also i've never been fully in subspace with someone and it's carving out a little pit in my chest

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also i've never been fully in subspace with someone and it's carving out a little pit in my chest

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not /trying/ to seem unhappy with being aspec, but it really sucks that i get super anxious about hooking up with people bc i'm demi.
every once in a while I know and trust someone enough to want to hook with them, them immediately get concerned that:
1) I have a crush on them that i just haven't acknowledged yet. (and it's unrequited)
2) they have a crush on me I don't know about (and it's unrequited)
3) I actually shouldn't trust them and they're going to tell everyone we know
and all 3 stress me out to no end
another hot coworker (and friend) is leaving the company and i really want him to fuck me but i'm too scared to ask. i think he would too, i just a) want him to hurt me and b) generally get freaked out by the thought of hookups
my wand died and now i have to go to work hard :(
fucked up but i love it still

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y'all pick next month's hobby
leatherwork (new!)
nsfw writing
"just the tip"ed myself into taking the knot on my biggest dildo in record time tonight, then overstimmed after accidentally ruining my orgasm
might end up sore tomorrow but who cares. not like it's a physical job or customer facing or anything (it is both)
finally writing fanfic again!! *rubs my gay little hands together*