic about it. I have reduced my now deceased grandmother to tears and I almost tore out of my mother’s house the other day over sugar.

And I feel terrible about that. But you know what. I am RIGHT. 

Welp, my presentation about my public edibles initiative for Pecha Kucha went off seamlessly. I met my editor’s deadline for my scathing article on screens, and had a fun weekend floating and dancing with hubs and kittens. Certainly a boss winning type weekend.

But then Lula and I read this book about a little seed trying to eek out an existence. And the compassion I felt for this seed, reminded me of how I feel about eating animals. I love to think about me guzzling lightly salted sunflower seeds. But aren't I just extinguishing another life? 

You can’t say no to this. And this then begs the question-- where does one draw the line in terms of taking a life to feed another? NOW WHAT!

Infernal confusion and questioning around this issue, so let me state what I am clear about so as to be regretful only of the things that I am not.

-wearing an animal is fucked up

-eating a factory farmed animal is also fucked up

-supporting my local farmer who does the most ethical things is good, but she still kills animals for consumption

-my local farmer’s meat is tasty 

-my local farmer’s eggs are the best and I make great quiches

-I am an apex predator

-not necessary to eat other animals to stay alive

-I do need to eat to keep living

-bring back responsible pescatarianism? 

-eating bugs is marginally morally on par with being a vegetarian

I honestly don’t know what to do. And I also wish that an ant did not friggin appear on my laptop just now to underscore the fact that the universe is listening because now I feel as if I am under pressure here. Ostensibly, everything we do matters. Please queue the song by Queen now.