#baconspread

It's almost Fall, thank the Kalis and the Buddhas, and the time has come to contemplate the love that dare not speak its name:  condiment on condiment love.  

Of course, this all goes back to the original question - what came first, the condiment or the condimentee?  It depends on how you use the substance.  

Lately, as I come home from my travails of scaling the mountains of the world to find and document the finest condiment experiences, I have been smearing black pepper and fennel bacon spread on Parmesan Crisp crackers.  I know what you're thinking - but, CondimentGrrl, how can you call a cracker a condiment?  Also, while we're talking, how are you so ethereally beautiful?  

Oh, my children, think about it.  One:  the preservatives in the condiments keep me young. 

Two:  Parmesan is normally considered a condiment as you sprinkle it on omelettes, pasta, or Idris Elba's torso, depending on your mood.  But when it is baked into a cracker, voila - it's a condiment cracker.  

These days bacon has moved beyond breakfast food to become the slut of the food groups.  Hey baby, I'm a main course.  I'm a dessert.  I'm a freaking condiment!  I'm usually opposed to anything but bacon in its purest form (bacon bits are the lowest of the low).  But the bacon spread is really really good.  And on parmesan crackers - it is heavenly.  

It's rich.  It's salty.  It's crackly.  These days with technology changing so rapidly, we need to be flexible and keep up.  Condiment on condiment love is now legal in 54 states.  Go for it.  

Here's my favorite recipe (and I worked really hard on it): 

Take one of these:

Then take some of this and spread it on: 

Voila!  You are saved.  And maybe, just maybe, you can achieve my ethereal glow.