#badvibes

California Baby by Twinsick and Badvibes

Constant thoughts of death

Reminiscing on what’s left

Feeling betrayed by love and depleted by help

Every phase feel likes a maze

Through the maze it’s seem likes a plague

To go through life un phased is another way

To be corrected sometimes feel like I’m being disrespected

-- All the worst hurt in my life has come from those I've loved that hurt can get deeper and more personal than any other hurt or betrayals this opportunistic society can supply.

-- Adults that lack a *pretty* solid sense of self are some of the most dangerous to break bread with and let into your home, because they'll switch up on you so quickly if it's in their favor. They'll mirror your own image onto you and have you thinking they're the same as you- causing a weird quick connection to occur. 

But these people generally can be socially opportunistic and will drop the act and pick up another mirror to fit into a different situation and leave you feeling confused. 

Specifically if you both share a social group. I call this "peg chasing" behavior(and no not in the hawwt way) Watch out of these people, they really pack a bite when everything eventually kicks back at you.

--Some people will use their friendship with you to under cut you on pay in your profession or passion; weather it's being a performer or entertainer for them, your crotchet, anything you market- some people will use connection as a way to get a discount. 

DO NOT do it, if someone truly love and admired you they'd want to pay you so you can keep going and feel fulfilled and successful. Your friendship shouldn't be a bargaining chip in a transaction.

--If someone talks bad about their other friends to you, I can almost guarantee they're talking bad about you also.

To all who celebrate, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! As many of you know, Christmas is my favorite holiday, and this year, I was fortunate enough to spend it surrounded by friends and family. I even took some time off to visit the enchanting Austrian Christmas markets. For many, this season is one of reflection and gratitude—and for me, it’s no different. 2024: A Year of Highs and…

Mas no fundo, pra mim nunca é.

Eu queria mesmo que todas as coisas que aconteceram fossem um motivo ou vários para não continuar te amando.

Eu queria mesmo colocar tudo na balança e acabar pesando mais as partes ruins do que boas pra que finalmente eu consiga seguir em frente sem você.

E olha, por mais difícil que seja, eu estou seguindo em frente!

Mas a cada passo eu olho pra trás pra ver se você realmente não quer vir comigo.

Eu olho pra trás com esperança de que nossos caminhos se cruzem em algum momento, olho pra trás querendo você ao meu lado.

É um olhar de saudade, gratidão por todos os momentos, e sim, ainda é um olhar de amor.

É difícil admitir pra mim mesma que ainda te amo, que você ainda me encontra nos meus sonhos, e que eu ainda quero passar o tempo que me resta ao seu lado.

Tem dias que admitir isso trás leveza, é como se Deus me abraçasse e me dissesse que está tudo bem te amar.

Tem dias que admitir isso me trás um bocado de sentimentos tristes e ruins.

Afinal, não estamos juntos por opção sua.

E é isso que eu penso, e me forço a pensar, toda vez que, como agora, eu sinto sua falta e morro de saudade e vontade de te mandar mensagem.

~sexygreen.