My Favorite Meatbag
(Tech & TAY-0)
(w/ special appearance by Crosshair and Egg the Crow from the Cross and Crow series)
Also found on AO3 here
"We're baaaaack!" Omega's voice bounced with her steps as she bolted down the Marauder’s ramp. She was greeted by a crowd of Pabu villagers who responded to her cheer with equal excitement.
Tech was hoping no one would notice their arrival, yet it sounded like the whole island was present.
"Yeah! Woo! We made it!" Wrecker shouted, shaking the whole ship as he ran down the ramp after Omega.
Tech was still seated on his bunk as he watched Hunter and Echo follow Wrecker. They graciously accepted pats on the back and warm hugs from the villagers as they descended, expressing a level of ease and good humor that eluded Tech on even his most social days.
He wished they had arrived in the dead of night, so that he may sneak off to his assigned quarters, decompress, and then acclimate to this new life on his own schedule.
"Are you coming?"
Crosshair stood at the top of the ramp, his newly befriended crow, Egg, sitting on his shoulder.
Crosshair and Egg gave Tech an intense stare, and they both had a toothpick in their mouth and beak respectively.
"Not yet," Tech said. “I will be along shortly.”
He wasn't making an excuse, but it was a convenient last errand before he unofficially retired with his siblings.
“Suit yourself,” Crosshair shrugged. “We’re going to the beach. Less people. C’mon, Egg, let’s stretch our wings.”
Tech waited until Crosshair exited the ramp before closing the hatch. Not being interrupted by loud, friendly locals was preferable, especially during this rather delicate procedure.
Tech sat at his work bench and produced a soft cloth bundle from his munitions cache where he had stored the racer droid’s head over a year ago.
The sudden destruction of TAY-0 was jarring to say the least, and it had felt wrong to leave him behind on Safa Toma to be melted down and turned into who-knows-what.
Tech removed TAY-0’s faceplate, studying the tangled and frayed wires within and seeing a clearer path here than he did in his own future. Beyond the Marauder’s ramp there were too many variables to quantify, but here he still had some semblance of control and he wasn't going to leave the ship until TAY-0 was up and running.
It took twenty minutes longer than he anticipated, but by the time he was done the cacophonous joy outside the ship had dissipated, and was replaced with the crisp sounds of TAY-0’s circuits jolting to life.
Tech replaced the faceplate just as the three eyes and series of rectangles that shaped the droid’s mouth began to flicker.
“I…regret…nothing!” TAY-0 said, repeating his final words expelled moments after being blown to bits by a fellow riot racer’s pod.
"Hello," Tech greeted. "How are you feeling?"
“Woo! What a rush!” TAY-0’s triple eyes flashed and his face plate tried to spin, but was blocked by the workbench. He bobbled clumsily across the surface. “Safa Toma’s finest is back, baby! Can’t keep a good TAY-0 dow-…wait…what?! Why can’t I move?!”
Tech picked up the disembodied head. “I’m sorry to have brought you back in such a state, but I wanted to make sure I could restore you, before building you a body.”
TAY-0 flipped his face plate around once. Then twice. Then spun frantically. “Where is my everything, human?!”
Tech adjusted his goggles. “In a scrap pile, I imagine, to be melted down and reused for future Riot Racer repairs.”
"Well, aren't you just a meatbag full of sunshine and confetti? TAY-0's in pain here, human, how about a little sympathy?"
“You don’t have any pain receptors,” Tech said.
“Emotional pain!” TAY-0 said. “TAY-0’s heart is broken, literally and figuratively!”
“It…isn’t ideal, I admit,” Tech said. “Now that we've docked however, I can put together something more mobile for you. I again, apologize for your condition and how long it took me to revive you."
“What do you mean ‘how long’?” TAY-0 balked. “Give it to me straight, doc. How long was TAY-0 out for?”
Tech did a quick calculation, subtracting the two initial attempts to revive TAY-0. “Fourteen standard months, and thirteen days.”
“A whole year?!” TAY-0 cried. “An entire year of my life gone?! What about TAY-0's family, huh?! TAY-0's wife probably ran off with some smarmy R2 unit! Soooo typical."
Tech's eyes narrowed.
"I am not a stranger to sarcasm." Tech said, dryly. This was…partially true. He did miss sarcasm more often than not, but TAY-0’s sarcasm was as thick as Crosshair’s and easily identifiable.
"Caught on, huh? Fourteen months is nothing," TAY-0 said, cheerfully. “I'm gonna live forever.” His face plate did a 360 turn. "So, when's the next race? You better not have trashed my pod while I was out of commission."
Tech frowned. "There is no race. I don't believe this planet has racing of any kind."
Surprisingly, TAY-0 didn’t have an immediate response. In fact, he looked at Tech with what could be described as a blank expression. “Hey, not to look a gift eopie in the snoot, but why would you bring TAY-0 back if not for racing?"
"I don’t understand the question.”
"My owners bring me out for two things: Racing and Prepping for a Race. If I’ve completed those tasks, boom, TAY-0 is shut down and shoved in a locker until the next race. So what’s the play here? Why bring me out if I’m not useful?”
“I…” Tech blinked. "I was unaware of this arrangement. Did you not have a choice in the matter?"
"Hah, a droid with a choice? Cute, human, real cute. Droids get powered up to make credits for the meatbags, that's just how it is."
"It isn't like this everywhere. Certainly not here."
Again TAY-0 was quiet, tilting his face plate down as though deep in thought. "Okay…so…you still haven't answered my question, human."
"It's not a complicated reason." Tech said. “It bothered me that you were destroyed. I wanted to restore you.”
After a moment, Tech added. “You also call me ‘human’, and I find it fascinating.”
“Okay, wow…well, if calling someone by their species is all the criteria I need for a friendship I’d be much more popular.”
Tech hadn’t mentioned friendship. This was simply a gesture of good will. Nothing more. Probably.
“I am a clone of a human," Tech clarified. "and what’s more, I am a variant clone, an experimental project. As such I grew up being called all manner of things, but never 'human'. My brothers and I have owned the moniker ‘bad batch’, but I do not believe I am ‘bad’. In fact, I feel far superior to regs…regular clones and humans.”
"Huh…"
Tech waited for a snarky reply, mocking him for just the simple pleasure of being considered human.
Surprisingly, all three of TAY-0's eyes dimmed briefly, with some sort of emotion Tech couldn't immediately decipher.
“TAY-0 knows how lonely it is at the top. It's hard being this good-looking and talented, y’know? Well you probably don’t know, but trust me. Everyone is jealous of me on Safa Toma.”
Tech’s eye twitched. “I see…”
“Well anyway! So you freed TAY-0 and that’s great news and all, but I have a pretty big existential question here, human: TAY-0 is good at racing, right? And if there’s no racing then what am I good at exactly?”
The question struck Tech like clanker shrapnel to the heart. "As it happens, I have been asking that very same question of myself. I was a soldier, then a mercenary of sorts, now…I have a stable home, and no mission. The future is uncertain and it bothers me greatly."
"Same boat, huh? Well, human, you're in luck, because I have an exceptional mind and you're pretty smart, too. We're going to come up with new purposes. Between the two of us we can figure it out, yeah?"
Tech smiled faintly. "Perhaps we can."
“Sooo, where did you bring me, human? Where are TAY-0’s new stomping grounds, assuming you’re going to give me some stomping feet?"
“You may receive treads, but we’ll deal with that later,” Tech said. Holding TAY-0’s head-frame firmly, he went to the cockpit, bringing up a holomap to accompany the rather spectacular view.
To the East was an uninterrupted landscape of calm ocean, the sapphire waters wearing the golden sunlight like a shimmering cape.
To the West was home.
“This…is Pabu.”
The single mountainous island was a quiet sentinel in the dreamy sea, rich in natural history, peaceful at times, violent in others. The domestic structures built all over the island seemed to add to the beauty, not tame it, as if the island itself granted permission to let these villagers thrive.
TAY-0 gasped. “Wow…”
Tech’s smile widened, with an unexpected sense of pride.
“...this place is cuuuuuute.”
Tech’s lips thinned.
“And by cute, I mean tiiiiiny. Did you find this place at the bottom of a mantell mix box? Where are we going to live? In conch shells? Like hermit crabs?! Ahahahaha.”
Tech turned TAY-0’s head frame sharply toward him, cupping the face plate so he couldn’t move, forcing TAY-0 to look directly at Tech in his goggled eyes.
“When we leave this ship, you are going to behave yourself. You will be gracious. You will be respectful. This island is a safe haven and a carefully guarded secret. Kindness to these very generous people will go a long way if you are to make any friends here.”
“Friends?” TAY-0 asked. He looked…hurt. “But, TAY-0 thought we were friends.”
Another mention of friendship…
…Tech waited for the punchline.
There wasn’t one.
TAY-0 looked quietly at Tech as if waiting for a response.
Tech hesitated.“You…don't even know my name,” Tech reasoned.
“Sure I do, human.”
“...it isn’t-”
“It’s not human,” TAY-0 said, quickly. “I know that!”
Tech tilted his head.
“Ah ha, trick question,” TAY-0 ventured. “You don’t have a name.”
“This is not how a friendship starts,” Tech said, not knowing the first thing about cultivating an actual friendship. Though he imagined an exchange of names would be included. “My name is Tec-”
“Tech!" TAY-0 took over. "Your name is Tech. Uh yeah, of course it is, how could TAY-0 forget a name like that. It’s so…”
Tech frowned.
“...short.”
“Brevity is the spice of life."
“Uh huh, yeah, That's not something TAY-0 will crosstitch on a pillow anytime soon. TAY-0 doesn't do brevity.”
“Obviously.”
“Well, Tech, you’re in luck because it just so happens there's a vacancy for TAY-0’s best friend. You’re it! Congratulations!”
Tech considered this, pressing the edge of his finger to his chin in thought. “I’ve…never had a friend that has elevated me to a ‘best’ status before.”
“Oh yeah? How many friends you got?”
“Apart from my siblings?”
“That…sounds like the number's zero.”
“Correct. It is zero. And how many friends do you-”
“Hey, hey, we’re not talking about TAY-0 here.”
Tech didn't push the issue.
They were a pair of friendless entities, brilliant and unappreciated though Tech had far more humility regarding how superior he was to others. Naturally.
“Are you ready to go outside?”
“Wait! One more thing,” TAY-0 said.
Tech held TAY-0 up to his face again. “What is it?”
TAY-0’s eyes flickered, and while the blinking facial expressions were unknowable to Tech, he had the impression that TAY-0 was growing emotional again.
“I’m glad it was you who brought me back, human. Tech. You're my favorite meatbag.”
"Full of sunshine and confetti?"
TAY-0's eyes flashed with apparent mirth.
"Exaaaaactly!"
Tech snorted a laugh.
And with that, Tech punched the button for the ramp, relieved to find the crowd had indeed dispersed.
Tech took TAY-0 to the beach where only Crosshair sat, boots beside him as he hid his feet in the sand, watching Egg soar around his new home.
“This is an ideal stretch for Riot Racing,” TAY-0 said, eyes glowing, face plate spinning enthusiastically.
“As I said before, there is no racing here.”
‘Well, we’ll just have to change that. This island is in dire need of a little TAY-0 style.”
"This is a peaceful island, TAY-0.”
"Ugh, fine. We’ll have Quiet Racing. Quiet Riot Racing! Hey that could be your name, Texx: The Quiet Riot Racer!"
“It's Tech, and we’ll see.”
It wasn't a bad nickname. The announcer at the Safa Toma Riot Race seemed disappointed with announcing the winner as just "Tech".
"Or you can continue being the Spectacled Spectator! Your brother loved it.”
“Technically, you’re the one spectating, as that's all you can do currently.”
“Oh haha, you're hilaaaarious, y'know that, bestie?"
"Let's start with 'friend', first," Tech said, sitting on a bench just behind the beach line. He set TAY-0's head beside him so he could also enjoy the view.
In the distance, Crosshair and Egg tossed a piece of shiny shell back and forth.
"We can revisit our status when you remember my name." Tech decided.
"I haven't forgotten it, human…it's…Ted."
"Tech."
"That's what I said!"
Tech's laugh came out loud and unexpected, a short burst of mirth that was unfamiliar to his own ears. These days mild amusement was most he could conjure as it had been a hard year. A harder several years actually since the Empire took over.
And even before then…when had he felt comfortable enough to laugh?
The sound carried to Crosshair and Egg who both whipped their heads back in equal startlement.
"What's that about?" TAY-0 challenged. "Ol' toothpick over there never heard a human laugh before?"
"Not this…human." Tech felt something loosen in his chest, like an overtightened gear cog finally shaking off the rust of fear and worry and instability.
He took a deep breath of the salty, fresh air.
He felt very human.
"Tech…" TAY-0 said, his gaze fixed to the ocean. "Thanks. I mean it. You didn't have to bring me back and you did. TAY-0 doesn't forget kindness like this."
Most likely because few have shown TAY-0 kindness at all, but Tech kept this observation to himself.
He put a hand on TAY-0's head frame as the sun meandered its way towards the horizon.
"You're welcome, my friend."
***
If you enjoyed my writing, please consider checking out my queer sci-fi murder mystery novel “Error: Detective Not Found (A Cake Pop Noir)”. You can also find more info on it and my original works on my main tumblr account @blueberryhelper
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