#badconspiracy

The rings of Saturn are wedding rings. She’s married to Earth

We see ads for things we only think about because our brains are being read for data. Intrusive thoughts we experience are a result of them testing that same technology in preparation for direct-to-brain advertisements

Jon is short for Jonald

Ouija boards are portals to speak to your parallel universe self. It just so happens your parallel self is really bad at spelling

Mercutio dreamed of his own death and his Queen Maab speech is a frantic effort to convince himself it wasn’t real

Stars are not real. Go take your iron pill.

The musical Cats is so weird to humans because it is secretly written in a key only real felines can hear and the only actual song they play is a recreation of the “Its a Hard Knock Life” prison scene from Austin Powers’ Goldmember

Shakespeare was actually a dozen mice in a doublet